From: communications@pflag.org Date: Fri, 12 Jul 1996 13:45:53 -0400 Subject: Action Alert! Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) July 12, 1996 ACTION ALERT -- KILL DOMA Yesterday, PFLAG President Mitzi Henderson testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee against the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which would, for the first time, define marriage at the federal level. This new definition would restrict marriage to include only heterosexual couples. At the hearing, ranking minority member Senator Kennedy (D-MA) did an extraordinary job arguing against the bill. He highlighted the divisive nature of the bill and the need for basic civil rights protections for gay and lesbian people. While Senator Kennedy does not support DOMA, he will lead efforts to attach the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) as an amendment to the bill. ENDA is ground-breaking civil rights legislation that would provide federal protection against job discrimination based on sexual orientation. Please thank Senator Kennedy and Senator Simon (D-IL) for their continued support of the gay, lesbian and bisexual community and their leadership role in advocating for tolerance. Please also thank Senator Diane Feinstein for her insightful comments during the hearing. Although Senator Feinstein has not yet decided how she will vote on DOMA she expressed great concern about the divisive nature of the bill. She also expressed support for attaching ENDA as an amendment. Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA): senator@kennedy.senate.gov Senator Paul Simon (D-IL): senator@simon.senate.gov Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA): senator@feinstein.senate.gov Following is Mitzi Henderson's testimony. Please distribute it widely and join us in opposing this discriminatory piece of legislation. For more information, contact Zoe Hudson at ZHudson@pflag.org *********************************************************** Testimony Of Mitzi Henderson National President Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee The Honorable Orrin Hatch, Chairman "The Defense Of Marriage Act" July 11, 1996 Thank you Mr. Chairman and members of the committee for the opportunity to address you this morning about the "Defense of Marriage Act." My name is Mitzi Henderson and I am here as the President of the national family organization Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. We profoundly oppose this legislation. This bill is meanspirited: it targets a group of people for discrimination, and sets up a debate that misrepresents a community already under attack. This bill is unnecessary: it is an attempt at a solution to a problem that does not exist. My marriage does not need to be defended. My husband and I do not need your help to continue to cherish one another, and to respect our vows of more than forty years. What my family needs is a more tolerant America. We can recognize our differences about the right to marry for gay and lesbian Americans and still oppose this legislation -- because we share a commitment to tolerance. We cannot now give up on a shared commitment to improving the lives of Americans, and strengthening American families. All across this country, Americans are on a journey. Families, religious communities, and leaders are ending our silence about homosexuality. Many people are misinformed, or uninformed about homosexuality. And as a result there is understandably a sense of unease, discomfort, and even fear. I understand that confusion and fear. Before my son came out to me 18 years ago, I had no information to help me to think positively about his future life as a gay man. I struggled as a parent, and as a religious woman. But I never gave up on my faith, and I never gave up on my family. Today I am an Elder in the Presbyterian Church, the proud mother of four and grandmother of seven. As a mother and grandmother, I appreciate honest attempts to strengthen the American family, but lets not cheapen those concerns by pretending that this bill helps families. In fact, with this legislation, you will add another challenge to my job as a parent. I am forced to worry about my gay son in a way that I do not worry about my other children. Allow me to illustrate. Almost two years ago our son, Jamie, fell ill and lost consciousness. His partner rushed him to the hospital -- but there was a problem. Although they have been a couple for nine years, Ray was unable to give permission for treatment. By federal and state law they are no more than strangers to each other. In health care every moment counts. If Ray was legally married to my son, time would not have been lost. Time in which my son's condition worsened. Health care concerns are one reason why I am in favor of same-gender marriage. But I am not asking you to take up that question. In my lifetime we may never agree on how we understand God's love or human nature. I hope that right now, we can agree that at a minimum, we need to practice tolerance for all of our families. To do any less is to sanction a hate that erodes the very family values you seek to protect. I fear for Jamie -- not because of who he is, but because I know the price of that intolerance. In 1994 more than 4,000 people were physically assaulted in nine cities because they are gay or lesbian. I live with that fear. In all but nine states, my son can be fired from his job simply because he is gay. I live with that fear. I wish I could have taken you with me for the last eighteen years as I've grown and learned. I wish you could see how my family is stronger for our journey. We can give more to our church, to each other, and to our country than we ever thought possible because we dared to grow. I would not let stereotypes destroy my family. And I will not let stereotypes continue to threaten my son's life. You who know and work with gay and lesbian persons also know that the stereotypes are false. Most of you know that gay and lesbian people are your constituents, your staffers, your family and your friends. It is this community -- your colleagues, families, and friends -- whose lives you are now considering. The voters look to you in Congress to resolve serious problems with the budget, health care, welfare and the important issues that only you can deal with. We come to you today with a simple message: do not engage in politics that divide the American family. You can not defend marriage by attacking our sons and daughters. Thank you.