[sexual.orientation.overview]


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SCIENCE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, & IDENTITY: AN OVERVIEW
by Warren J. Blumenfeld

Adolescence is usually an exciting though conflicting stage of enormous
change in a person's life. Though not a particularly easy period for
most young people, for heterosexual adolescents, social and educational
structures are in place to support their emerging sexual identity
formation. Through the process of socialization, their feelings are
validated and mirrored by their peers, by supportive adult role models,
through course materials and class discussions, and by positive
portrayals in the media. School and home environments (primary places of
socialization) permit them the opportunity to openly explore and
rehearse behaviors necessary for the development of interpersonal skills
and formation of their identities.

The situation is often quite different for young people experiencing
same-sex attractions. Though some young people do come to terms fairly
early with their lesbian, gay, or bisexual orientation and have little
difficulty gaining the support they need, with the enormous peer
pressure to conform to a heterosexual standard, coupled with the social
stigma surrounding homosexuality and lack of support systems in many
quarters, many young people turn inward.

When discussing the field of adolescent development, three crucial terms
stick out. These are: 1. COMPLEXITY, 2. COMPLEXITY, and 3. COMPLEXITY.
Having stated this, even though adolescent development does not lend
itself to easy answers or analysis, some general definitions can be
given to contextualize this life phase.

TERMINOLOGY

1. Jeff is a star athlete. In fact, at sixteen, he is the youngest
captain in the history of his high school's football team. Other sports
he excels in include baseball and soccer. In two years, he hopes to be
accepted to college on a sports scholarship.

2. Margot also enjoys sports. This year, she led her high school
basketball team to win the state championship. Each morning she comes to
school early to practice her jump shots and lift weights to increase her
strength and endurance.

3. Leslie prefers reading Victorian novels and writing for her high
school newspaper. Her favorite classes are English and Home Economics.
She also loves children and wants very much to become a second grade
teacher. She also plans to have two or three children of her own one
day.

4. Michael has an ear for both languages and music. In addition to
English, he speaks fluent Spanish and French and plays violin in his
school and community orchestras. As a member of his high school drama
club, he performed one of the lead roles in this year's production of "A
Chorus Line."

Some people think they can usually tell who is gay or lesbian by a
person's interests or appearance. all right, for those of you who think
this is true, take a moment and write the numbers for the individuals
above who you think are lesbian or gay?

OK, time is up. Which numbers did you write down? Did you write 1? 2? 3?
4? Did you write all of the numbers? one of them? two? three? None?

Well, as most of you are probably aware by now, the correct answer is:
Who knows. With the information given above, there is no reasonable way
of knowing the sexual identity of these individuals. Though some people
may look or behave according to certain stereotypes, unless people tell
us, we have no way of knowing their sexual identity.

If we think we can accurately determine most persons' sexual identity by
appearance and interests alone, then in all likelihood we are confusing
a number of separate and distinct components of what together have come
to be called Gender and Sexual Identity.

These components include:

BIOLOGICAL (SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS CHROMOSOMAL) SEX: This can be
considered as our packaging and is determined by our chromosomes (XX for
females, XY for males); our hormones (estrogen and progesterone for
females, testosterone for males); and our internal and external
genitalia (vulva, clitoris, vagina for females, penis and testicles for
males). About 4% of the population can be defined as Intersexuals born
with biological aspects of both sexes to varying degrees.

(CORE) GENDER IDENTITY: This is the individual's innermost concept of
self as male or female -- what we perceive and call ourselves.
Individuals develop this generally between the ages of 18 months and 3
years. Most people develop a gender identity aligning with their
biological sex. For some, however, their gender identity is different
from their biological sex. We call these transsexuals, some of whom
hormonally and/or surgically change their sex to more fully match their
gender identity.

