Date: Thu, 10 Feb 1994 02:26:33 -0800 (PST) From: Tom Freeman Subject: With Understand Comes Fairness. Hi, my friend Curt gave this to me, and I thought I'd send it over gaynet. Curt and Richard got a grant from a progressive fund to produce it. -Tom Freeman (still wanting lots of messages from Cher fans and, okay, I'm coming out - Another World fans... Geez, I'm sick!). This item by the Washington Freedom Coalition Curt Pavola and Richard Kirt on phone: (206) 943-4662 With Understanding Comes Fairness copyright: Washington Freedom Coalition: December 1993 Gay men, lesbians and bisexual women and men (affectional minorities) are very much in the news these days. In letters to the editor, opinion columns, television and radio talk shows, and speeches delivered from the political lectern or the pulpit, society is expressing opinions about "us." Very often, we can't recognize ourselves or our friends in the pictures painted by some of the most vocal speakers and social/political groups. In this pamphlet, we'd like to tell you who we are. We hope this pamphlet might serve as a surrogate gay friend, offering a conversation about our nature, our life experiences, and our social issues. More information is available from the organizations listed in the resources section and, of course, from the lesbians, gays and bisexuals in your life. As affectional minorities face the attack(s) on our civil liberties in 1994 from sponsors of the expected discriminatory "initiative to the people," we offer this brief summary to counter the slanted, very often disgusting images of us painted by our attackers. With understanding comes fairness. Who We Are Affectional minorities cannot be viewed separate from the broader community. A popular slogan among us is "we are everywhere." We are union members, professionals, and unemployed; sons, nieces, cousins, brothers, mothers, and grandparents; Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, and Independents; Christians, Buddhists, Jews, and atheists; People of Color and Anglos--people of every conceivable class and creed. Lesbians, gay men, and bisexauls have always been a part of the human family. Our history is not well documented as is the case for most minority social groups, but affectional minorities can be found in the histories of Eqypt, Greece, Sumeria, China, Rome, Native America and other cultures. Throughout the centuries, homosexuals have been viewed by the various cultures with a wide range of acceptance, from outright condemnation to celebrations of gay and lesbian rulers and heroes, as well as respect for the contributions we have made to our communities and societies. Western cultures generally have condemned homosexuality. Social intolerance has resulted in the targeting of affectional minorities during the Spanish Inquisition; the establishment of the death penalty for homosexuals in England during the 1500's and the sentencing of gay men and lesbians to concentration camps in Nazi Germany. Despite this treatment, a number of gays and lesbians have contributed prominently to society, such as authors James Baldwin, Truman Capote, Willa Cather, Noel Coward, Langston Hughes, Gertrude Stein, and Tennessee Williams; composers Leonard Bernstein, Benjamin Britten, and Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky; artist Michelangelo, Rosa Bonheur and Andy Warhol; and such notables as Alexander the Great, King Edward the II of England, United Nations Secretary Dag Hammarskjold, John Maynard Keynes, J. Edgar Hoover, and several popes, most notably Julius III. What has set us apart throughout modern history is a narrow interpretation of who we are based on sexual acts. Prejudice, or an obsession with our differentness, has encouraged some people to define us based on this one characteristic, often without seeking accurate information. This, however, is changing. Denmark, France, Norway, Sweden, Israel and some parts of Canada, Australia, and the United States have outlawed discrimination in housing and employment based on affectional/sexual orientation - a first step to ending bans on openly lesbian and gay people serving in the military. And, in 1989, Denmark became the first country to grant full civil rights to bisexual, lesbian, and gay people when it legalized same-sex marriage. Though attitudes towards us are beginning to change as we speak more openly about our lives, the effects of misunderstanding, and especially of social intolerance, are profound. Social circumstances force homosexual and bisexual people to live every day with questions heterosexuals rarely, if ever, have to ask themselves. Will I lose my job or apartment if people know I'm gay? Is it physically safe to show my affection for my date or partner in this public place? When I tell my family and friends who I love, will they accept me for the full human person that I am? The effects of this stigmatizing are seen most clearly among gay youths, who often discover their own affectional orientation at the same time they learn homophobic social attitudes. The cost--to themselves, their families, and to society can be high. Statistics reveal that as many as 30 percent of youth suicides are motivated by questions of affectional orientation. As we grow older, most of us find ways to tolerate inhospitable attitudes, and discover people - gay and straight - who feel accepting toward us.