Date: Tue, 27 Jun 95 13:06:33 EDT From: "James D. Anderson" MORE LIGHT UPDATE August 1995 Volume 16, Number 1 Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns James D. Anderson, Communications Secretary P.O. 38 New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038 908/249-1016, 908/932-7501 (Rutgers University) FAX 908/932-6916 (Rutgers University) Internet: jda@scils.rutgers.edu Note: * is used to indicate italicized or boldface text. CONTENTS GENERAL ASSEMBLY NEWS CHANGES JOBS PLGC ON THE INTERNET DATES TO REMEMBER Hugs from Mom and Pop More Light Scam Special Thanks to the Presbyterian News Service FEATURES A Mother's Story / a Mother's Plea, by Alicia Conklin-Wood PLGCers in Dialogue with the General Assembly Council Fairness of GAC Sexuality Dialogue Questioned, by Alexa Smith Lisa Furr and Mitzi Henderson Scott D. Anderson General Assembly Moderator Visits More Light Conference More Light Conference Seeks a Balance Between Hope and Pain, by Alexa Smith Resources for the Dialogue Homosexuality in the Church: Both Sides of the Debate. Reviewed by Jud van Gorder. BECAUSE GOD CARES, You Need PANdemic, The Newsletter of the Presbyterian AIDS Network THIS HURTS! a full-page ad FROM the *Virginia Pilot* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * GENERAL ASSEMBLY NEWS The August issue of *More Light Update* usually has all the news about General Assembly, but General Assembly is late this year, meeting in July instead of June as it usually does. So you'll just have to wait until our September issue. Sorry! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CHANGES PLGC'S COORDINATOR FOR EUROPE Yes, we now have a coordinator in Europe -- actually in London, England. Jack Huizenga, for some years one of our coordinators for the Synod Mid-Atlantic, has been transferred to London. Lucky Jack! He writes: "this is an invitation for at least a call from PLGCers visiting London. There are lots of pubs to enjoy a pint or two. I will be at work in London beginning Monday, June 26." You can reach him at: Voice of America, 74 Shoe Lane, London 4C4A 3JB, United Kingdom. His phone number is (171) 410-0960, preceded by 011-44 if calling from the U.S. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * JOBS Embryo Florida Congregation. An "embryo" congregation in the Lakeland, Florida area is looking for a tentmaking minister. The group grew out of the Polk County chapter of P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) whose president is retired Presbyterian minister Homer A. Spencer. Members of the chapter shared their desire to worship and their difficulty in finding a church in the area where they could do so in an affirming atmosphere. A sympathetic clergyperson in Lakeland allows the group to use a small chapel on Sunday afternoons. But the group, very energetic and enthusiastic, will soon outgrow this meeting place. It has great potential. A local AIDS- related organization has a mailing list of over 500. And there is no distinctly gay/lesbian-affirming church in the county. For more information, please call Homer or Sue Spencer, 941-683-5204. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * PLGC ON THE INTERNET Thanks to the inventive creativity of Donna Riley, a PLGCer in Pittsburgh, PLGC now has a "homepage" on the World Wide Web (WWW), accessible via programs like Mosaic or Netscape. The address is: http://www.epp.cmu.edu/~dr4h/PLGC.html You'll find lots of information about PLGC there, with links to QRD, the Queer Resources Directory, where you will find every issue of the *More Light Update* going back to January 1993. The new issues arrive there a lot faster, usually more than a month before the printed version goes out. The direct access for QRD is: http://www.org/qrd/orgs/PLGC/newsletters/ PLGC also distributes electronic copies of the *Update* via email. If you'd like to be on our electronic distribution list, just send an email request to: jda@scils.rutgers.edu * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * DATES TO REMEMBER Ghost Ranch Gathering for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Christians, Our Families and Friends, November 2-5, 1995 (begins Thursday with dinner and ends Sunday after breakfast). Led by Lisa Bove, former HIV/AIDS minister at West Hollywood Presbyterian Church and Chris Glaser, regular *Update* columnist, retreat leader and author of several books, most recently *The Word Is Out: The Bible Reclaimed for Lesbians and Gay Men*. Come to the sanctuary that welcomes us all: the mesas and canyons of New Mexico! Leave behind the restraints placed on our spirituality and soar with the eagles and the hawks, far above church pronouncements, judicial decisions, solemn assemblies, society prejudice, and indifference or hostility toward matters of faith. Meet others who hunger and thirst "to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). Registration, $100; Room and board, $120. For information, contact Ghost Ranch, HC 77, Box 11, Abiquiu, NM 87510-9601, 505-685-4333, fax 505-685- 4519. PLGC 1996 Midwinter Retreat. March 1-3, 1996, Geneva Center near Rochester, Indiana, presented by our Central Indiana Chapter. Chris Glaser will be the featured speaker and leader. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Hugs from Mom and Pop A special letter from Char and Gus Sindt, parents of our founder David Sindt, to all PLGCers: As the time for General Assembly approaches, Gus and I are thinking about all of you who will be there for PLGC. Although we will not be there in person, be assured that you will be in our love and prayers. Please give to our friends of PLGC, known or unknown, our special love. We are proud to have been dubbed "Mom" and "Pop" of PLGC and exult in the wearing of our special iris sweat shirts received last year at the the More Light Conference in Minneapolis. [These shirts proclaim this special status in PLGC! -- JDA] The American Iris Society convention will be in Pennsylvania in May, and of course we will wear them there again. Maybe some of our iris friends who do not understand will get the message! [David Sindt was a champion breeder and grower of irises! -- JDA] We have moved to a small facility we think we can handle. We still have visiting space and would love at anytime to converse with any of "our children." *Special Love* to you as you faithfully go about your responsibilities with PLGC -- and in other significant ways as well. Always our love, Char and Gus. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * More Light Scam Fraudulent attempts to obtain funds from Open and Affirming Churches in the United Church of Christ have moved to chapters of P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) and Presbyterian More Light Churches. Mitzi Henderson, of P-FLAG and 1st Presbyerian Church, Palo Alto, writes: This scam hit our church this past weekend. A man identifying himself as Robert Ryan (sometimes another last name) calls and claims he is stranded. He may claim he has AIDS, and his family will not help him. He needs money urgently, and requests that money be wired to him through Western Union, or that individuals or churches use their American Express cards to send him help through the AmEx "Global Assist" program. He asks for the pastor, or the church treasurer, and may in turn be referred to other people in the congregation, whom he then claims to have met in the past. THIS IS A SCAM. He has done this to PFLAG chapters, and a number of UCC churches. He made at least a dozen calls to First Pres. Palo Alto this weekend, claiming he was in New Mexico and needed help urgently. With PFLAGs he often says he has AIDS and is trying to get home to his family. PLEASE ALERT OUR CHURCHES. -- Mitzi Henderson * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Special Thanks to the Presbyterian News Service The Presbyterian News Service in Louisville has always done a great job in getting the news out, but now they are even better. Beginning a few months ago, their weekly digest of news in the church and around the world is now going to every congregation in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). What better way to actually get the news out? And, even better, they are devoting more attention to *our* issues. Take for example the two stories in this issue -- their reports on the More Light Churches Conference and on the General Assembly Council's sexuality dialogue. Hey, Jerry Van Marter, Alexa Smith, Julian Shipp, Gary Luhr, Judy Steer, and Steve Moulton, thanks, and keep up the great work! -- JDA. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FEATURES A Mother's Story/ A Mother's Plea A sermon preached by Alicia Conklin-Wood, February 5, 1995, North Presbyterian Church, Williamsville, NY Text: I Corinthians 12:12-31, Luke 4:16-20 [Note: a shorter version of this sermon was published in the February 1995 newsletter of the More Light Churches Network.] I read a sermon recently by a pastor in Hilton Head, S.C. It began: "There are times when ministers know that if they address certain topics they will be in for it, that if they don't address those topics they will be in for it, that if they say too much about whatever they will be in for it, that if they say too little about whatever they will be in for it, that if they say this about that those people will be angry, but if they say that about this, that these people will be angry, and I will say up front that this is one of those times, and this is one of those topics, and all of us are those or these people" (John M. Miller 7/17/94 *More Light Update* 2/95). What I have to say takes a little longer than usual; I ask your indulgence this once. This morning I want to speak very personally. I want to begin by telling a story about our family and about my experience as a mother in that family. May 17, 1966 a beautiful baby boy was born -- our second child. We named him David Andrew. Poor little Dave was a colicky baby. When I wasn't exhausted from being up night and day with him, I remember feeling sorry for him that the beginning of his life seemed so unhappy for him -- such a little tike to struggle so much. But the colic passed as it always does, and for us all life became much happier. I can still see him chasing around after his big sister trying to do everything she did. Family picture albums are filled with birthdays and holidays and fun times. Bright and creative, we still have three little books Dave wrote in early elementary school -- the triangle book, the square and the circle book. And his Dad and I remember fondly the little puppet shows he and his brother and sister would put on in the basement playroom. His growing years gave us many other fond memories -- of little league baseball games, of horseback riding lessons, newspaper routes. And we remember his first part in Geneva's summer theater program -- "The King and I." David always had a lot of friends -- everyone liked him. And our adult women friends often would comment about what a nice son he was. We would laugh about how half the women we knew were in love with him! And yet we were proud too, to have such a beloved son. Our three children were like most kids I know growing up. Sometimes they were fast friends, but sometimes they could fight like cats and dogs. But, one of our fondest memories of all was the night of his junior senior prom. My husband and I had been forbidden to attend on pain of dire consequences! So we were upstairs at home when Dave's younger brother came charging in the house and up the stairs, "Mom, Dad, Dave got king, Dave got king!", he was shouting with enormous brotherly pride! What an exciting evening that was! We were always a church going family, so Dave was baptized as an infant, and along with everything else, Dave regularly sang in the children's choir, attended Sunday School and Confirmation classes, and Youth Group. While still in high school he was also ordained as a Deacon and served out his term of office faithfully. A developing interest in singing, dance and drama informed his college choice and he ultimately graduated with a BFA from The Tisch School of Performing Arts, part of NYU. As a proud mother, I want to say that any of you might have seen him several summers ago at Art Park in "A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To The Forum." What we had no way of knowing as this faithful and fine young man grew to adulthood within our family was that something else was growing within him also -- something that no one in our society would name or talk about. Much later he reflected to me some of his struggles growing up. And I felt so sad, that when his Dad and I were doing our level best to be there for all our children during their growing years, we had not known nor been able to help him with his greatest struggle. Listen to his words, shared with me as an adult: "You know mom, how, in seventh grade all the guys began to be attracted to girls? Well I began to notice the boys in a different way, and I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I couldn't stop it." He also told me that much of his 16th year he spent trying to decide whether or not to commit suicide, because he didn't know what else to do, and it hurt so much to be different and not fit in. This mind you, when all around he was receiving affirmation from all his outward behavior and efforts to fit in! (I now know that questions about sexual orientation are one of the highest causes of teen suicide in the nation!) The truth be told, as a mother, I had sensed that something was going on within him, and I had tried to leave doors open if he wanted to talk about it, but this was not possible for him. Remember, our society has heavy sanctions against the subject of homosexuality. It makes it hard to discuss even with those close to you, and teenagers especially do not like to share intimacies with their parents! In some families a conversation about homosexuality may even cause permanent fracturing of any relationship with parents or siblings. It's a high price to pay for disclosure, and one that is always carefully weighed. The time came when Dave was ready to "come out" to his family. He did it in several stages -- first to his sister and brother. It was Thanksgiving 1986 when he came out to his dad and me -- or rather the day after Thanksgiving. I always have thought that knowing Dave's love of holiday celebrations and family rituals, he chose the day after so as not to let anything "ruin" the big day. Protectively the family "circled the wagons" around him, entering the closet with him. You see, he was unwilling to risk having a wider