GENDER ROLE (SOMETIMES CALLED SEX ROLE): This is the set of
socially-defined roles and behaviors assigned to females and males. This
can vary from culture to culture. Our society recognizes basically two
distinct gender roles. One is the masculine: having the qualities or
characteristics attributed to males. The other is the feminine: having
the qualities or characteristics attributed to females. (A third gender
role, rarely, though increasingly condoned in our society, is
androgyny combining assumed male (andro) and female (gyne) qualities.)
Some people step out of their assigned gender roles or crossdress
(wearing the clothing traditionally reserved for the other sex). Though
not universal or even precise, some of the terms used to identify these
individuals include transvestites (often heterosexual men and women who
crossdress), Drag Queens (male homosexuals who crossdress), Drag Kings
(female homosexuals who crossdress). Our society seems to have a higher
tolerance for crossing the gender role of females then for males.

AFFECTIONAL ORIENTATION: This is determined by whom we feel comfortable
hanging out with, whom we are close to in a primarily non-erotic way.
Most people seem to have a Bi-affectional orientation -- with
individuals of both sexes. Sexual (or Erotic) Orientation: This is
determined by whom we are sexually (or erotically) attracted -- our
sexual/erotic drives, desires, fantasies. Categories of sexual
orientation include homosexuals -- gay, lesbian -- attracted to some
members of the same sex; bisexuals, attracted to some members of both
sexes to varying degrees; heterosexuals, attracted to some members of
the other sex; and asexuals, attracted to neither sex. Some sexuality
researchers suggest that pederasts (or pedophiles) -- adults
sexually/erotically attracted to children) might constitute a separate
category of sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation is believed to be influenced by a variety of factors
including genetics and hormones, as well as unknown environmental
factors. Though the origins of sexual orientation are not completely
understood, it is generally believed to be established during early
childhood, usually before the age of five. [1]

In 1973, the American Psychiatric Associated voted to eliminate
homosexuality from its list of disordered mental conditions, referring
to it rather as a variation in sexual orientation. Two years later, the
American Psychological Association followed suit by resolving that,
Homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, liability, or
general societal or vocational capabilities, and urged psychologists "to
take the lead in removing the stigma of mental illness long associated
with homosexual orientations. [2]

Still today, however, some clinicians hold views contrary to these
written policies and many are ill-equipped to council LGBT clients. In
one study, nearly two-thirds of school guidance counselors surveyed
expressed negative attitudes and feelings about homosexuality and LGBT
persons. Though most of these counselors reported knowing at least one
LGBT student, few felt prepared to work with this population. [3]

Some prospective teachers seem likewise unprepared to respond
supportively. Sears found that 80 percent of prospective teachers
surveyed harbored negative feelings toward LGBT students. Those pursuing
certification in elementary education were more likely to express
homophobic attitudes than those planning to teach in the secondary
schools. [4] A number of studies found that an overwhelming majority of
school administrators would dismiss a teacher for disclosing her or his
homosexuality to students and concluded that educators, in general, lack
sufficient knowledge and training to address the needs and concerns of
students with same-sex feelings. [5] Sexual Behavior: This is what we do
sexually and with whom. Though the culture has little or no influence
over a persons' primary sexual attractions (sexual orientation), our
culture can heavily influence peoples' actions and sexual behaviors. For
example, one may have a homosexual orientation, but due to overriding
condemnations against same-sex sexual expression, may pass by having sex
only with people of the other sex.

Sexuality researcher Alfred C. Kinsey and his colleagues devised a
seven-point scale to chart the full spectrum of human sexual behavior,
with 0 representing those whose histories are exclusively heterosexual,
and "6" for those who are exclusively homosexual in behavior. Others
were placed along the scale depending on the percentage of heterosexual
or homosexual sexual acts in relation to overall behavior. Kinsey's
findings and other studies also suggest that sexuality is indeed more
fluid and complex than once believed. Sexual Identity: This is what we
call ourselves. Such labels include lesbian, gay, bisexual, bi, queer,
questioning, undecided or undetermined, heterosexual, straight, asexual,
and others. Sexual identity evolves through a multi-stage developmental
process, which varies in intensity and duration depending on the
individual.

