From: RachelMill@aol.com Date: Tue, 25 Feb 1997 22:46:29 -0500 (EST) Subject: Our Gender Family OUR GENDER FAMILY #4 - MARCH, 1997 by Rachel Miller Everyone Can Play In Our Super Bowl I grew up in Wisconsin and have been an avid fan of the Green Bay Packers through years of good and bad times. In January I attended the Super Bowl in New Orleans with my brothers - the greatest sports experience of my life. Because of the enormous interest, the closest flight home was from Houston so I had a 350 mile drive after the game to reflect on what had just happened. The Packer fans had major differences in age, finances and social status but they weren't important enough to matter. We set them aside because we had a common objective - to cheer our team on to victory. I realize that professional football isn't the gender community but the same principles can apply. What if...we lived in a society where it was impossible to distinguish men from women based solely on their clothing, makeup or behavior...where no gender judgments were attached to dresses or pants...where terms like transgendered, transsexual and transvestite became unimportant...where stereotypes associated with being bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual stopped being an issue. What if...that open society actually existed...? Can't the achievement of that society be a common objective for all of us who are transgendered? How much should it matter to us if we are transvestite or transsexual, male or female, gay or lesbian? While those are real differences can't we set them aside? Isn't it more important to achieve something together? If a bunch of cheeseheads (remember I am one) can do it, why can't we? There is a powerful system called "OGSMs" where the "O" stands for Objectives. It is used by major corporations to obtain alignment on common company objectives regardless of the differences between divisions and departments. An objective is a visionary condition extending perhaps 10 years into the future that describes where the organization wants to be. It helps to set annual Goals and deploy Strategies that lead to success. It helps to select the most effective efforts, implement them effectively and Measure the results. With that in mind, here is my proposal for our shared objective - The gender family is understood by and accepted into mainstream society We need to commit to the objective and that requires dialog, so...what are your thoughts? Will you support the objective as written? Do you have any changes or upgrades? Will you get others involved? Will you recommend it to your organization? If you can't support it, what would have to change so you will support it? In President Clinton's inaugural address he said that divisions and differences had to give way to a "new spirit of community." We need the same spirit and need to communicate so let's all start talking... "We are not fighting for integration, nor are we fighting for separation. We are fighting for recognition as human beings. We are fighting for...human rights." Malcolm X ========================================================== The Principle of Integration I believe there are three levels at which we benefit from integration rather than separation, and this principle is the core of all my messages - 1. Many of us have split our lives into distinct gender compartments and we would be healthier if we became complete persons. 2. Our community exists outside of the mainstream, and we would gain greater freedom to be ourselves if we became an integral part of society. 3. Individuals and organizations often act independently, and we would achieve more if we cooperated on shared objectives. Notes My web site - http://members.aol.com/RachelMill/index.htm contains the gender family letters plus articles that were published in "The Femme Mirror." A major personal event occurred last month when I shared my cross-dressing story with my boss. Given the current attitudes in corporate America this initial sharing with management was a huge step for our family. My boss was pleased that I trusted him enough to share it with him and that I was comfortable with the situation. He was relieved that I had kept it separate from my work performance and went on to say that it wouldn't make any difference in our relationship. One more step on a long and winding road... Another noteworthy event was my first experience speaking with a college class. Sandra Brewer of ETVC in San Francisco and I met with a graduate class in human sexuality at San Jose State University. These students are planning careers as therapists and have the potential of being great assets for our family. Sandra represented the transsexual view and I the transvestite view. There was an incredibly open and diverse discussion that led to considerable insight. Many commented that we brought realism, understanding and compassion to the subject. I highly recommend this type of event for anyone willing and able to share our story. You can have a profoundly positive impact on how we are perceived by society. My wife Marsha and I are on the programs at the Texas T Party and California Unity. I will do a reading/signing on Saturday, March 22nd at 7:00 PM at The Open Book Ltd., 910 21st Street, Sacramento, CA 95814. Phone (916) 498-1004. Home page - http://www.openbookltd.com. Stop in and say hello. Tell your friends too. My book "The Bliss of Becoming One!" is available on-line from Amazon.com, IFGE, PM Publishers, bookstores (ask for ISBN 1-56825-031-2), by credit card at 1-800-356-9315 and by check/money order for $15.95 postpaid from Rainbow Books, Inc. PO Box 430, Highland City, FL 33846-0430. Marsha and I are available for appearances. You can contact us at Opportunities for Improvement, PO Box 31475, Oakland, CA 94604, (510) 935-9594. This bimonthly Email letter is available at no charge so pass it on to anyone who may be interested. To receive it directly, send an Email to RachelMill@aol.com. Any part may be reprinted provided the source is credited.