community know about his sexuality. First of all, of course, one's sexuality is a very private matter. How many people do you know who introduce themselves by saying, "Hi, I'm Alicia, and I'm a heterosexual"? Secondly, he carried very real concerns about employment opportunities. And then, I have come to understand that his coming out to his family was a part of a continuing coming out to himself. As a family we affirmed his right to be himself and for us to maintain his confidentiality at any level he wanted. Knowing about Dave's sexuality has made us more aware of some real basics. For example, there's the time when my husband and I visited Dave during the summer he was performing in Nice, France -- and discovered he was smoking. He had been afraid to tell us, but one of his friends convinced him that if he could tell his parents that he was gay he could risk telling him that he smoked! I told him in response that for me his gayness was who he was, but that his smoking was how he took care of himself, and that I hoped that he would take good care of himself! Happily he gave up smoking later on. For us and for Dave the circle of trusted friends has been very small, although we have all been affected. It is hard to listen to gay bashing jokes or put-downs and not either cry, or lash out in anger And our family values affect our choices just as they do everyone's. Last spring, for example, our daughter, Beth, went looking for a church that she could call home. As she later told me: Beth, for the first time ever, had gotten up and left in the middle of the sermon. The minister was preaching about "homosexuals in the church" in a very negative way. She picked up three year old Cara who was having a grand time in the Sunday School and who wanted to know why they were leaving so soon. And Beth said to her, "Well you know Uncle David and Uncle Joe? (Yes) Well we love them very much don't we? (Yes) Well, the people here at this church don't like people like Uncle David and Uncle Joe, so I thought we should leave and go home." And I was told that little Cara's response was, "Right mommy, let's get away from here right away!" _________________________________________________________________ I simply can't tell you how painful it has been for me to continue as an ordained member of the PC(USA) when that denomination refuses to accept my child. _________________________________________________________________ But to speak even more personally for a moment. The Thanksgiving that David came out to us was the first Thanksgiving after my ordination. I simply can't tell you how painful it has been for me to continue as an ordained member of the PC(USA) when that denomination refuses to accept my child. Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to be torn between two great loves -- that of church and that of family? And I have asked myself, how long, O Lord, how long? And sometimes I wonder. I remember sitting in a meeting of my former presbytery the day we were debating an overture to General Assembly that would permit ordination of all persons without regard to sexual orientation. During worship that day we sang two hymn: "They'll know We Are Christians by Our Love" and "We Are One In The Spirit" -- and I found my eyes welling up with tears wondering just how sincerely we meant those words. >From that day forward, I have privately dedicated the presbytery's annual communion service to all those who are systematically excluded from full participation in the structures of our denomination. Friends, I have studied my Bible -- again and again, and I have prayed mightily for wisdom and guidance. I know as well as you the few verses that apparently speak against homosexuality in the Bible -- although the word itself does not exist in ancient Hebrew or Greek. But I also have seen some other things. I have noted that Jesus is absolutely silent on this subject. I have also noted that he and the Bible as a whole, say a great deal about God's mercy and justice being offered to all people. And if this is true, I have to wonder -- doesn't this apply also to those whom God has created gay or lesbian or bi-sexual people? Doesn't this apply to my son -- my son who lives so gracefully in a most graceless world? And if God's love is there for all, and if the church is as our scripture says, the "body of Christ" today, then why does the PC(USA) deny the opportunity for full participation for any who meet all the stated qualifications for ordination to any office -- deacon, elder or minister of word and sacrament? And what about Dave? -- should he now be stripped of his ordination as a deacon, because it was offered before he was an acknowledged, "self affirming, practicing homosexual" (the words of the church). And how should I respond to those mothers who have sat in my office here at North Church and told me about their child with tears in their eyes -- tears of love and fear for their beloved? Why have I chosen this day to speak out? There are two reasons: 1) Last May on a visit home David specifically offered his permission to use his story and our family's story in any way we thought could be useful. 2) It was because of the gospel -- which comes up every third year about this time of year. When I was in my third year in divinity School I attended Sunday worship at the West Hollywood Presbyterian Church where a friend of mine, Dan Smith, was (and still is) pastor. Dan asked me to read the gospel that day which was the same one that I read today from the gospel according to Luke. Reading in that setting gave this passage a whole new meaning. You see, that worshipping community was about 90% gay. Many of those listening were gay men or lesbians who had been driven out of other churches. They were very wary of joining any church, but in that church they at least had found sanctuary for their weary and fearful souls, and a place to celebrate the goodness of their creation as children of God. The experience was profound and not to be forgotten. Let me read again what Jesus read in the synagogue that day from the prophet, Isaiah. The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because God has anointed me, to bring good news to the poor. God has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, and to let the oppressed go free." It was a mission statement at the beginning of his ministry. It was to be costly. Sometimes the gospel challenges traditions or positions that we hold dear, and we don't like to hear that. It makes us uncomfortable or angry or scared. I know. I have been there. Indeed, I have sometimes been hesitant to speak my convictions when I knew that my listener would be upset or offended and I didn't want to cause their discomfort. But the time comes when we must stand and say what we believe. _________________________________________________________________ I have come to believe that the position of our denomination in excluding all "self affirming, practicing homosexuals" from full participation in the offices of the church is a mighty sin. _________________________________________________________________ I have come to believe that the position of our denomination in excluding all "self affirming, practicing homosexuals" from full participation in the offices of the church is a mighty sin -- a word I do not