Our sexual behavior and how we define ourselves (our identity) is
usually a choice. Though some people claim their sexual orientation is
also a choice, for the vast majority, this doesn't seem to be the case.

The question might then arise, Because sexual identity is a personal
decision arising from certain socially-constructed categories, why would
anyone feel compelled to define her/himself in these terms, since labels
are best left to jars and cans. Some people, in fact, choose not to
define themselves. Possibly, in an ideal world devoid of homophobia, few
people would construct a personal identity based on sexual orientation.
Since we do not live in this ideal world, however, people define
themselves to assure their visibility in a society that wishes to shove
them into a closet of denial and fear, and to associate with others who
have constructed similar identities.

In summary then, the above categories represent a framework for looking
at aspects of behavior and identity. Though sometimes connected, these
aspects are, for the most part, distinct and unrelated. Though
stereotypes and myths persist, most gay, lesbian, and bisexual people,
do not feel they are trapped in the body or want always to wear the
clothing traditionally worn by members of the other sex; transsexuals
are not always gay, lesbian, or bisexual in orientation; and not all
people who have sex with others of the same sex self-identify as gay,
lesbian, or bisexual.


COMING OUT IDENTITY STAGE MODELS [6]

Researchers have developed theoretical models charting the coming-out
process. Three models discussed below include those of Richard R.
Troiden, Vivienne Cass, and Eli Coleman. These researchers pattern their
theories after the multi-stage models of personality development
pioneered by people such as sociologist Charles Horton Cooley,
philosopher George Herbert Mead, and psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and
Erik Erikson, who believed that personal identity develops along an
interactive process between the individual and his or her environment.
Such models may differ in their specific view of human development but
all share the basic assumption that humans move through life experiences
within a particular framework. This framework provides a means by which
one can understand the process an individual is experiencing and also to
predict what form future stages might take. In addition, an awareness of
these stages enables the individual to gauge her or his relation to
other individuals who are having or have had similar experiences.

These models have been suggested as explanatory frameworks for a variety
of human processes. For example, Lawrence Kohlberg describes stages of
moral development, Jean Piaget outlines stages of sensory/motor
development, and Elizabeth Kubler-Ross charts five stages in the process
of coming to terms with death.

It must be emphasized that the coming-out models presented below merely
depict general patterns and each person comes out in different ways
under unique circumstances. Studies suggest that the coming-out journey
that begins with an early awareness of feelings of difference to the
development of an integrated identity takes many years. Some people move
more quickly than others. And some may become stuck and never progress
to the final stages. The reasons why people move from stage to stage, or
fail to move, are very complex. Theorists have stressed, however, that
societal attitudes are important in affecting the development of a
person's positive identity.

It is important to mention that males and females tend to differ
slightly at points within the process. In the past, females tended to
come out and have same-sex experiences slightly later than their male
counterparts, though this gap has almost disappeared in resent years. In
addition, during the later stages of the coming-out process, both males
and females can and do form stable and strong relationships. This tends
to be true, however, more in the case of females than males. These
apparent differences may say more about the disparity in the attitudes
and behaviors of males and females in general than about the differences
particular to gay males and lesbians. This difference, too, has begun to
disappear in recent years.

Gilbert Herdt has discovered other variables in the coming out process:

1. Adolescents who behave in gender unconventional ways, and who have
had same-sex sexual experiences, tend to travel through the
developmental stages -- especially the earlier stages -- quicker because
they seem to have less sexual identity confusion and less chance of
hiding. Adolescents who more closely conform to gender role expectations
and have had heterosexual sexual experiences seem, at least initially,
to have greater sexual identity confusion.

2. Family support will facilitate smoother passage through the stages,
while lack of support will delay this passage.

3. Adolescents from working class families with more highly defined
gender roles and expectations, are more likely to engage in gender
unconventional behaviors.