=20 Depending on our own circumstances, we may or may not feel safe in talking openly about our lives. Some of us are moved by our experiences to publicly celebrate gay pride, to take part in educating people in our neighborhoods and workplaces, to work for laws which protect lesbians, gays and bisexuals from the effects of discrimination. Others of us feel most comfortable remaining private, keeping silent about our romantic attraction, except perhaps with the gay and lesbian communities. Look for the gay men, lesbians and bisexuals in your life and you'll see that we have the same diversity of dreams, hopes and desires as the heterosexuals you know. You'll find we are individuals who do not necessarily represent the stereotypes we've all heard. What We Want What do lesbians, gay men and bisexuals want? To walk down the street without fear of attack. To be served hospitably in public accomodations, such as restaurants, hotels and other businesses. To rent or buy housing for ourselves and our families. To obtain health care coverage for ourselves and our partners. To be judged in our jobs based on the merits of our work. In short, we want what heterosexuals see as inherent human rights, the freedom to live and love. Some of us have turned to politics as a way to protect our rights. Regardless of where we stand on the political spectrum, the one issue that brings us together is that we are targets of discrimination. While many groups within our society historically have been targets of discrimination (such as racial and ethnic minorities, women and religious groups) and have received guarantees of civil rights protections at all levels of government, gay men, lesbians and bisexuals continue to be denied equal protections. Throughout the United Statesm same-gender partners are denied legal and economic benefits equal to those enjoyed by heterosexual couples, such as joint property rights, inheritance rights, tax benefits, medical insurance, bereavement leave, parental leave, child custody and social security benefits. Only a few states have passed laws attempting to protect gay people from discrimination in employment, housing or public accomodations. While over 100 local governments throughout the nation have passed anti-discrimination laws for affectional minorities, opponents of such laws have become increasingly vocal. A few local ordinances providing equal legal status for affectional minorities have been overturned because opponents were successful in creating the image that laws providing guarantees of equal rights were somehow granting "special rights" that are not enjoyed by heterosexuals. Elsewhere, local ordinances have been upheld where information about legal inequalities was broadly distributed and understood by voters. Simply stated, gay men and lesbians want the same -- equal rights enjoyed by heterosexuals; nothing more, but nothing less. We don't want the constitutions of our country of the State of Washington interpreted to grant any group "special" or extra rights and privileges. Likewise, we don' twant to see the intent of our constitutions subverted by defining any class of people as not worthy of equal constitutional protection.=20 Some would legally label us "second clas citizen" using the initiative process to do it. If they were to succeed in doing this to affectional minorities, what group might be next? Understanding Human Sexuality Human sexuality is a complex subject, with many unknowns about the natural path of emotional development. What is known is that our loving emotions, sexual attraction, and the diversity in the ways we individually act on our emotions are the same for all affectional orientations (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual). Loving and sexual emotions run the gamut from completely opposite-gender affection and sexual attraction, to roughly equal attraction to both genders, to totally same-gender emotional and sexual attraction. You may hear claims that gay and bisexual people "choose" our orientation, and that we can change if we want to. Of course, this begs the question: Is this claim true for heterosexuals as well? Clearly every person who chooses who we date and how we interact sexually with others, but no one chooses what we feel. Sexual and loving emotions develop naturally within each of us - gay, straight, or bisexual - and we each respond to nature's gift as individuals. While attempts to quantify the number of heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals are intriguing, they generally reflect the bias of the group chosen for interviewing ("sampling error"), the tone and content of the questions asked by interviewers, and the comfort level of the people being interviewed. That's why no conclusive study has been performed and the estimated numbers of gay people range from one percent of the population (arguably too low) to 10 percent of the population (arguably too high), with bisexuals adding an additional five to ten percent. Also, nearly every study focuses exclusively on sexual behavior instead of emotions, which excludes people who consider themselves to be homosexual or bisexual but who have not had sexual relations within the survey period (or ever) The important point to remember is that gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are born and live everywhere, just like heterosexuals. Playing the numbers game is merely a distraction from addressing the real issues of fairness and justice in our society. If one person is denied housing, a job or service in a public place simply because of who they are, it is a concern to all of us in a free society. Simply put, gay people share intimate relations with individuals who we are emotionally and physically attracted to, just like heterosexuals do.=20 Living in harmony with one's nature is the healthy thing to do. Allowing everyone to live according to their nature is the socially just thing to do= . ryone to live according to their nature is the socially just thing to do= Religious Issues The subjects of sex and religion historically have been fraught with contentiousness that continues today in nearly all religions. As one way to understand the evolving nature of some religious practices, let's first look at the roles that many religions historically have prescribed for men and women. Many religions worldwide have sought to delineate roles between men and women -- sometimes declaring women worthy only of serving me in all manner of practices, such as homemaking, appearances in public, and their duties in procreation and child rearing. Very early in life, boys and girls are instructed in the cultural and religious roles for men and women, which often have been presented as divine origin. For centuries, some