Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 18:56:33 -0400 From: Chris Ambidge Subject: *Integrator* files for 1989 INTEGRATOR, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto volume 89-2, issue date 1989 02 08 copyright 1989 Integrity/Toronto. The hard-copy version of this newsletter carries the ISSN 0843-574X Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9 == Contents == [89-2-1] LIZARD LINES / by Bonnie Bewley [89-2-2] REFLECTING ON AIDS: Ministry to PLWAs in Toronto Diocese by Bonnie Bewley [89-2-3] GIRAFFES ABOUT TOWN [89-2-4] AN ASH WEDNESDAY REFLECTION ===== [89-2-1] LIZARD LINES by Bonnie Bewley Integrity/Toronto has more than tripled it's membership since last year. We would like to thank all of those who have sent in their memberships. To those of you who haven't yet, it isn't too late *hint hint*. We are always glad to get more members. This newsletter has a lot to do with this growth in our numbers. We are committed to producing the best newsletter we can but to do this we need your help. We invite contributions and helpful comments. Write letters to the editor, send in articles you have found interesting, write articles or poetry, draw us a graphic or send in one you have found. We really would appreciate any help you can give us! ======== [89-2-2] REFLECTING ON AIDS: Ministry to PLWAs in Toronto Diocese by Bonnie Bewley On the morning of Saturday December 10, a group of about 30 people gathered at the Toronto Anglican Diocesan Centre for *A Reflection Day on AIDS* sponsored by the College of Bishops' Taskforce on AIDS. The group was led by Kathy Horton, the Downtown Churchworkers Association's AIDS outreach worker, and by Steve Hopkins, Diocesan Programme Consultant. The new bishop of Toronto, Terry Finlay was there, joined by a number of people, clerical and lay, Anglican and otherwise, who for various reasons cared about the church's response to AIDS and to people living with AIDS. I was one of five Integrity/Toronto members present. After we had introduced ourselves around the circle, we prayed together. These prayers tried to put AIDS in a global perspective, helping us to see that it is not just a Gay and North American problem. The prayers brought home the message that AIDS is claiming lives all over the world and is hitting especially hard the poor and culturally disadvantaged. PLWAs really are today's lepers, and it is clear from scripture how Jesus felt lepers should be treated. We then broke up into groups of three or four to discuss our personal ministries with people affected by HIV infection, and how we had experienced God's grace (or the absence of grace) in those instances. I had the good fortune to be in a group with a mother of a PLWA, who graciously shared her experiences ministering to her son. It was very clear to all of us in our group that the only way to change people's attitudes about AIDS and PLWAs is to let as many people as possible come into contact with PLWAs and to hear their stories first hand. It is only when this happens that people will start to deal with the real people and the real problems rather than hiding behind stereotypes and unreasoning panic. The whole group once more gathered together to share the conclusions of the small groups and to have lunch. We then divided into two groups: one discussed developing and expanding ministries related to AIDS, and the other explored ways of creating openness within the church. The first group, which dealt with practical matters, was mostly made up of the hospital chaplains. I was in the second group, where we once again focused on the idea of telling our stories and listening to the stories of others. We recognised the importance of creating a safe place in which people could talk this way. We also discussed the inseparability of the discussion of AIDS and of sexuality. Part of the reason people are leery of admitting any connection with AIDS is because if they do they end up in the middle of a hostile discussion of homosexuality with AIDS frequently being cited as God's punishment of this horrendous crime. The day closed, as it began, with prayer for those infected and those affected by HIV. The naming of persons or groups was accompanied by the lighting of candles. One candle was left unlit, for those persons and situations for whom candles cannot yet be lit. We went away from the circle empowered by the sharing: the instances of grace in this crisis that we had found; the ways of ministering to PLWAs, and the ways that we can go about addressing the AIDS problem among the worried well, in and outside the church. AIDS is in the body of Christ. As the button says, Our Church Has AIDS. Let us all pray for God's special grace on PLWAs and on those who minister to them. ======== [89-2-3] GIRAFFES ABOUT TOWN If you see a giraffe once a year at the zoo, it remains a strange, exotic creature. If you see a giraffe every week, it becomes part if the background. -- *We are all giraffes.