4. Families with strong ethnic backgrounds tend to reject gay and
lesbian adolescents less, to preserve the family unit. However, this
acceptance often comes with the assumption that the child may be
"damaged but our own," which can hurt the child's self esteem.

5. Coming out can be likened to the anthropological model of an
adolescent rite of passage. This rite has been made possible by a
greater visibility and shared sense lesbian/gay/ bisexual/transgender
communities, supporting and making the way easier for young people.

6. The coming out process is particularly difficult for ethnic, racial,
and religious minority youth, since sometimes they feel they must
abandon a central identity in taking on a new one. The loss must be
acknowledged as a ritual death, before a newly negotiated relationship
to minority status can be assumed along with a sexual identity.

7. The problems sometimes faced in the coming out process, e.g.
depression, substance abuse, suicide, etc., are related to stigma and
rejection more than to confusion over desires or inability to form
intimate relationships. [7]

Richard R. Troiden believes that sexual identities (perceptions of self
as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, even asexual) are fundamentally
social in origin. He offers a four-stage model for the charting of the
gay and lesbian coming-out process. Troiden states that only a small
portion of all people who have had "homosexual experiences" actually
adopt lesbian or gay identities. The process is likened to a horizontal
spiral, like a spring lying on its side. Progress through the stages
occurs in back-and-forth, up-and-down ways, and develops within a
climate of stigmatization. [8]

STAGE 1: SENSITIZATION

This stage occurs before puberty, when the individual experiences
general feelings of marginality and perceptions of being somehow
different from same-sex peers. This sense of difference stems more from
social interests or behaviors considered gender neutral or gender
atypical, though it can also stem from feelings of sexual interest in
others of the same sex.

STAGE 2: IDENTITY CONFUSION

During early adolescence, this stage is emphasized by an inner turmoil
and uncertainty surrounding sexual identity: a time of identity limbo
before the individual develops perceptions of self as gay or lesbian,
but also when he or she is no longer certain of being heterosexual. By
middle to late adolescence, the perception of I am probably homosexual
begins to emerge. This stage might last anywhere from a month, a year,
or in some cases, permanently. Factors responsible for this confusion
include:

a. Altered perceptions of self, feelings of being sexually different;

b. Experiences of heterosexual and homosexual arousal and behavior;

c. Stigma surrounding homosexuality; the societal condemnation of
homosexuality creates problems of guilt, secrecy, and difficulty in
gaining access to other gay and lesbian people.

d. Inaccurate knowledge about homosexuals and homosexuality. To help
young people at this stage, they need to be made aware that gay and
lesbian people exist and must be given accurate and current information
about those who occupy the category to see the connections and
similarities between their own desires and behaviors and those who label
themselves as gay or lesbian.

During this stage, the individual's confusion might result in one or a
number of stigma-management strategies, sometimes referred to as forms
of internalized homophobia:

1. Denial of the homosexual component of their feelings, fantasies, or
behaviors.

2. Repair involving attempts to rid themselves of same-sex feelings and
behaviors. Professional psychiatric help is sometimes sought.

3. Avoidance can take a number of forms:
     a. inhibition of behaviors or interests thought associated with
homosexuality
     and with gay and lesbian people.
     b. limiting exposure to members of the other sex to prevent peers
and family
     from suspecting individual's relative lack of heterosexual desires.
     c. avoidance of accurate information that would confirm to the
individual her
     or his suspected gay or lesbian identity.
     d. distancing through homophobic acts by ridiculing and/or
attacking
     homosexuality and gay and lesbian people.
     e. escapism through the use and abuse of chemical substances.

4. Redefining the meaning of the feelings, fantasies, or behaviors to
the self: I'm not really homosexual. I'm only passing through a phase.
or Gee, was I drunk. or It only happened once. or I'm probably bisexual.

5. Acceptance that feelings, fantasies, or behaviors are homosexual and
the individuals seek out additional sources of information and gradual
realization that gay and lesbian exist as valid social categories, which
eventually begins to diminish sense of isolation.