use lightly. This morning I would like to invite you, the congregation of North Presbyterian Church, to join my journey. Tomorrow night, I shall ask the Session to endorse North Church as an Inquiring Church in the More Light Church movement. (There are currently 120 "Inquiring Churches.") Now, what does that mean? First, it means that some of our churches believe, to quote John Robinson's 1620 remark, "that God has yet more light to shed upon this earth" -- that the scriptures speak to every age and every condition in fresh ways according to the questions of that time. Second, the sixty-two More Light Churches are Presbyterian churches that affirm the right of full participation in all ordainable offices and the life of the church, who work to be supportive to gays, lesbians and bi-sexuals and their families in the church and to seek a safe and just society for them. They also take seriously the 1978 General Assembly instruction to work to end homophobia in both church and society. My request will include asking the Session to establish a task force including members from the general congregation that will report regularly to the Session. The purpose of this task force, briefly, will be to do the work just named as we journey together deciding whether to name ourselves as a More Light Church. My dream, my vision, my prayer is that one day North Presbyterian Church may be a church where David and his partner can come to worship freely like all of us who come faithfully, seeking to set ourselves before God, giving praise to God and being renewed and strengthened for service in God's world. I pray that one day they and their families, and all the families like them may come -- and be welcomed -- fully, into full participation -- as part of the whole people of God. Then may God's name be truly praised. Amen * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * PLGCers in Dialogue with the General Assembly Council Fairness of GAC Sexuality Dialogue Questioned by Alexa Smith, *News Briefs, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)*, Issue No. 9513, March 31, 1995. Louisville, Ky. -- How to structure fair dialogue on human sexuality -- taking into account scripture, theology and its relationship to human experience -- was the General Assembly Council's quandary when it gathered here March 11 for the second stage of its three-part sexuality study. In four testimonies, followed by 10 small group conversations, gay men, lesbians and their parents told General Assembly Council (GAC) members: * Current dialogue is a sham because there is no protection for gays and lesbians in professional roles who risk speaking and because the church continues to vote on issues that impact dialogue. * Selective biblical literalism is imposed on this debate only. * Gays and lesbians who feel called into ministry still hope for a time when they may serve without pretense. Before speakers came to the podium, four male Council members protested, saying the dialogue omitted hands-on Bible study and too few ex-gay panelists were included. The previous session, at the GAC's late September meeting, was on scriptural authority. It was organized around panel-style conversation with biblical scholars and small group discussion. "We're jumping to experience without Bible study," said the Rev. W. Edmund Carver of Knoxville, Tenn. He insisted Bible study should have followed the more theological conversation on scriptural authority held in September. "To some of us, it looks like a step is missing ... [and] I mean no disrespect to our visitors." The Rev. Walter Ungerer of Kokomo, Ind., protested that panel representation was not fair. He said six gay people were present for small group and plenary conversation, while only two ex-gay speakers were invited. Dialogue Committee member Jill Heine of Albuquerque told the Presbyterian News Service that planners opted to include more people who are "most aggrieved" by current General Assembly policy, which bans practicing gays from ordination. Heine said dialogue is a long-term process and each segment cannot include all viewpoints and all issues on such a complex subject. "We have an opportunity to show ourselves as a Christian community [that is] unclear. Is there something wrong [with that]?" asked Mitzi Henderson of Menlo Park, Calif., president of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG). Henderson said the church is now being driven to a definitive stance on an issue where no consensus exits. "The study we are taking is a sham. ... We have open dialogue, but with no protection [for gays and lesbians in professional positions who speak]. And we continue to vote on things that narrow the basis of that dialogue," Henderson said, alluding to the same-sex union prohibition currently moving through presbyteries. "We are using polity to deal with the human heart. ... "If Jesus told us anything, [it was that] law is not the answer." Former Presbyterian minister Scott Anderson of Sacramento [and a PLGC board member] said gays and lesbians are no longer willing to live with the "don't ask, don't tell rule."; Anderson, who resigned his pastorate and demitted his ordination after being "outed," said he waits for the day when he can be "fully who God created me to be." That day would be absent of selective biblical literalism and would include the kind of governance that gives priority to the relationship between a candidate and a presbytery rather than governance by policies, such as the ban on ordination of gays and lesbians, mandated by a larger governing body. Describing himself as a biblically conservative gay man, Randal Fry of Houston said most of the biblical texts indicting homosexual behavior also condemn sins common to all, such as turning away from God and greed and slander. After the Dialogue, Heine said feedback from the Council was "overwhelmingly positive," though she does not want to minimize the concerns of those who disagree. "What else do you need?" she asked, telling Council members to put ideas in writing for the third and last dialogue. It is set for July and its content is not yet planned. Lisa Furr and Mitzi Henderson Here is more on presentations by Lisa Furr and Mitzi Henderson, as described in *The Presbyterian Outlook* in a story by Gene Williams: Speaking to the gathering were Lisa Furr, a lesbian who holds a master's degree in Christian education from Presbyterian School of Christian Education .... Furr, 30 years old and "a lifelong Presbyterian," told the gathering, "I'm one of those young adults that never left the church." Of the issue of sexual preference and ordination, Furr said, "My hope is that this issue isn't one that will be an *us* or *them* type of issue. The reality is that all of us here are the church and it is our job, as it is in any organization or family, to find a way that we can live together." ... Mrs. Henderson told of how she and her husband waited eagerly for their four children to return to the family's home in Minnesota for Christmas in 1978. They were particularly eager to hear about changes that seemed to have taken place in the life of their second son. His life, she said, seemed to have taken on a new excitement, a new meaning, a new wholeness and a new enthusiasm. His letters had been full of anticipation of the future, she