Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 07:31:41 -0700 (PDT) From: Rex Wockner Subject: WOCKNER/BETTY DEGENERES INTERVIEW ----------------------------------------------------------- Copyright (c) 1999 Rex Wockner. All rights reserved. Do not publish, broadcast, or post online without first arranging affiliation with my news service. ----------------------------------------------------------- Interview with Betty DeGeneres (1,472 words) by Rex Wockner SAN DIEGO -- Actress Ellen DeGeneres' mom, Betty DeGeneres, has become one of America's most-well-known gay activists. She spoke with Rex Wockner as she prepared to serve as Grand Marshall of San Diego's July 24 pride parade. Rex: So you get to ride in a convertible and get a sunburn, I guess. Betty: I get to do that. I've already done that this summer twice, in Los Angeles and San Francisco. In L.A. I rode on a convertible and I was Mom of the Year. Then, in San Francisco, Mayor Willie Brown invited me to walk with him. So, we walked the whole parade, which was a really long parade route. Rex: You're kind of a surrogate mother for gays and lesbians out there whose parents didn't quite accept their sexual orientation, I guess. Betty: Didn't quite, that's putting it mildly -- kicked them out and -- yes, I'm mom to lots and lots and lots of people. Rex: Is that a good thing? Betty: It's good for me because I have a lot of love to give, but it's a very sad thing. There shouldn't be any parents who are rejecting. It's devastating. Rex: Let's talk about some of the reasons parents do that. What do you say to people who believe the Bible condemns gays? Betty: The Bible has been used through the centuries to justify any position you take. It's been used to justify slavery, it's been used to justify women not having the vote, and so now they've just focussed in on these Biblical laws from that time, and they can't see anything else, and they're forgetting all about judge not lest you be judged, and let him who is without sin -- even if you think it's a sin -- cast the first stone, and all of the loving things that Jesus said. Rex: And they ignore other things. The part of Leviticus that condemns men lying with men also condemns people who eat shellfish or wear clothes made of mixed fibers. Betty: And adulterers. It's an abomination to cut your beard a certain way. It makes no sense. This extreme right has gotten to be like the Puritans once again with burning people at the stake. The pendulum has to come back. Rex: You'll end up in a public debate with Jerry Falwell if you're not careful. Betty: Well, I hope not. I'd rather stay above that. They have their mindset which is quite pitiful, so I don't think that's my job. I'd rather just give my message of love. Rex: Other folks claim that homosexuality is "unnatural." Betty: I address this in my book. If you're heterosexual, then, yes, it's unnatural, because it's natural for us as heterosexuals to be attracted romantically to people of the opposite sex, but if you're homosexual, it's unnatural to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex. You're just not. So, we try to view the world from our standpoint only, and that can't be done. Rex: I read an interview somewhere that said you'd never seen Will & Grace. Have you seen it yet? Betty: In fact, last night I had the TV on just briefly and there it was. And so, I did look, and it was as cute as can be. The thing is, all I ever looked at was Ellen; I don't look at sitcoms. So I look at Ellen's reruns. Rex: My husband wants to know if you're related to Vance DeGeneres on The Daily Show? Betty: Oh, please, that's Ellen's older brother, that's my son. This week's People magazine has a nice article about him and a nice picture of him. In fact, a picture of Ellen and Vance and I together, and they cut out Anne -- I don't know why they cropped her out. It really wasn't a becoming picture of her and maybe that's why. At least she's in the magazine, in toward the back with some cute outfit she was wearing. Rex: Let me ask you about a couple of hot-button issues. What's your position on gay marriage, marriage itself? Betty: Absolutely it has to happen. Absolutely. I've met couples who've been together for 54 years, 35 years, everything in between, and they have no legal rights. This nonsense that they have to have a Defense of Marriage Act, this is ridiculous. Defense against what? The divorce rate is 50 percent or something. To me, I don't care what they want to call this. If they have a problem calling it marriage, call it a legal commitment, but it certainly should be in place. For the churches to be so against it -- they don't have to marry people of the same sex. If they don't want to perform those ceremonies, nobody is going to make them do that. Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to be a long time in coming. And you know about horrible [state Sen.] Pete Knight here in California [sponsor of a ballot proposition to ban gay marriage]. Rex: And his son is openly gay, that's the best part. Betty: I know. That's pure hate. Rex: You need to chat with Pete one-on-one. He needs to hear your message. Betty: Do you think it would help? Rex: It cannot be a coincidence that the biggest gay-basher in the California legislature has an openly gay son. Betty: Yes, very sad. He needs a lot of help. But he's obviously just so, so -- I don't know what they do -- they're brainwashed, their hearts are hardened. Rex: How about gays in the military, is that a good idea? Betty: Well, of course it is. All through history gay men have been in the military and served with honor. I think "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a horrendous mistake. I talked to one man who is a captain and lives in fear every day that someone will find out he's gay before he's served his whole time and retired. And that's a terrible thing. Rex: Of all the people you've met in your gay work, is there anybody who has really inspired you? Betty: Right off the bat, I'd have to say Ellen and Anne. Rex: You're biased. Betty: I'm completely biased and prejudiced. But I believe anybody who really knows them would say the same thing. Anne is the most honest, truthful person you'll ever, ever meet. You don't get any nonsense from her. And Ellen is brave and courageous and honest. So I just am in awe of both of them, and honored to be their mom. Rex: A lot of people were surprised by Anne's story that she hadn't ever thought about being a lesbian till she saw your daughter across a crowded room. Betty: That's true. Rex: It's a funny kind of way to realize that you're gay, isn't it? Betty: Since then I've heard a number of stories of people who found out they were gay the exact same way. ... This is the way that it happens for some people. You meet that one person that's meant to be with you. Rex: Do you think it could happen to you? Betty: Could I be gay if I met the right person? In my book, I have a question-and-answer chapter, and I ask that old question, can gays be recruited? And I said no, because if you could, I'd sign up. Because I have so many dear friends now who are gay. But I am hopelessly heterosexual. Rex: But Anne was hopelessly heterosexual too. Betty: Who knows! I have learned in my life never to say never. Rex: One final question. There's always a big controversy every year at pride time on whether pride should be about showing the heterosexual community how "normal" we all are, or whether it should be a big Mardi Gras sort of day with all the drag queens and leathermen and the disco boys on the floats and such. The gay papers are always full of letters to the editor back and forth every year. Betty: I think gay pride parades are an opportunity for celebration, and we don't all want to celebrate in the exact same way. Those who are more flamboyant and come out in all their feathers and scanty outfits and whatever, quite naturally the newspapers take pictures of them. In the San Francisco parade there were people marching with their dogs ... and they had the P-FLAG parents. Well, they didn't get their pictures on the front of the paper. That's just the way it is. I don't believe in saying, "Don't you dare look like that, don't do that." If that's what they want to do the one day of the year, that's what they do. Rex: So Mardi Gras is fine with you. Betty: Well, I'm from New Orleans so Mardi Gras has always been fine. -end-