STAGE 3: IDENTITY ASSUMPTION

For many, this stage occurs during or after late adolescence, when a
"lesbian" or "gay" identity becomes both a self identity and a presented
identity (one which one tells to others -- at least to other
self-identified lesbian and gay people). This stage is emphasized by
identity tolerance and acceptance, more frequent associations with other
gay and lesbian people, sexual experimentation, and exploration into the
lesbian and gay subculture. Contact with other gay and lesbian people
provides the individual with models to learn effective strategies for
stigma management, ways to legitimize his or her desires and behaviors
to neutralize feelings of guilt, the range of identities and roles
available to her or him, and the norms of conduct. There are a number of
stigma management strategies evident at this stage.

a. Capitulation refers to the avoidance of same-sex activity due to an
internalization of the social stigma associated with homosexuality. This
avoidance coupled with a persistence of desire may lead to increased
self-hatred and despair.

b. Individuals who use minstrelization express their identity in gender
atypical ways, acting out the dominant culture's stereotypes of gays and
lesbians.

c. While self defining as lesbian or gay, some attempt to pass as
heterosexual to heterosexual peers, family, and co-workers. Passers lead
double lives segregating their social worlds into heterosexual and
homosexual hoping the two never meet.

d. Group alignment includes further submerging oneself within the gay
and lesbian community, and in some cases, attempting to avoid the
straight world as much as possible. By the end of stage 3, people begin
to accept themselves as gay or lesbian.

STAGE 4: COMMITMENT

Commitment involves a self-acceptance and comfort with a gay or lesbian
identity and adopting this as a way of life. This has both internal and
external dimensions.

a. Internal: fusion of sexuality and emotionality into a significant
whole; shift in the meanings attached to gay and lesbian identities from
merely a form or behavior or sexuality to a state of being or a way of
life; perception of the identity as a valid self-identity; expressed
satisfaction with the identity; and increased happiness after
self-defining as lesbian or gay.

b. External: enter same-sex love relationships; disclose identity to
non-gays; shift stigma-management strategies. Covering and blending
appear to replace passing and group alignment at this stage in the
coming-out process as stigma-management strategies. Those who cover are
willing to acknowledge their identity, especially if asked, though they
still may take great pains to keep it from surfacing, minimize the
importance of their same-sex identity, or try to be viewed as
respectable. People who blend behave in ways considered
gender-appropriate or gender-conventional and neither announce nor deny
their sexual identity to non-gay and lesbian people. They consider their
identity to be irrelevant and cloak their private lives in a shroud of
silence and secrecy.

Gays and lesbians who convert, not only destigmatize homosexuality and
gay and lesbian people, but turn it into a mark of pride. For many,
their goal is to eliminate homophobia through public education and
political change. Vivienne Cass proposes a coming-out model with six
interconnecting stages: [9]

STAGE 1: IDENTITY CONFUSION

This is the Who am I? stage associated with the feeling that one is
different from peers, accompanied by a growing sense of personal
alienation. The person begins to be conscious of same-sex feelings or
behaviors and to label them as such. It is rare at this stage for the
person to disclose inner turmoil to others.

Writing about women experiencing this stage, one researcher states:

Acknowledgment of the sexual element of being different is often
accompanied with feelings of denial, shame, anxiety, and ambivalence.
This is a time of great dissonance and inner turmoil. A woman faces a
conflict between the process of socialization, which teacher her that
she will probably marry and have a family, and her feelings, which pull
her toward wanting intimacy with other women. [10] Suicide is the most
extreme manifestation of such dissonance. Indeed, the majority of gay
and lesbian suicides occur between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one.
[11]

STAGE 2: IDENTITY COMPARISON

This is the rationalization or bargaining stage where the person thinks,
I may be a homosexual, but then again I may be bisexual, Maybe this is
just temporary, or, My feelings of attraction are simply for just one
other person of my own sex and this is a special case. There is a
heightened sense of not belonging anywhere with the corresponding
feeling that I am the only one in the world like this.