recalled. What they found was that "it was because he had come to realize that he was gay. He had been struggling with this for a number of years," she said. When he came out, she recalled, "it was with a very emotional mixture of fear of our response and the euphoria of knowing for the first time in his life about somebody who cared deeply about him." Admitting to being frightened, Mrs. Henderson said she kept the matter secret for three years but finally told her pastor. She recalled to her GAC listeners that the pastor said, "I know nothing about this, I really can't help you," adding that it was too controversial even for him to talk to other ministers about it. "The church has said that it will be there in the time of our deepest need," she told the gathering, "but it was not there for us." Though disappointed with that kind of response, Mrs. Henderson said, "I also see great possibilities. I see what can happen when there is true dialogue. The study that we are taking is a sham. It's a sham because at the same time we are talking about open dialogue we are not giving protection to gay and lesbian people who step forward. It's a sham because at the time we are asking to study, to have open dialogue, we are continuing to vote on things that will narrow the basis of that dialogue. "Is there something wrong with saying we don't know the definitive answer now? We struggled with slavery without knowing the definitive answer for a long time. We struggled with the ordination of women. I would encourage a moratorium on the enforcement of any policy regarding the ordination of gays or lesbians." Scott D. Anderson Here is the complete text of Scott's presentation: The day after New Years in 1990 I received a letter from a couple in my congregation that dramatically changed the course of my life. Since I arrived at Bethany Presbyterian Church, a 400 member congregation in suburban Sacramento, this couple and I had been in conflict. They wanted me to make their personal agenda on a particular social issue the primary cause of my pastoral ministry. As time went on and I repeatedly refused, I sensed their anger at me grew deep and vindictive. In their New Years Day letter they told me that just before Christmas they had learned from a colleague in town -- another Presbyterian pastor who had been a trusted friend for almost 20 years -- that I was a gay man. They surmised that my need to hide my sexual orientation as a Presbyterian minister was the reason that I was so timid about taking on their issues. Now, if only I would do what they wanted me to do for their cause, they would keep my secret. Ironically, a year earlier I had already made the decision to leave the Presbyterian ministry. What drove me to that decision was initially the departure of my partner after 8 years of a monogamous, committed relationship. He was simply fed up with having to lie about our relationship with our closest friends in the church, with deceiving and pretending on a daily basis, and with all of the unhealthy emotional energy we invested in being in the closet. The trauma and pain of his leaving heightened my awareness of my own growing dissatisfaction with having to live a lie about who I was. I, too, was emotionally weary of having to live under the pretense that I was someone I was not, and that generated an enormous amount of despair and self hatred. If I was to live with the kind of honesty, integrity, and wholeness that God intended for my life, I realized I could not do so as a Presbyterian minister. I also felt called to finish out the last three years of my five year commitment to Bethany Church, announce to the congregation and the Presbytery at that time that I planned to change careers, and quietly slip out the back door by telling yet another lie. I didn't possess the courage or the emotional strength to "come out" to my church family. It just seemed too risky. Six weeks later, however, my worst nightmare came true. Towards the end of March this couple sent a letter to 25 people in our Presbytery informing them that I was gay. What had, up to that point, been private and confidential, was now a matter of public discussion. With the rumor mill being what it is in the church, it would only be a matter of days before the congregation and the rest of Presbytery knew who Scott Anderson really was. I laid awake that night wondering, "What in the world would happen next?" After several sleepless nights I finally did what I had preached about to others so many times: I turned to God and prayed: I am putting this situation, I am putting my life in your hands. I have no control over what will happen next. As I prayed, I had a vision (I realize it's not very Presbyterian to have visions) of giant loving arms enfolding me. My body was surrounded with warmth and peace. My fear and my anxiety and my sleeplessness left, and I felt a serenity and a confidence I had never before experienced in my life. As my fear and anxiety left me, as I let go of my worry about what other people were going to think of me when they learned that their pastor is a gay man, as I stopped wondering what tomorrow would hold for my career and my life, I realized that my timetable was all off. I could not wait three years. I could not even wait three months. And I could not leave the ministry in silence and shame. There was more going on here than a living nightmare. The fearful, anxious, closeted Scott Anderson was dying, and somebody new was being born. God's timing called for no less than a resurrection right now! With my anxiety gone and filled with a strength I had never before possessed, I decided it was time to be open and honest. I called a special meeting of the Session, and through a teary and emotional discussion, I told them the truth of who I was, what this couple had done, and why I felt I needed to resign. The following Sunday I lived through what I always felt would be my worst moment: At an informal gathering of the congregation on April 1 after worship, I told the congregation that I am a gay man, the circumstances of the last three months, and the reasons why I could not stay as their pastor. Two days later I stood before the Presbytery of Sacramento and told my story a third time. Each time I spoke, to the Session, the congregation, and then the Presbytery, I gained power to face the next situation, filled not only with anger, grief, and pain, but also with a new and overwhelming sense of dignity, grace, and gratitude. Someday, I suspect, our successors will look back at this time and smile, or perhaps weep, because we were so sexually insecure that we made a particular expression of human sexuality one of the trials for ordination. Someday, I suspect, the Presbyterian Church will overcome its selective biblical literalism and take ever more seriously the central message of the gospel. Someday, I suspect, we will manage to recover our Presbyterian form of government where the decision to ordain or not to ordain is made by the Presbytery out of a direct living relationship with the candidate and not by the mandate of an impersonal policy. Someday, I suspect, we may even get beyond our fear of the way in which love is expressed in a certain segment of our society, so that we may then be free in Christ to become his fully inclusive body. Obviously