Subject: Falwell Responds Angrily to White's Open Letter. Correspondence
From: [email-masked]
Date: Thu, 1 Jul 1999 09:08:38 EDT

http://www.soulforce.org/falwell.html  FIND MEL'S FIRST OPEN LETTER AND FALWELL'S ANGRY RESPONSE

SECOND OPEN LETTER TO JERRY FALWELL FROM MEL WHITE
June 30, 1999

Dear Jerry,
	Yesterday, at a family reunion celebrating the 29th birthday of our 
son, Michael, (and my 59th) we received a call from a friend who couldn't 
wait to tell us the good news.  "Reverend Falwell has answered your first 
OPEN LETTER TO JERRY," he said, "and on the front page of the July issue of 
his National Liberty Journal."

	 All seven of us were there - son, daughter, son-in-law, 
grand-daughter, Katie, former wife, Lyla; and Gary, my partner of fifteen 
years. We gathered around the computer to read your response to my OPEN 
LETTER.  They were stunned by the way you fictionalized our lives to make 
your point.  

      "Mel abandoned his family, and his ministry," you wrote, "and moved in 
with his male lover." In the silence that followed those five pages of 
misinformation, Katie said softly, "Why did he say that you abandoned us, 
Grampa?" "Because he just doesn't understand," I replied.

	There are so many things you don't understand, Jerry.  But that's all 
right.  You aren't alone.  Millions of people are as confused and confounded 
by this issue as you are.  For decades our family, too, was a victim of 
misinformation about sexual orientation.  Thank God, our story has a happy 
ending, but far too many lives are wasted, too many families ruined, too many 
congregations torn apart because they don't know the truth about lesbian, 
gay, bisexual, and transgendered minorities and are victims of fear and 
ignorance instead.

        When I appealed to you in 1996 you replied, "I am not interested in 
promoting your publicity stunts and/or media hypes."  Jerry, I'm not 
interested in personal publicity or media hype. I'm not asking for a "debate" 
either.  The "debate" has gone on far too long. We're just shouting at each 
other across an ever-widening chasm. Almost no one is listening.  The whole 
country is divided.  Let's begin a real conversation before more families are 
ruined and more lives are lost. If you and I are totally honest and lovingly 
frank, our public conversation could benefit everyone on both sides of this 
issue. 

        I'll start by admitting that you are right when you say that I sinned 
in leaving my wife, Lyla.  Jesus is very clear that divorce is a sin.  I have 
confessed my sin and been forgiven by God, by my former wife, and by my 
children.  And out of their forgiveness and understanding, we have become a 
family again.  

        What you find difficult to understand is that the sin I committed in 
getting a divorce had roots in another kind of sin altogether, the sin of 
misinformation.  In your first OPEN LETTER TO MEL you recall that you were, 
"…born and raised in a segregationist culture." And you admit frankly that as 
a young believer, "…this [misinformation about race] was one of the first 
things that the Holy Spirit began purging from my life."  

       I was born and raised in a culture misinformed about homosexuality. I 
was told that my feelings were a sickess and that to act on those feelings 
was a sin.  "All you need," one counselor informed me, "is to marry a good 
woman." I did and from that misinformation, all kinds of suffering followed. 
	
       In my childhood and youth there were reasons to be convinced that 
homosexuality was a sickness and a sin.  The American Psychological 
Association listed homosexuality as an illness until 1973 and the six verses 
in the Bible that referred to any kind of same-sex intimacy, seemed plainly 
to condemn homosexuality as a sin to those who had never studied what the 
verses meant in their time and place.  Like millions before, we became 
victims of scientific and biblical misinformation.  It took the Spirit of 
Truth thirty-five years to purge that misinformation from my life.  