The person has four options in reducing the feelings of alienation at
this stage:

a. Reacts positively to being different, which is seen as something
desirable, though still presenting a public image of heterosexuality
(passing). Four ways of using the passing strategy:

     1. Avoiding threatening situations;
     2. Controlling personal information -- presenting only select
		aspects of self;
     3. Cultivating images of heterosexuality of asexuality;
     4. Role distancing, -- adopting a stance of detachment from
		anything homosexual.

b. Accepts the homosexual meaning of ones behavior, but finds a
homosexual self-image undesirable.

c. Accepts self as homosexual and behavior as having homosexual meaning,
but views behavioral component as undesirable.

d. Sees self and behaviors as undesirable and wishes to change both.

STAGE 3: IDENTITY TOLERANCE

In this I probably am a homosexual stage, the person begins to contact
other homosexuals (viewed as something that has to be done) to
counteract feelings of isolation and alienation, but merely tolerates
rather than fully accepts a gay or lesbian identity. The feeling of not
belonging with heterosexuals becomes stronger.

If contacts with homosexuals are negative (unrewarding), the person
devalues the gay subculture. In the case, the person often reduces
contacts with other gay and lesbian people, and/or attempts to inhibit
all homosexual behaviors. Sometimes, with negative contacts, identity
foreclosure can occur.

Positive contacts can have the effect of making other gay and lesbian
people appear more significant and more positive to the person at this
stage, leading to a more favorable sense of self and a greater
commitment to a homosexual self-identity.

STAGE 4: IDENTITY ACCEPTANCE

There is continued and increased contact with other gay and/or lesbian
people in this stage, where friendships start to form. The individual
thus evaluates other lesbian and gay people more positively and accepts
rather than merely tolerates a lesbian or gay self-image. The earlier
questions of Who am I? and Where do I belong? have been answered.

Coping strategies for handling incongruity at this stage include
continuing to pass as heterosexual, and limiting contacts with
heterosexuals who threaten to increase incongruity (e.g. some family
members and/or peers). The person can also selectively disclose a
homosexual identity to significant heterosexuals.

STAGE 5: IDENTITY PRIDE

This is the These are my people stage where the individual develops an
awareness of the enormous incongruity that exists between the person's
increasingly positive concept of self as lesbian or gay and an awareness
of society's rejection of this orientation. The person feels anger at
heterosexuals and devalues many of their institutions (e.g. marriage,
gender-role structures, etc.) The person discloses her or his identity
to more and more people and wishes to be immersed in the gay or lesbian
subculture consuming its literature, art, and other forms of culture.

For some at this stage, the combination of anger and pride energizes the
person into action against perceived homophobia producing an activist.

STAGE 6: IDENTITY SYNTHESIS

The intense anger at heterosexuals -- the them and us attitude that may
be evident in stage 5 -- softens at this stage to reflect a recognition
that some heterosexuals are supportive and can be trusted. However,
those who are not supportive are further devalued. There remains some
anger at the ways that lesbians and gays are treated in this society,
but this is less intense. The person retains a deep sense of pride but
now comes to perceive less of a dichotomy between the heterosexual and
gay and lesbian communities. A lesbian or gay identity becomes an
integral and integrated aspect of the individual's complete personality
structure.

Eli Coleman proposes an additional model to chart the coming-out process
using five stages. Unlike the Troiden and Cass versions, this one
focuses, in its later stages, on the formation of romantic attachments:
[12]

STAGE 1: PRE-COMING OUT

At this stage, the individual is not conscious of same-sex feelings
because of the strong defenses built up to keep such unwanted
self-knowledge from reaching a conscious level. The person does feel,
however, somehow different from others but does not understand the
reasons for this.

STAGE 2: COMING OUT

At this stage the person comes to a conscious or semi-conscious
acknowledgment of having same-sex thoughts or fantasies. During this
period of great personal confusion, the person may disclose feelings to
one or a few trusted individuals for external validation. Some people
begin to make contacts with other individuals who identify as lesbian or
gay and may avoid telling close friends, who are presumably
heterosexual, and family members who may potentially reject them.