this day has not yet come. One of the obstacles is the present policy of the Presbyterian Church which draws certain boundaries around people like me. It is a policy that is carefully calculated to avoid the conflict which attends this issue. It obviously has not succeeded. >From the earliest days of American Presbyterianism, there has always been a balance between the validity of individual experience on the one hand, and conformity to community norms on the other. I believe that this discussion cannot move forward if some of us assume that our experience is self-validating and unquestionable, while others of us claim a priori that Scripture and the confessional tradition eliminate that possibility. I want to challenge all of us to move to higher ground. We need to create a context in which personal experience is tested, and the norms of the community are interpreted such that these two complementary factors are evaluated and brought into interaction with each another. I know there are some who feel we have already done this homework, but most of the rest of us cannot deny that building a consensus that is acceptable to the broad middle of the Presbyterian Church remains to be done. I want you to know that I am personally committed to this task, however long it will take, however difficult it will be, because I love this church, and am committed to its peace and unity. My hope and prayer is that before I go to my grave I will be able to reclaim my ordination to the Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Not under the current circumstances of "don't ask, don't tell," where I have to lie, deceive, and pretend in order to be faithful to my calling. But under the circumstances of openness, honesty, and integrity, where I can be fully who God has created me to be. Thank you very much. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * General Assembly Moderator Visits More Light Conference [Photograph of Moderator Bohl addressing the MLCN conference, by Woody Smallwood.] For many, the moving and frank talk by General Assembly Moderator Robert W. Bohl to more than 300 hundred Presbyterians gathered for lunch was a dramatic high point during the annual More Light Churches Network (MLCN) Conference. Here's how Bill Moss, co- moderator of PLGC-DC, described Bohl's address the next day during worship at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Washington, DC: "He delivered a very affirming message. He said that one of this greatest challenges this past year as Moderator is dealing with a nasty meanness among Presbyterians. He said that he has received his 290th complaint this past week -- 90 of those because he was to speak at the MLCN conference. He delivered a message of reconciliation. He said that 'reconciliation in the body of Christ is our only hope.' He said a real challenge to us all is to achieve reconciliation with a people that doesn't want to be reconciled. "He challenged us to pray and to keep the door open. Bohl quoted James Baldwin, 'Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it is faced.' He went on to say, 'Is there hope for reconciliation? Yes but it is not somebody else's job. Don't believe someone is going to do your job for you. You have to be your own advocate.' He further pointed out that justice takes a long time to come, but we must continue the battle for reconciliation. Bohl's message was received with a standing ovation." Here is the report on the conference from the Presbyterian News Service: More Light Conference Seeks a Balance Between Hope and Pain by Alexa Smith, *News Briefs, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)*, Issue No. 9521, May 26, 1995. Baltimore, Md. -- How to work for ordination of gays and lesbians in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and be sensitive to the worries, fears and arguments of those who oppose it was a recurring theme at the More Light Conference here April 28-30 -- a conference that drew more than double its usual attendance. The More Light Network is an alliance of 67 PC(USA) churches that openly ordain gays and lesbians, defying -- and causing debate as to the authority of -- this particular denominational policy [to ban such ordinations]. "There's incredible uncertainty [about] what's going to happen next, and we are really trying to listen to what the Spirit is leading us to do," the Rev. Laurene Lafontaine, a parish associate and gay rights activist in Denver [and also PLGC's national co-moderator!], told the Presbyterian News Service. "We're asking: How do we bring folks to the table and be at the table together? ... That is a very hopeful thing, with a lot of pain," she said, characterizing the "radical right" as often fencing from the table those who do not share their point of view. And models for coping with fear and conflict in the midst of very tense debate about homosexuality, scripture and polity emerged over and over again in workshops and worships as participants sought how to balance pain and hope in congregational life. "It's really learning to live together," conference coordinator Dick Hasbany of Eugene, Ore., told the Presbyterian News Service, insisting congregations do not have to have uniformity of opinion on how to stay together. "Like in a tough marriage ... in More Light churches there are people who would not have voted to be More Light." Hasbany believes the denomination already has models for coping with this kind of congregational tension in its More Light churches. "No one," he said, "is to be shut out. Not even the people who would shut us out. ... "I hope the denomination does not see an exodus on either side. I think the Spirit moves toward our living together," said Hasbany firmly. "That's the harder thing." In workshops on preparing congregations for change, the Rev. Alice Anderson of Washington, D.C., focused on how to achieve lasting change. She said that the process requires even those who are pushing for change to be open to change themselves and to cease seeing those who disagree as enemies. "You have something to teach and they [those who disagree] have something to teach you," she explained, adding that this principle is especially true for Christians who profess that all are made in the image of God. Anderson said resistance to change has to be respected because it is often rooted in previous painful experience. "There's something behind all that emotion ... and you have to figure out what it is," Anderson said, saying resistance often is rooted in pain or fear. Pinpointing the current strong emotion in the denomination is how Moderator Robert W. Bohl moved into his remarks about pain in the PC(USA) -- and its hopes for future reconciliation. "The blend of the human and the Holy Spirit is a unique blend. The cost of hate is more expensive each day. ... "Is there any hope for reconciliation? There is. But it is not someone else's job," said Bohl, the first standing moderator to address the network. Bohl said scripture says vengeance belongs to God alone. "Thank God," he said, and summed up his remarks by saying, "When all your wishes and desires will come -- only God knows that. Justice takes a long time to come." The Rev. Nancy Wilson, pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Los Angeles, contrasted the hope and pain of the gay and lesbian