      In your letter, you say that I have "sinned against Scripture."  Then 
you reprint an entire letter you wrote me in 1996 to explain your biblical 
opposition to homosexuality."  However, in that long letter you didn't 
mention Sodom, or the 'holiness' passages in Leviticus.  You don't even 
discuss Paul's writings in Romans, I Corinthians or I Timothy, the only 
passages used to support the biblical case against homosexuality.  You only 
say:  "Make no mistake about it. The bible in both the Old and New Testaments 
declares homosexuality to be a sin."  Don't we both owe it to God, to the 
Bible, to each other, and to those we serve,  to take time to see if your 
assumptions are true?

       Before we do that, Jerry, I hope you will remember that whatever you 
feel about homosexuality and homosexuals, our right to equal protection under 
the law is a Constitutional, not a biblical issue.  We are a democracy, not a 
theocracy.  The laws of this land protect our right to disagree about these 
six biblical verses without being denied the basic rights guaranteed all 
Americans by the Constitution.  Nevertheless, since you support your case 
against us on biblical grounds, let's use this second Open Letter to focus on 
the ancient story of Sodom in Genesis 19.

	These are your words, Jerry:  "God wiped Sodom and Gomorrah clean 
from the face of the earth!  These two Old Testament cities were so filled 
with homosexuality and perversion that they were utterly destroyed…Will our 
nation face a similar fate because God-fearing moral people failed to stop 
homosexuality from becoming an accepted lifestyle in our churches, schools 
and public places?"  
	
     With respect, I'm asking you to consider the possibility that you are 
missing the point of this ancient story altogether and in the process you've 
become a primary source of misinformation about homosexuality and homosexuals 
that has tragic consequences for its victims, heterosexual and homosexual 
alike.

      With all the love we have for the Scriptures, Jerry, we still have to 
admit that the Bible can be a very dangerous book.  In the 16th century, John 
Selden said,  "These three words - 'Search the Scriptures'  - have undone the 
world."   He was right; yet we must go on searching them for our sake and for 
the sake of our wounded world. The Bible's central theme is clear: God loves 
the world and is determined to rescue and renew it.  Yet the misuse of the 
Bible's great love story has drenched the planet in blood and tears. 

      The Scriptures have been misused to defend bloody crusades and 
inquisitions; to support slavery, apartheid, and segregation; to sanction the 
physical and emotional abuse of women and children; to persecute Jews and 
other non-Christian people of faith; to support the holocaust of Hitler's 
Third Reich; to oppose medical science; to condemn inter-racial marriage; to 
execute women as witches; to excuse the violent racism of the Ku Klux Klan; 
to mobilize militias, white supremacy and neo-nazi movements; and to condone 
intolerance and discrimination against sexual minorities.

    You claim that God destroyed Sodom because of homosexuality.  Yet Jesus 
and five Jewish prophets all describe the sins of Sodom without including 
homosexuality.  Even your friend, Billy Graham, doesn't mention homosexuality 
on Sodom's list of sins.

     "This is the sin of Sodom," said the prophet, Ezekiel.  "She and her 
suburbs had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not help or 
encourage the poor and needy.  They were arrogant and this was abominable in 
God's eyes, (Ez.16: 48-49)."  

     How could the prophet make it more clear?  This story of Sodom is not 
about sexual orientation.   It is a rather terrifying example of how God 
feels about a rich and selfish city whose citizens refused to feed the 
hungry, house the homeless, care for widows and orphans, or open their hearts 
and homes to strangers at the gate.

     Is it fair to blame homosexuals for the destruction of Sodom when the 
prophets and Jesus make it clear that God destroyed that city because it 
refused to help the needy and the outcast?  Isn't it equally clear that God 
decided to destroy the city long before its men and boys gathered in Lot's 
front yard?  Isn't it possible that by using this story to condemn 
homosexuals we might also be missing the real lesson God wants us to learn 
from whatever happened in the darkness that night?