STAGE 3: EXPLORATION

During this stage, the person interacts more with other lesbians and/or
gay males and experiments with a new sexual identity. Here the
individual often develops improved interpersonal skills, which may
result in a more positive self-image. Many people with same-sex
orientations enter this period during adolescence. Many others who are
not afforded this opportunity during their teenage years because of the
social makeup of the culture, subsequently undergo a developmental lag.
Therefore, some gay and lesbian people do not enter their developmental
adolescence until years after their chronological adolescence.

STAGE 4: FIRST RELATIONSHIP

Following the period of sexual experimentation of Stage 3, the person
may desire a more stable and committed relationship, which combines
emotional and physical attraction. These relationships often do not last
because they are frequently entered into before the basic tasks of
coming-out and sexual exploration are completed.

STAGE 5: INTEGRATION

This stage, where the public and private identities merge into one
unified and integrated self-image, is ongoing and continuous and will
last for the rest of the person's life. Relationships are often
characterized by greater non-possessiveness, honesty, and mutual trust
and can be more successful than first relationships. The person is
better equipped to meet the problems and pressures of everyday life.

Young people are coming out of a closet of denial and fear at younger
ages than ever before, due in large part to the support systems
developed for and by them over recent years. The coming-out experience
for many people involves an interactive process between the individual
and her or his environment, beginning often with a general awareness of
being somehow different, through denial, tolerance, acceptance, and, in
may cases, to identity integration. As the person tells others of her or
his emerging sexual identity, parents, other family members, and peers
often enter a coming-to-terms process of their own.

Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) -- a national
support network -- has identified a developmental stage model charting
this process in its brochure, HOW TO COME OUT TO PARENTS. It must be
emphasized, however, that this model depicts general patterns, which may
not be applicable in all instances:

1. SHOCK: Sometimes this is the initial reaction, lasting anywhere from
a few minutes to many weeks. Not every parent or friend experiences
this, but many do, especially those who had no idea of the persons
emerging sexual identity

2. DENIAL: Denial is often a reaction people use to protect themselves
from something painful or frightening, and may be brief or last a long
time. There are many types of denial: hostility, rejection, not caring,
and refusing to register the information. Denial often is the result, in
part, of the persons assumption that homosexuality and bisexuality are
abnormal or sick, and/or by the persons assumption that the person
coming out is heterosexual.

3. GUILT: Since some parents and friends perceive homosexuality,
bisexuality, or transgenderism as problems, they may at some point blame
themselves, and may even ask themselves or others What did I do wrong?

4. FEELINGS EXPRESSED: At some point after the person comes out,
parents, other family members, or friends express their feelings,
sometimes anger or hurt. At times, what a friend, sibling, or parent may
say may seem mean, even cruel. The fact that they are expressing
feelings openly, however, means they are in some sense agreeing to stay
in relationship to the person coming out.

5. PERSONAL DECISION MAKING: Emotions will slow down with a degree of
rationality returning. The parent, other family member, or friend may
enter a period of retreat to consider this new information, and to deal
with their options. Several kinds of decisions are typical: a. constant
conflict with all issues about the person coming out, viewed as related
to the persons sexual orientation/identity, b. continuing to love and
care about the person coming out while making it clear they would rather
not discuss the topic of sexual orientation/identity any further, c.
continuing to love and care about the person coming out, and to learn
how to be actively supportive,

6. TRUE ACCEPTANCE: As c. above suggests, some parents, other family
members, and friends will reach the stage of continuing to love and care
about the person coming out, and understand that that persons uniqueness
includes her or his sexual orientation/identity. People at this stage
sometime speak out against the oppression lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender people face.