* o Bishop Terry Finlay was the celebrant for Integrity/Toronto on the evening of January 11th, a mere five days after his installation as the Diocesan Bishop of Toronto. We were very pleased that he chose to join us at what must be a very busy time for him. After the service Integrity/Toronto presented Bishop Finlay with a rainbow ribbon to wear in solidarity with all those infected or affected by AIDS, and with a tasteful pink triangle. After the presentation we all were able to chat more informally over a glass of sherry (how very Anglican) or juice. Our Bishop's presence and his interest were reassuring. It is very comforting to know that, unlike our Australian brothers and sisters, we are welcome members of our church. o As the lack of change in masthead indicates, last years executive was returned to office at the Annual General Meeting on January 18th. We had a very encouraging report from Chris Ambidge, one of the co- coveners, on Integrity/ Toronto's activities of the last year. We met 53 times and saw 99 different faces in the course of the year, not including the 40 people at the Interchurch carol service we hosted. It is also interesting that 57 of these people had not been seen at an Integrity/ Toronto event before. Chris also highlighted for us our presence at Pride Day, the increased and ongoing activities of our members in committees and consultations, both at the diocesan and national church level. We were also very pleased that The Integrator has once again begun to publish. Last years financial statements were reviewed and a new budget passed with little discussion. This was followed by a report by Bonnie Bewley, the other co-convenor, on what we expect Integrity/Toronto to be doing in the upcoming year. This report was broken down by our three ministries. Under Ministry 1, to ourselves, we will continue to meet every Wednesday, and we will be giving support and seed money to Canadian Integrity chapters in formation. Under Ministry 2, to the Church, we will be sending representatives to General Synod in St John's this summer. We will continue to invite clergy to celebrate for us so that they get a chance to know us. For 1989, the list of celebrants will include Bishop Finlay and The Primate, the Most Rev. Michael Peers. Our members will also be continuing their involvement on numerous Anglican Church committees, taskforces, working groups... Under Ministry 3, to the lesbian/gay community at large, we will once again have a booth at Pride Day. We hope to be part of a gay/lesbian Christian phone-line which is being looked into at the moment. We also intend to increase our visibility with different kinds of advertising. Along with all of this, and really falling under all three ministries, we will be publishing ten more issues of *The Integrator. * o On Tuesday January 24th (within the week of prayer for Christian Unity), Dignity hosted a meeting for those interested in reviving the gay/lesbian Interchurch group. People representing Dignity, Covenant Circle, Integrity, Lutherans Concerned, SAGA, and MCC Christos all agreed that the time is ripe for us to come together again. We can all celebrate and draw strength from the presence of each group within the various denominations, labourers in various parts of God's vineyard. A lesbian/gay Christian phone line and an Interchurch educational event were discussed. We decided that we want to come together at least four times a year for both worship and for a social time together. The first such event of 1989 was tentatively scheduled for mid-April hosted by St Andrew's Gay Association -- watch The Integrator for further details. ===== [89-2-4] AN ASH WEDNESDAY REFLECTION [This meditation was presented to Integrity/Toronto last year. The author has given us permission to print it for wider circulation in the Integrity family. We hope that it will assist your Lenten meditations.] Ash Wednesday holds many pitfalls for us who are gay or lesbian -- namely, having a wrong idea of the sins we are to be penitent for, accepting the world's view of what is sinful and what is not, perhaps totally missing our *real* sins and refusing to celebrate the good things that need to be celebrated. We are human beings; like everyone else, we are sometimes sinful. In this season of Lent, we try to see our sins as God sees them and, with the grace of God, move beyond them What are some of the sins that we as lesbians or