religions have deemed that the laws of nature make the roles of the sexes unchangeable. As times have changed, women have questioned traditional gender roles and challenged men's proclaimed superiority and domination over women. Recent women's movements worldwide (such as the turn-of-the-century American suffragette movement and the more recent feminist movement) are redefining the acceptable social roles for women, not only in society but within the religions represented in society. In light of this gender-role framework, we can see that some of the major religions, particularly Judaism, Islam and Christianity. have demeaned same-sex relationships by mistakenly declaring them out of the "natural" boundaries of sexuality. Often, males are targeted more than females due to the fact that male homosexuality appears to challenge the male gender role more directly. That is, men have blurred more severly the line between the sexes. But all homosexuality often has been perceived as "sinful." Whether or not we are a member of a religion that holds fast to "traditional" values and social roles, as part of society we cannot escape pronouncements about gender roles and sexuality, including statements decrying intimate sharing between homosexuals. The difficulty, then, for people with more open attitudes toward sexuality is to balance their religion's pronouncements about sex with the many other religious tenets regarding human interaction. For example, all major religions have strong admonishments to treat others humanely and with understanding. Nowhere do these religions say that people in same-sex relationships should have less privileges than others within that society. In light of the fact that most religions professed stronger injunctions against female liberty than homosexuals, yet women have made strong inroads toward challenging even specific wordings of religious texts (such as "women should be silent") hope exists for people of all faiths who would like to see religious doctrine support the dignity and humanity of all. Today, most theologians declare the pronouncements against women's freedoms to be historical and therefore not an impediment to the ordination of women or the enjoyment by women of full and active participation in the religion. In the same way, invectives against some sexual conduct are being viewed as historical and sociological judgements and therefore not an impediment to full participation in the religion or society. Perhaps more importantly, differing affectional orientations are being seen less and less as an inherently "sinful" nature that would limit full participation within organized religious life. What You Can Do The most important thing any heterosexual person can do during the 1994 initiative attack on the civil rights of gays, lesbians and bisexuals in our state is to get involved. Call the state office of the Washington Citizens for Fairness: Hands Off Washington and get connected with your local chapter. Secondly, create a safe atmosphere for the affectional minorities in your life. While the initiative process is a civil attack, the rhetoric and anger of this campaign will be a very personal attack on every gay person in this state. If you feel you need more information that this short pamphlet provides before you get involved, please check out any of the resources listed below. And please share this information with others you know could benefit from it. Finally, look into the arguments that support the anti-gay campaigns very carefully. We think you'll discover fear, and even hate, behind their veil of love and even-handedness. Beware of slogans, such as "special rights," that have no practical, legal meaning, but which lead people to incorrectly assume that affectional minorities are seeking something more than the guarantee of basic civil rights promised to all under our state and federal constitutions. Resources Pamphlets Why is my Child Gay? PFLAG Is Homosexuality a Sin? PFLAG Read This Before Coming Out to Your Parents PFLAG Books Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life, Warren J. Blumfeld and Diane Raymond, updated and expanded edition; Beacon press, 1993. The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex: What you Must Know to be Sexually Literate, June M. Reinisch, PhD, with Ruth Beasley, MLS; St. Martin's Press, 1990. When Someone You Know is Gay, Susan and Daniel Cohen; Dell Publishing. 1989. Videos Parting Glances Longtime Companion The Times of Harvey Milk Changing our Minds: The Story of Dr. Evelyn Hooker Mail order: Marching for Freedom: The 1993 March on Washington Vid0 $29.95 including postage from Project 1993, 2020 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington DC 20006 1-800-993-1993 Prelude to Victory (a look at the 1993 March on Washington) $23.93 including postage from Girard Video, Inc. 1331 F Street NW, Suite 250, Washington, DC 20004; 1-800-800-8254 Organizations Washington Citizens for Fairness: Hands Off Washington PO Box 4828 Seattle, WA 98104 (206) 233-1932 The lead organization opposing anti-civil rights initiatives Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 1012 14th Street, NW Suite 700 Washington, DC 20005 An international educational and support organization, with several local chapters in Washington State. The Privacy Fund 1202 East Pike, Suite 816 Seattle, WA 98122 (206) 292-2486 A lesbian and gay political action committee for human rights. Additional pamphlets: Washington Freedom Coalition PO Box 7703 Olympia, WA 98507-7703 (206) 943-4662 Additional copies of this pamphlet are available for $1 each, including postage. Orders of 10 or more are 75 cents each, including postage *********************************************************************** Note: If you have comments on this document, please send them to the Freedom Coalition, or you can e-mail them to me and I will forward your comments to Curt Pavola. I encourage critical assessment of the information in this pamphlet and suggestions for revision or improvement. With Love and Understanding, Tom Freeman