NOTES

[1] Crooks, Robert, and Baur, Karla, OUR SEXUALITY, Connie Spatz, ed.,
New York: Benjamin Cummings Publishing Company, 1990; and Bidwell, R.J.,
"The Gay and Lesbian Teen: A Case of Denied Adolescence," in JOURNAL OF
PEDIATRIC HEALTH CARE, 2 (1): 3-8, 1988.

[2] American Psychological Association, "Minutes of the Council of
Representatives," in AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGIST, 30:633, 1975.

[3] Sears, J. ATTITUDES, EXPERIENCES, AND FEELINGS OF GUIDANCE
COUNSELORS ABOUT WORKING WITH HOMOSEXUAL STUDENTS, Paper presented at
the American Educational Research Association, New Orleans, 1988. (ERIC
Document No. 296210).

[4] Sears, J., Personal Feelings and Professional Attitudes of
Prospective Teachers toward Homosexuality and Homosexual Students:
Research Findings and Curriculum Recommendations, Paper presented at the
American Educational Research Association, San Francisco. (ERIC Document
No. 312222)

[5] Dressler, J, "Survey of School Principals Regarding Alleged
Homosexual Teachers in the Classroom: How Likely (Really) is a
Discharge?, UNIVERSITY OF DAYTON LAW REVIEW, 10 (3): pp. 599-620, 1985;
Fisher, T., A STUDY OF EDUCATORS' ATTITUDES TOWARD HOMOSEXUALITY,
Doctoral Dissertation, University of Virginia, Charlottesville, 1982.
(Dissertation Abstracts International, 43, 10, 3294A); Griffin, P., From
Hiding Out to Coming Out: Empowering Lesbian and Gay Educators, JOURNAL
OF HOMOSEXUALITY, 22 (3/4): pp. 167-196, 1992; Price, J., High School
Students' Attitudes Toward Homosexuality, JOURNAL OF SCHOOL HEALTH, 52
(8): pp. 469-474, 1982; Sears, J., Educators, Homosexuality, and
Homosexual Students: Are Personal Feelings Related to Professional
Beliefs?, in COMING OUT OF THE CLASSROOM CLOSET, ed. K. Harbeck, New
York: Haworth Press, 39, 1992, Smith, D., AN ETHNOGRAPHIC INTERVIEW
STUDY OF HOMOSEXUAL TEACHERS' PERSPECTIVES, Doctoral Dissertation, State
University of New York, Albany, 1985. (Dissertation Abstracts
International, 46, 1,66A.)

[6] Some of the following material is reprinted from: Blumenfeld, Warren
J., & Raymond, Diane, LOOKING AT GAY AND LESBIAN LIFE, Boston: Beacon
Press, 1988, 1993.

[7] This list compiled by Arthur Lipkin, Harvard School of Education,
and Warren J. Blumenfeld, Social Justice Education Program, University
of Massachusetts - Amherst.

[8] Troiden, Richard R., THE FORMATION OF HOMOSEXUAL IDENTITIES, IN GAY
AND LESBIAN YOUTH, Gilbert Herdt (ed.), Harrington Park Press, 1989.

[9] Cass, Vivienne, Homosexual Identity Formation: A Theoretical Model,
JOURNAL OF HOMOSEXUALITY, New York: Hawthorn Press, (1979) 4.

[10] Lewis, Lou Ann, The Coming-Out Process for Lesbians: Integrating a
Stable Identity, JOURNAL OF THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF SOCIAL WORKERS,
(1984) 29:5.

[11] Pollak, M., Male Homosexuality, in WESTERN SEXUALITY, ed. P. Aries
and A. Bejin, New York: Blackwell, 1985, pp. 40-61.

[12] Coleman, Eli, Developmental Stages of the Coming Out Process,
JOURNAL OF HOMOSEXUALITY, New York: Hawthorn Press, (1981-2) 7(2/3).


CONTACT INFORMATION:

Warren J. Blumenfeld
PO Box 929
Northampton, MA 01061
Tel: (413) 585-9121
Fax: (413) 584-1332
E-Mail: blumenfeld@educ.umass.edu

..................................................................

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