GAY ISSUE RILES LOCAL SCOUTS Pack's shunning of gay dad's lover raises rights issue by David Eddy San Luis Obispo, California Telegram-Tribune March 28, 1992 Boy Scout leaders say they will call the police if an Oceano man brings his gay lover to any more Cub Scout pack meetings. Having the two men at pack meetings is a "disruptive influence," according to Tim Chamberlain, scout executive for the Santa Lucia Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America, which covers San Luis Obispo County. "He wouldn't hesitate a minute (to call the police)," Chamberlain said of Cubmaster Michael Creath of Pack 419. Creath could not be reached for comment. The problems surfaced last weekend, when Abraham Valencia brought his live-in companion to a Cub Scout camp-out that two of his sons were attending at Camp French. Valencia has one other son, and has had sole custody of the three boys for the past four years. The two men were only going to stay for dinner, said Valencia, "because we respect their (pack leaders') homophobia." But Cub Scout leaders wouldn't let the partner stay. According to Valencia, they said they'd received their direction from the national headquarters of Boy Scouts of America in Dallas, Texas. When contacted, Chamberlain read the scouts' position statement: "The Boy Scouts of America have emphasized traditional family values since the inception of the movement. We believe homosexuals do not provide a role model for scouts that is consistent with these traditional values. Accordingly, the Boy Scouts of America does not accept homosexuals as members or leaders." Though Valencia's partner is neither a member nor a leader, his presence clearly flies in the face of the Boy Scouts' position, said Chamberlain, and would be disruptive. "If people are going to grandstand and express opinions contrary to the Boy Scouts of America, he (Creath) has the right to uphold order." Chamberlain emphasized that Valencia, as a parent, is welcome to come. But his partner is not. The conflict reached the boiling point Wednesday night when Valencia and his partner took the two Cub Scouts, 11-year-old Kevin and 8-year-old Isaac, to the pinewood derby races at North Oceano Elementary School. Valencia's partner was told he had to leave. (The partner would not reveal his name, because he said the publicity might hurt his chance of getting a job.) "It got real nasty," said Valencia. "I was in the Army 10 years, and I can cuss quite a bit." If Valencia's partner was not welcome, the boys said they would leave too. But when they got home, Kevin said he got to thinking that the situation was like that of Rosa Parks, a black woman who played a key role in the civil rights movement. "It's like Mike (Creath) was white, and us being blacks and not willing to give up our seats on the bus," said Kevin. So they all marched back to the meeting and Valencia's partner was allowed to stay. But they were told he would not be welcome again. Valencia's partner said he kept quiet. "I was already too disgusted to say anything. I don't see why it's a problem for me to see what (Kevin and Isaac) are doing in the Cub Scouts," he said. Valencia said his partner is very involved in the boys' day-to-day lives, and functions much as a parent would, making their lunches, making sure they brush their teeth, and so on. Going to the meetings and sharing in the boys' achievements is just another normal part of life. "Besides," said the partner. "It's not like we're going to /do/ anything." Indeed, Valencia said that while he and his partner haven't even asked to go on camping trips, Creath has brought his girlfriend along on such outings. If morality is the issue, said Valencia, how can the scouts justify that behavior? Chamberlain said he wasn't aware of that and couldn't comment. The Boy Scouts of America have no policy on it, he said. There's one other aspect of the situation that bothers Valencia. While he doesn't have a problem with his partner being barred from meetings at the cubmaster's home or any other private property, he doesn't think it's right to banish the man from pack meetings at North Oceano Elementary School. Scott Lathrop, assistant superintendent of business for the Lucia Mar School District, said he doesn't know whether Valencia's partner can be barred from attending meetings at the school. On one hand, the district certainly can't discriminate against anyone. On the other, the state Education Code mandates that the district make the school available to the scouts. "We're between a rock and a hard place," he said. Lathrop said the district's legal counsel is researching the matter, and should have an answer next week. If the district decides Valencia's partner must be admitted, Chamberlain said the pack will simply meet on private property. There is one thing that puzzles Valencia. He said there had never been a problem with his partner attending meetings until just recently. Just a month ago, the two men attended the Blue and Gold dinner, an annual scouting event, and no one said a word, Valencia related. And that's despite the fact that Creath and other parents knew the men were gay. Valencia said the problems began -- and he claims Creath confirmed it -- after Valencia's oldest son, 13-year-old Paul, spoke out in public about his father's homosexuality and was quoted in the next day's Telegram-Tribune. Paul Valencia stood up at the March 3 city council hearing on San Luis Obispo's gay rights law and said neither his father nor the rest of the family should have to suffer because his father is gay. "This is not what justice is all about in this society," said Paul, who is not gay. "The law should be passed because children of gay and lesbian parents should not be subjected to discrimination." Despite his plea, the law failed to pass. And because of it, his two younger brothers probably won't be Cub Scouts much longer. The two boys say they love scouting, but if it's a choice between remaining Cub Scouts and putting up with discrimination, or standing by their father's partner, they'll choose the latter. "It sounds like he (Creath) is trying to put up a big brick wall around him like he doesn't exist," said Kevin, nodding at his father's partner. "That's not right." Relevant addresses: +------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Boy Scouts of America, San Luis Obispo Telegram-Tribune | | Santa Lucia Area Council P.O. Box 112 | | 1123 Mill Street San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 | | San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | +------------------------------------------------------------------+