     In Genesis 19:4-5, Moses tells us who had gathered on Lot's lawn.   "All 
the men of the city, both old and young, all the men from every quarter."  
Jerry, not even in San Francisco could every man and boy be gay.  So, what 
really is happening at Lot's gate? The only clues Moses gives us are the 
words shouted by the mob. "Where are the men who came to your home tonight? 
Bring them out that we might know them."   

     The Hebrew verb "to know" is rarely used to mean sexual intercourse.  
More often it is used exactly as we use it today when we ask, "Who are you?"  
A soldier on guard would say, "Halt! Who goes there?"  A threatening phone 
call might be answered "Who is this?"  In July, 1964, when the four boys from 
the Congress on Racial Equality were arrested for protesting segregation on 
your church steps, did anyone say it this way? "Who are these strangers? Why 
do they come here?"

     No one might even have suspected that there were sexual overtones if Lot 
hadn't tried to appease the mob by offering them his virgin daughters. 
(Sexism and homophobia usually go hand in hand). But the girls weren't spared 
because the mob was gay. The bullies in that mob, like bullies throughout the 
centuries, wanted no outsiders in their neighborhood.  This was their turf 
and the gang assembled to defend it.

     The men of Sodom were demonstrating the very reason that God had decided 
to destroy that city.  Whatever they feared, hated, or didn't understand, 
they sought to punish and eliminate.  Think of Nazi Brown Shirts breaking 
Jewish shop windows, or the Klu Klux Klan burning a cross on a black family's 
lawn, or Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney murdering Matthew Shepard.

     If Russell and Aaron had raped Matthew before they killed him, would you 
have assumed that the two boys were homosexuals?  Gang rape, heterosexual or 
homosexual, is not about sex. It's about humiliating someone you hate, fear, 
or don't understand.  It was common in ancient times for soldiers to 
dehumanize and demean the vanquished by raping them in the heat of victory.  
It is still happening today.  

     We all saw front page photos recently of Abner Louima, the young black 
immigrant from Haiti who was held down in a restroom by Officer Charles 
Schwarz while Officer Justin Volpe rammed a broken broomstick into Louima's 
rectum.  These two men and the three other officers who covered up this 
outrage were not gay.  This act was not about sex anymore than that threat in 
Lot's front yard was about homosexuality.

     The phrase "f--- you" is not about having sex.  It's an angry threat (if 
only  symbolic) just like the mob's threat at Lot's house.  The one finger 
gesture that often accompanies the threat isn't an invitation to make love.  
It is a threat to violate an enemy sexually.  Jerry, if you believe this 
passage condemns any kind of sexual practice, it condemns gang rape and 
homosexuals are against gang rape as much as you are, maybe more, because we 
are so often the victims of that kind of mob.

     The story of Sodom says a lot about what makes God angry and nothing at 
all about homosexuality or homosexuals.  By misusing this story to argue 
about sexual orientation, we risk missing God's point altogether.   
Heterosexuals and homosexuals alike are both in danger of becoming 
"Sodomites" in God's eyes when we do not care for the needy around us and 
when we cause suffering to those we fear, hate, or do not understand.  

     When Jesus sent his disciples out into the world to "heal the sick, 
cleanse the lepers, and raise the dead," he ends his instructions to them 
with this clear command:  "If a city or a house will not receive you, depart 
and shake the dust out of your sandals; for it shall be treated as Sodom and 
Gomorrah in the day of judgment, (Matt.10: 11f.)

     Jesus doesn't condemn homosexuality.  He condemns people who are 
unwilling to hear the truth, let alone to provide hospitality to those who 
have come to share it.  But he blesses those who open their hearts and homes 
to the strangers in their midst.  

     So, in the spirit of those angels who visited Sodom with life-changing 
news, on the weekend of October 22-24*, Gary and I are coming to Lynchburg to 
visit you and your congregation.  We're not angels, Jerry, but we bring 
life-changing news and we're inviting gay, lesbian, bisexual, and 
transgendered people of faith, their families and friends to join us. 

