From: vedwards@emr.ca (Victoria Edwards) Date: Fri, 9 Sep 1994 13:10:11 -0400 (EDT) Women & Aids You may have noticed that AIDS educators make it sound so easy to start using condoms. Well, it not. Using condoms is not the hard part. Sex using condoms can be great sex. It the starting that the hard part. The good news is that more & more people are bringing condoms into their sex lives. being ready Your partner may be informed and ready to practice safer sex. He may just be embarrassed and waiting for you to bring it up getting ready Other men still believe false information about AIDS. If your partner doesn yet understand that AIDS is his problem, your problem and everyone problem, he may not be willing to use condoms. You may have to teach him about AIDS, so it a good idea to be prepared. safer is sexy Condoms don ruin the mood. Worrying about AIDS does. people everywhere are using condoms If your partner believes only certain people get AIDS, he may think you are accusing him of being something he isn. If you or your partner are in groups that have been blamed for AIDS, he may think using condoms supports people prejudices. We know that there are people within all communities using condoms. Find the community and church leaders who have come to terms with AIDS, and who will support you in using condoms. pregnancy We have to add AIDS to the list of things we think about when we plan to have children and when wee pregnant. Remember two basic facts: *preventing AIDS doesn mean you can have children *if you have AIDS it doesn mean you will automatically pass it on to your child. Between 50-75% of babies born to women with AIDS don develop the virus. Safer sex with a male partner means that he must wear a latex condom for vaginal and anal intercourse. Putting a little lube on the tip of the condom will make it feel good for him; lube on the outside of the condom feel good for you. Use only lube like KY or Muko and Astroglide. what about love? what about trust? You may have heard that insisting a man wears a condom means you don trust, love or want to get really close to him. Wee heard those things in our own lives, and for us, love, trust and sexiness mean listening to each other. Remember: it okay if you or your partner have difficulty getting used to condoms. Keep working on it, and start using condoms as soon as possible. It not okay if he uses your concern about AIDS to hurt you. It is never okay if he hurts you. If he: *hits or pushes you *insults or humiliates you *forces you to have sex when you don want to, or in ways you don like Then safety from AIDS might not be your most urgent need, but safety from him might be. If you need more information and support about using condoms, getting tested, pregnancy, or how to care for yourself or for someone else who has contracted HIV call your local AIDS committee or a knowledgeable health care worker. because women are living with AIDS Women Project c/o The AIDS Committee of Ottawa 207 Queen St. 4th floor Ottawa, Ont K1P 6E5 (613)238-5014