community with that of the imprisoned but still singing Paul and Silas in Acts 16, an irony that led to the conversion of their jailer. "Sing for joy in your chains, even in the midst of the prison of homophobia. Sing for joy because you know the truth has made you free. Sing loud enough so the other prisoners can hear you," said Wilson, attesting that such witness to the power of God's love may even free jailers from "ignorance and fear." Wilson said the source of real heartbreak for mainline gays and lesbians, however, is not "our vicious enemies ... but our cowardly friends." She said credible scriptural scholars refute arguments that the Bible condemns homosexuality, but the church refuses to teach what it knows. "Your job," she told the More Light conference attendees, "is to help make the suffering visible ... and then make it stop. And this is a costly challenge." Hasbany said many unnecessarily fear that ordaining gays and lesbians simply "open[s] the floodgates" for acceptance of all kinds of behavior. But that is contradicted, he said, by the experience of actual More Light congregations who adhere to standards of behavior for leadership. "Talk with some people who are not gays and lesbians ... and [some who are] gays and lesbians" in More Light congregations, he said. Membership is rooted in a profession of faith in Jesus Christ, and conduct is governed by the "Book of Order," Hasbany said. "It's not 'anything goes' at all. ... "If people want to see the reality, there are models in the denomination," he said. "They're just congregations. Some work real well. Some not so well." But, Hasbany said, they have enough faith in their strength as congregations to deal with uncomfortable issues -- not just sexuality. "They made themselves vulnerable to conflict, felt it was essential in their life." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Resources for the Dialogue Homosexuality in the Church: Both Sides of the Debate. Jeffrey S. Siker, editor; Westminster John Knox Press, 1994. xvii+211 pp. $14.99 (paperback). ISBN 0-664-25545-0. Reviewed by Jud van Gorder. "We are not talking here . . . about some objective 'issue' out there, but about real people," says the editor. So I think the title as well as the text of this book needs review. "Homosexual *Persons* in the Church" would do better. And, "Both Sides"? Mr. Siker acknowledges there are more than two unified camps, but two general schools: "those who advocate that all homosexual relationships are in some way less than what God intends for human beings, to the point of being sinful before God, and those who advocate that homosexual relationships can be as fulfilling and as legitimate before God, and therefore as blessed by God, as heterosexual relationships (p. xvi)." The editor arranged the work in six parts; "Reflecting On: Scripture, Tradition, Moral Reasoning, Scientific Reasoning, and Experience;" concluding with "Making Decisions." He invited 13 contributing authors besides himself, of "relatively moderate perspectives." No one here calls for putting gays to death as a command of the Bible, or proselyting 'breeders' because Gay is Great. (In this review, I am using the term 'gay' to cover homosexual persons of both genders.) Under each topic, one writer presents a traditional religious case followed by another challenging that tradition. (Yes, two parts have an extra participant.) The writers represent several Christian denominations, and clearly the arguments cut across those lines. Admittedly, most of the essays are by heterosexuals, and only two of the authors are women. Almost all the material is reprinted from previous publication, though some has been updated for this volume. Each essay is followed by questions for discussion, which this reviewer found too general and generally inadequate. An appendix of selected denominational statements on homosexuality is included, plus a bibliography. The primary audience for this book are those "interested in participating in constructive discussions and dialogues about the significance of the presence of lesbian and gay Christians within the church (p. xv)." After reading the text, I would say it focuses rather on "whether and how gays and lesbians can be in the church, and under what conditions they are Christian." Most of the 'traditionalists' tolerate homosexual orientation, but not practice; though Cardinal Ratzinger pronounces that "although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil, and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder (p. 40)." I cannot be a completely objective reviewer; for me, the gay- friendly 'side' has better exegesis, theology, ecclesiology, psychology, reasoning, and is more evangelical. Particularly, these are the authors likely to offer personal reconsideration with regard to the issue. Recognizing my bias, I sought to focus on what I could learn from those with whom I disagree, and whom I believe to misread the evidence. They make true points: the Church does have a magisterial function to warn against easy delusions; but that sword cuts both ways. What the men of old said should not be ignored; but they miss the centrality of Jesus Christ as the Living Word of God. The unity of the Church is primary; but gay people are not the only ones who must sacrifice on the cross toward that end. Here are some examples that stuck in my mind -- and craw: Joe Dallas (of Genesis Counseling) expresses pastoral concern for the plight of ego-dystonic homosexuals, whom conservative churches often fail, and gay advocates ignore. But then he tosses in a remark about those who find it easier to change the Bible than their behavior (p. 139; not a direct quote, but my understanding of his message). Stanton Jones, Chair of the Psychology Department at Wheaton College, explores current studies in the behavioral sciences, and finds they "do not hold the answers to church deliberations" on the issue. Then he and his co-author conclude, "But as Christians, we believe that genital homosexual acts are immoral (p. 104)." This is scientific reasoning? The challenger in this same area agrees that genetic, biologic, and psychologic findings are inconclusive; and irrelevant. For the Church, this is a matter of faith, and the crux is expressed in parallel quotes. John McNeill (a former Jesuit priest) says: "Only a sadistic God would create hundreds of thousands of humans to be inherently homosexual and then deny them the right to sexual intimacy (p. 53)." Jones (and Don Workman, a clinical psychologist) say: "It seems inconceivable that God would create us with a drive that must be expressed for wholeness and at the same time put up a wall stifling its expression (p. 107)." Parallel quotes, yes; but contrasting inferences. McNeill believes such a church has the wrong God; Jones/Workman believe genital expression is not essential to our well-being. (One wonders if they apply this wisdom to themselves. It does not accord with I Corinthians 7:1-7.) We are defined by our sexual orientation, and by our commitment of faith. Our awareness of how these can be integrated should surely be part of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)'s process of study and dialogue toward the 1996 General Assembly. This book is not intentionally part of that process, but I suspect the editor had it in mind. Jeffrey Siker is a Presbyterian minister and New Testament Professor (at Loyola Marymount in Los Angeles). Chris Glaser is another contributor. Jack Rogers, Vice-President and Theology Professor at San Francisco Theological Seminary, writes one of the essays on "Making Decisions." The editor wrote the other, and in his preface gives special thanks to Glaser and Rogers for their help in shaping this volume. Rogers' article, "Sex, Philosophy, and Politics: How and what the Church Must Decide in the Debate over Ordination of Homosexuals," is directed toward Presbyterians, and worth a more detailed look. He says sexuality is a serious and divisive issue because it represents our overall perspective on human reality, thus subconsciously carries a lot of freight. In posing some questions to a mainstream church, he reminds us of the guidelines for Biblical interpretation adopted by both parents of the P.C.