     Here's the idea.  Though we disagree about sexual orientation, Christ 
has commanded us "to love one another."  How can we say that we love each 
other if we refuse to listen to the other's side?   We've heard your side, 
Jerry, in print, on radio and television, in newspapers and newsmagazines, on 
Geraldo, Larry King Live, and Nightline.  Isn't it right for you (and for 
your congregation) to hear our side, too? 

      Would you open your church homes to Gary and me and to the strangers 
from across the nation who may join us in Lynchburg?  Would you match up our 
gay and lesbian families with your church families at least for Sunday dinner 
at the church or in local restaurant?  My partner and I would love to treat 
you and Macel to a meal and an honest, open conversation. Imagine what might 
happen if your people heard our stories and our people heard yours.

     In the meantime, this is my promise to you.  I will use the next four 
months to respond thoughtfully to every question you raise in our OPEN LETTER 
series. I'll review the biblical, scientific, and historic evidence that 
supports my premise that homosexuality is neither a sickness, nor a sin.  
When you prove me wrong or confused, I WILL ADMIT IT. I only ask that you 
take our questions seriously as well. I've linked my OPEN LETTERS to your web 
page.  Why not link your OPEN LETTER responses to mine? 

     I remember the first time you told me about those four teenagers from 
CORE who demonstrated on the steps of your Thomas Road Baptist Church in '64. 
They carried a sign reading "Does God Discriminate?  You had them arrested. 
Now you regret it.  

     "We resented those teenage boys," you said, "for their interference in 
the lives of our community.  But looking back, they were courageous, and it 
is time that I for one admit it."  Then you confessed something that makes me 
proud of you and gives me hope that one day you will change your mind about 
us.  "The years of tradition that separated us were wrong," you said, "and 
the boys were right to point it out to us."  Then you concluded with, "I just 
wish there had been another way for them to get our attention." 

     Isn't it ironic that while we argue about the sexual orientation of the 
mob outside Lot's house, we've almost forgotten the strangers inside?  They 
had come from God with truth that could have saved the city.  By refusing to 
grant hospitality to the strangers, the people of Sodom sealed their fate.  
Jerry, we offer you "another way" to confront our differences, the Soulforce 
way of truth, love, and nonviolence. 

Sincerely,

Mel

PS: After reading your OPEN LETTER TO MEL the family took this picture to 
show you that we are together again just as you hoped. Enter into this 
dialogue with us, Jerry.  Let's learn from each other.  When you prove me 
wrong, I will admit it.  Will you do the same?  Notice the matching brown 
t-shirts. When my father, the Mayor of Santa Cruz, was proven wrong, he'd 
say, "Well eat my shirt."  These t-shirts are dyed in Ghirardelli chocolate. 
It's the family's way of saying, "It's good to be wrong now and then.  It's 
the only way we grow.  So, if we have to 'eat our shirts,' we plan to enjoy 
it."  
<A HREF="http://www.soulforce.org/falwell.html#white062999">PHOTO AND ALL 
LETTERS AVAILABLE AT WWW.SOULFORCE.ORG
</A>
[http://www.soulforce.org/falwell.html#white062999]

*For more information about how you can join Mel and Gary
 in their Journey to Lynchburg, Oct. 22-24, 1999, 
email your inquiry to [email-masked]. 
Check www.soulforce.org for regular updates.
______________________________________________________________
In 1997, the Rev. Dr. Mel White received the ACLU's National Civil Liberties 
Award for applying the 'soul force' principles of Gandhi and King to the 
liberation of sexual minorities. He is a co-founder of Soulforce, Inc.and the 
author of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America.  In 1986, 
Mel worked for Simon&Schuster as ghostwriter for Jerry Falwell's 
autobiography, Strength for the Journey.  

FOR MORE INFORMATION: 
WWW.SOULFORCE.ORG        WWW.MELWHITE.ORG          [email-masked].

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IN THIS OPEN LETTER SERIES.

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