gays are particularly prone to? How do we move away from them? I will venture a few suggestions though perhaps what I am really doing is giving you a chart of my own temptations. I will make five suggestions. The first sin is self-hatred -- hating ourselves because we are gay/lesbian, a feeling of low self-worth and inadequacy. The self- hatred can extend to the denial of our own sexuality and to a hatred of those who remind us of ourselves. Homophobia, of course, encourages this self hatred. But what is the Christian vision? We are all created in God's image. Our full persons, our full community, including our lesbian/gay sexuality, reflect the glory of God, for out of all of these emerges love. We need to resist any attempt to place a fundamental or basic destructive self-hatred at the centre of our Christian faith. Of course, we believe in and experience the Cross, out of which also emerges life. But the Cross too is rooted in a fundamentally positive view of creation and human nature. The Cross, freely chosen, restores us to this. We need to start with a very positive view of creation. We are all, as individuals but more fundamentally as a community, created in the image of God. Destructive self-hatred will get us nowhere. A second sin is despair and hopelessness. When self-hatred eats away at us, when we have defeats and failures, when relationships do not work out, when our brokenness finally seems impossible to bear, despair and hopelessness are the result. Yet time and time again, scripture reminds us that nothing can separate us from the love of God, whatever brokenness we have to endure. Hope is a primary Christian virtue, even if we sometimes do not feel it. Hope comes through other people. Therefore, we need to help and encourage one another. Love brings hope. If we do not love, we deny hope to others. A third sin is self-pity. In the midst of self-hatred and hopelessness, it is easy to slip into self-pity. Rather than reaching out to love, we reach into ourselves and worry about ourselves. We look at other people's relationships, whether in the heterosexual or the gay/lesbian world, and are jealous, feeling sorry for ourselves and our difficult road. We need to remember that love is outward-directed as well as inward- directed. In reaching out, we give love to others; only if others reach out to us, will we experience love. There is a giving and receiving. If we withdraw into self-pity, we cease to love as well as we might. God reached out, Christ reached out, we need to reach out. Here communication is very important. In order to reach out and be reached out to, we need to express our needs clearly to one another. A fourth sin is compartmentalisation. Because lesbian/gay sexuality is so difficult for the heterosexual world, there is always the temptation to "compartmentalise" our sexuality. Sometimes this is necessary for survival and appropriate. Yet the homosexual issue is one justice issue among many other justice issues and links can and need to be made. As Christians, we are committed to justice for all people -- for the gay/lesbian community, for women, for blacks in South Africa, for Filipino peasants, for Canadian native people. The homosexual issue cannot be separated from other issues. As one who travels frequently in Asia, I am aware how much damage can be done when gays compartmentalise their sexuality from other justice issues, for example, in the exploitation of young boys in male prostitution in the Philippines and Thailand for First World gay tourists. Unless we as gays and lesbians can relate with other justice issues positively -- racism, sexism, exploitation of the Third World by western multinationals, sexual exploitation, etcetera -- we are no better than anyone else on these issues. Finally we are all simply human beings. We have all the human frailties of the rest of the world. Like anyone else, we can be dishonest in relationships, thoughtless, greedy, cruel -- the list goes on. These kinds of basic issues and problems, which we share with the rest of the world, we too need to work on. To all of us, the message of Ash Wednesday is simple. If we repent, we are forgiven; we have another chance to begin again. God grant us the grace to see our sins as You see them, not simply as humanity sees them, to repent, to begin again, growing more fully in the life of death and resurrection, that we too may have a holy Easter. ======== End of volume 89-2 of Integrator, the newsletter of Integrity/Toronto copyright 1989 Integrity/Toronto Editor this issue: Bonnie Bewley comments please to Chris Ambidge, current Editor chris.ambidge@utoronto.ca OR Integrity/Toronto Box 873 Stn F Toronto ON Canada M4Y 2N9