(U.S.A.) (which do seem to have been forgotten by many), and our history of diversity in unity. He proposes steps toward community understanding in order to craft a moral consensus. There are clear norms of human behavior, but apparent sexual exceptions and alternative family arrangements possible that do not invalidate the rules. He hopes for a "centrist compromise." Rogers does not want a short-term win by either 'side' in '96. The Church would be harmed, and Christ divided; we have not yet laid the groundwork for an enduring decision acceptable to most. Our interim decision must enable us to move with flexibility into the future, providing freedom of conscience and integrity of standards. In other words (namely, mine): punt, and wait for More Light. At the end, he really does not risk saying what we must decide. I find two major flaws in his otherwise respectable piece. He fails to note that if the '96 G.A. does nothing, one side wins by default; the screws of polity are already in place, and being tightened on Presbyterian gays. And, it is most regrettable that he uses sexual misconduct by heterosexual clergy as an excuse for delay in accepting homosexual behavior "without any acknowledged boundaries (pp. 168-69)." This book does provide plenty of ammunition for our debate -- and I'm afraid that's how it may be used: as ammunition. McNeill (pp. 52-53) quotes reasons for the puzzling absence of serious moral debate within mainstream churches. Churches have a therapeutic mentality which equates debate with conflict or coercion, while they prefer pragmatism and privacy. All the positions and most of the insights in this book were available to the 1978 General Assembly, and it could have chosen a 'centrist compromise.' By next year will the faith of commissioners have grown more than the accumulated hardening and weariness since '78? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * BECAUSE GOD CARES You Need PANdemic The Newsletter of the Presbyterian AIDS Network NEWS for Presbyterians about HIV/AIDS Ministry, Education and Advocacy through Model Ministries Personal Stories Conferences Networking Resources Services and PAN's work in General Assembly, AIDS National Interfaith Network and Council of Religious AIDS Networks Six Issues -- $10.00 a year Send name, address and phone/fax numbers for gift or personal subscriptions to: PAN: Presbyterian AIDS Network % PHEWA, 100 Witherspoon St., Rm. 3041 Louisville, KY 40202-1396 PAN is one of ten networks of the Presbyterian Health, Education & Welfare Association, a related ministry of the National Ministries Division, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Membership in PHEWA/PAN is $35.00 and includes a subscription to *PANdemic*. We urge you to become a member of PHEWA/PAN. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THIS HURTS! [This is the text of a full-page ad that appeared in the *Virginia Pilot* (largest newspaper in Southern Virginia, serving Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Suffolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, and the surrounding area). Reprinted here with many thanks, and with permission!] * "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." (Pat Robertson fund raising letter, quoted in the *Virginia Pilot*. 8/27/93) * "Many of the people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexual ... the two seem to go together." (Pat Robertson, 700 Club, 9/94) * "You (homosexuals) are in league with Satan in the cult of death" (CBN chaplain Mark Johnston, 2/1/95). * 94% of gays and lesbians in a nationwide study reported personal experience of some sort of anti-gay violence. * One- third of American teens who commit suicide are lesbian or gay. * 39% of victims of verbal anti-gay harassment reported references to God, religion or the Bible. * Lesbians and gays are not protected under Virginia's hate crimes statutes. THIS HEALS! "Whoever comes to me I won't turn away." (Jesus as quoted in John 6:37) * "The church ... must affirm that every human life is a reflection of divinity, and that every act of injustice mars and defaces the image of God in man." (Martin Luther King, Jr. 1967) * "You have already been told what is right and what Yahweh wants of you. Only this, to do what is right, to love loyalty and to walk humbly with your God." (Hebrew prophet as quoted in Micah 6:8) * "All beings have the same right to happiness and freedom from suffering." ( Dali Lama, 1994) * "The church must include all people, regardless of gender, culture, ethnic origin or sexual orientation." (Archbishop Desmoind Tutu, 1995). HATE HURTS EVERYONE! [The following material appears in a side box under the Bearing Witness logo:] Bearing Witness, c/o New Life MCC, P.O. Box 1026, Norfolk, VA 23501, phone: 804-855-8450 On Wednesday, February 15, the Rev. Dr. Mel White was arrested at the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) on trespass charges while attempting to make an appointment with Pat Robertson to discuss violence against lesbians and gays. On each of White's 22 days in jail, representatives from Bearing Witness, a coalition of concerned lesbian and gay religious leaders with their friends and allies, visited CBN and attempted to arrange a meeting on White's behalf. Robertson finally visited White in jail on March 8 and dropped the charges. During this visit, he promised to consider meeting with a group from Bearing Witness to discuss the human side of the issue of violence and hate directed towards lesbians and gays. After ten weeks of attempting to negotiate such a meeting, we feel no closer to our goal. Now that a private meeting feels impossible, we are going public with this ad to share our concerns. We believe there is a direct connection between violence against lesbians and gays and the incendiary rhetoric coming from Robertson. We ask the community to join us in pressuring for a stop to this rhetoric of hate and untruths. The Truth Will Prevail ______________________________ 1. *Hostile Climate*, 1994, People for the American Way. 2. Letter from Mel White in the Virginia Beach City Jail, Feb. 17, 1995. 3. 1994 National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, "Anti-Gay Lesbian Victimization Report." 4. *Violence Against Lesbians and Gay Men*, Gary David Comstock, Columbia University Press, 1991. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *