Date: Wed, 29 Mar 95 12:26:23 EST From: "James D. Anderson" MORE LIGHT UPDATE March 1995 Volume 15, Number 8 Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns James D. Anderson, Communications Secretary P.O. 38 New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038 908/249-1016, 908/932-7501 (Rutgers University) FAX 908/932-6916 (Rutgers University) Internet: janderson@zodiac.rutgers.edu Note: * is used to indicate italicized or boldface text. CONTENTS CHANGES REQUESTS IN MEMORIAM EVENTS PUBLICATIONS FEATURES Walk With Me: A Ceremony of the Heart, by Chris Glaser Passing Through The Door: All Saints Sunday/Janie Spahr Celebration Service, Louisville Kentucky, November 6, 1994, by Jim Oxyer More Than Salt And Light, by Paul Slaikeu -- PLGC worship service, Twin Cities, Minnesota God Is Teaching God's People a New Thing: A Letter from Parents to PLGC leadership I Was in Prison and You Came to Me -- *Matthew 25:36*: PLGC's Ministry of Correspondence, by David A. Kurtz Silver Spring Declares More Light Church Unfurls Rainbow Flag Dialogue Catch-22 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * CHANGES Bill Capel, our PresbyNet coordinator, and also the Co-Moderator for Administration of the More Light Churches Network, has a new address: 123-R W. Church St., Champaign, IL 61820-3510. Jack Huizenga, co-coordinator for the Synod of Mid-Atlantic, has returned to his condo following the rebuilding after a fire last winter. He is resuming his former home telephone number: 410/268-7244. His address remains the same. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * REQUESTS Help PLGC Prepare for General Assembly Help Identify Friendly Commissioners Please help PLGC identify friendly commissioners to the 1995 General Assembly. As soon as your presbytery elects commissions, please let us know the names of those who support us. Send information to: Scott Anderson, PLGC Issues Coordinator, 5805 20th Ave., Sacramento, CA 95820, 916-456-7225 home, 916-442-5447 work. Or email a message on Presbynet to: SCOTT ANDERSON, or via the internet to: scott_anderson.parti@ecunet.org * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * IN MEMORIAM We remember and mourn the passing of PLGC members, friends and supporters, including those we note here. John Boswell John Boswell, "a Yale University historian who upended medieval scholarship by finding not only that homosexuality was tolerated in the Middle Ages but that same-sex unions were celebrated liturgically, died Saturday [December 24] in the Yale infirmary. He was 47 years old" -- *The New York Times.* Boswell's books include *Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the 14th Century* (1980) and *Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe* (1994). A major aim of his scholarship was "to rebut the common idea that religious belief -- Christian or other -- has been the cause of intolerance in regard to gay people." Boswell, a Roman Catholic, was also a good friend of West Hollywood Presbyterian Church, where he spoke at two annual Lazarus Conferences, sharing results of the research that led to his major books. Boswell's research offers one of the greatest challenges to the Christian Church's current oppressive stance against gay men and lesbians. Thomas P. Stewart The Rev. Thomas P. Stewart, senior pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Buffalo, died suddenly on Wednesday, December 21, 1994. He was to have retired on January 8, 1995. Stewart was well-known as an activist and was many times in the forefront of movements for civil rights, abortion rights, gay rights and interfaith understanding. Under his leadership, in 1984-85 Westminster Church fought for the right to be a More Light Church in the first anti-gay court case to reach the Permanent Judicial Commission of the General Assembly since "definitive guidance" was adopted in 1978. -- *Based on the Newsletter of Buffalo/Niagara Chapter of Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG).* Jeffrey Thompson Jeffrey Thompson, Presbyterian minister and long-time PLGC member, died November 6, 1994 in New Albany, Ohio. He served Trinity Church in New York City and Northminster Church in Columbus Ohio, as well as Christ United Evangelical Church, a congregation with a special outreach to the lesbian and gay community that met in Northminster's building. He was a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary. Terry Troxell Terry Troxell, long-time member of PLGC and of West Hollywood Presbyterian Church, where he served as elder, deacon and clerk of session, died January 5, 1995. For many years, Terry was a faithful member of the PLGC contingent at general assemblies. In recent years he was also active in PAN, the Presbyterian AIDS Network, serving as secretary and member of the leadership team. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * EVENTS Gay, Lesbian, and Christian: Celebrating Our Challenges, Kirkridge, Bangor, PA, June 8-11, 1995. We are invited to celebrated who we are: people with faith in a loving Creator, gifted les/bi/gay persons, rainbow people united in worshipping God. In a world where being Christian makes us strangers in many les/bi/gay communities and being the lavender people often means not being welcome in houses of faith, we are invited to let our experiences of exclusion assist us in reaching out to all in pain, in standing for justice, in building havens of peace and re-creation, in celebrating life. With that focus the 19th annual event for lesbian, gay men, and bisexuals of all colors, their families and friends, will continue to explore issues of sexuality in the context of Christian faith and practice. The process includes daily worship, presentations, small group sharing, workshops, play, and celebration. We combine support for our personal journeys with encouragement from the scriptural, theological, ethical, and political work of our presenters. Each year we build a les/bi/gay church on the mountain. It is a community of tears and laughter, healing and empowerment, love and joy, a community empowered to celebrate life. Led by: John McNeill, Catholic priest, psychotherapist, co- founder of Dignity, and author of *Taking a Chance on God*, and a new book (January 1995); Virginia Mollenkott, feminist theologian, board member of the Center for Sexuality and Religion, and author of *Sensuous Spirituality*; Lisa Anderson, Ph.D. candidate in Black & Womanist Theology at Union Theological Seminary in New York City; and Chris Glaser, Presbyterian pastor and author of *Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their families and Friends*, and *The Word Is Out*. 7 p.m. Thursday dinner through Sunday lunch, $295 ($150 registration deposit). Contact Kirkridge, Bangor, PA 18013-9359, 610/588-1793. 24th Annual Thornfield Workshop on Sexuality: Female and Male Gender, Orientation and Lifestyles, July 10-16, 1995 For professionals/graduate students in the helping professions as well as individuals or couples interested in personal growth. Topics include "sexuality & spirituality," William Stayton, Th.D., "Gay Issues in the Workplace," Brian McNaught. Workshop with Room and Board, $875 ($825 before June 1). For information, contact Alison McCain Deming, Director, Box 447, Fayetteville, NY 13066, 315/637-8990. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * PUBLICATIONS If you would to write an *Update* review of any of these books (1-2 pages), please let Jim Anderson know! **Equal Rites: Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies, and Celebrations.** Editors Kittredge Cherry, Zalmon Sherwood. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, c1995. 167 p. $14.99. ISBN 0-664-25535-3. "A much-needed collection of worship services and celebrations that is attuned to the unique needs of sexual minorities. The rites, written primarily by lesbians and gay men, focus on spiritual beginnings, healing, blessings, holy communion, and pride and empowerment. Also included are funeral and memorial services, seasonal and holiday rites, and covenant ceremonies for couples. More than a collection, it is also a reference book for creating unique and meaningful worship services that address significant aspects of lesbian and gay spirituality. Contributors include Marilyn McCord Adams, Lindsay Louise Biddle, Malcolm Boyd, Steve Carson, the Cathedral Project, Kittredge Cherry, Colleen Darraugh, Elias Farajaje-Jonez, D. B. Gregory Flaherty, Darlene Garner, Chris Glaser, Carter Heyward, Louis F. Kaver, James Lancaster, Eric H. F. Law, Nathan Meckley, Stephen J. Moore, Christine Nusse, Diann L. Neu, Sylvia Perez, Troy D. Perry, Michael S. Piazza, A. Stephen Pieters, Zalmon Sherwood, James E. Snight, Jr., Jane Adams Spahr, Paul A. Tucker, Carol A. West, and Nancy Wilson." -- *Based on publisher's blurb.* **Homosexuality in the Church: Both Sides of the Debate.** Jeffrey S. Siker, editor. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, c1994. 211 p. $14.99. ISBN 0-664-25545-0. "Authorities on scripture, tradition, reason, biology, ethics, and gendered experience discuss one of the most divisive debates in the church today: the place of homosexuals in the community of faith. Each perspective is explored by two writers -- one more traditional, the other challenging tradition. Contributors include Richard B. Hays, Victor Paul Furnish, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, John J. McNeill, Lisa Sowle Cahill, James B. Nelson, Stanton L. Jones and Don E. Workman, Chandler Burr, Joe Dallas, Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, Chris Glaser, Jack Rogers, and Jeffrey S. Siker." -- *Back cover.* The book is dedicated to "the gay and lesbian Christian community, especially Dan Smith, Lisa Bove, Jelka Jonker, and West Hollywood Presbyterian Church, who have taught me much about the gospel." Editor Siker concludes the collection with: "In conclusion, I would argue that the Bible does not give us clear guidance regarding inclusion of gays and lesbians in the Christian community, but it does give us clear guidance regarding the inclusion of those who, even to our surprise, have received the Spirit of God and join us in our Christian confession." Monday Morning: A Magazine for Presbyterian Leaders. Published twice monthly except during June, July, and August, when published monthly. General Assembly of the PC(USA), Room 5420B, 100 Witherspoon St., Louisville, KY 40202-1396, $12 per year. Talk about dialogue, *Monday Morning* consists mostly of opinion pieces submitted by its readers. You get reasoned analysis and diatribes on every issue facing the church. Highly recommended - - Jim Anderson. Here are some recent good articles on our issues: "Why It's Such a Hard Issue," by Carl Rosenblum, Pastor, Broadway Church, New York, NY, 59(17):8-9; 24 October 1994. "Straight or gay, to some degree homophobia is part of our thinking. Like racism, it is often unconscious until confronted." "Stones and Snakes": by Charles Mitchell, Honorably Retired [minister], Presbytery of New York City, New York, NY (and one of PLGC's coordinators for the Synod of the Northeast!), 59(17): 12- 14; 24 October 1994. "This elevation of sex to the primary category of our concern is at the heart of a great deal of negative evangelism directed toward gay people. . . . This amendment to the Directory for Worship [to prohibit participation in the blessing of same-sex unions] attempts to silence those who are able to give the bread of life and to force everyone in the church to give stones instead." "That Essential Ingredient," by David K. McMillan, Pastor, Overbrook Church, Philadelphia, PA, 59(18): 17-18; 7 November 1994. "I write to offer a modest proposal to help us take the next step in the homosexual ordination battle. . . . I firmly advocate the total inclusion of gay and lesbian persons in the life of the church. Ordination should not be denied because of sexual identity. . . . What can I live with, short of this standard? At this time I can live with silence -- no general position. This would allow the local presbytery to adhere to standards that it feels are appropriate." "Let's Not Restrict God," by James S. R. Tippens, Honorably Retired, Efland, N.C., 59(18): 19-20; 7 November 1994. "This amendment [to prohibit participation in the blessing of same-sex unions] seeks to divide sincere Christians who happen to see things differently. Our diversity is our strength. Let us defeat this amendment." Church & Society. Published by the National Ministries Division, PC(USA) to provide a forum for the church on subjects of social concern for Christians. Bimonthly. $12/yr., $30/3 yrs. Order from Church & Society, 100 Witherspoon St., Louisville, KY 40202- 1396. The January/February 1995 issue focuses on "Violence: Roots, Realities, Redemption," and includes an article by Chris Glaser: "On Specks, Logs, and Baseball Bats: Violence Against Lesbians and Gay Men," 85(3): 63-68; Jan.-Feb. 1995. "Studies have indicated a correlation between strongly held religious views and the likelihood of engaging in violence against gay people. . . . Christians may take pride in 'hating the sin, not the sinner.' Yet when homosexual persons overcome the societal norms of the dominant heterosexual society, experience self- acceptance and self-revelation, and come out to others, what ensues is usually increased discrimination and ostracism." The Bible and Homosexuality, 4th edition, by the Rev. Michael E. England, Chi Rho Press, P.O. Box 7864, Gaithersburg, MD 20898, 301/670-1859, $5.95, 6 or more for $4.50 each. "Our very best seller ever! Many thousands of this book are in circulation. The 4th edition has used recent scholarship to update England's excellent study of the traditional scripture verses that have been used to condemn homosexuality." -- *Publisher's blurb.* Only one of many useful resources available from Chi Rho Press. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FEATURES Walk With Me A Ceremony of the Heart by Chris Glaser Copyright (c) 1995 by Chris R. Glaser. All rights reserved. Permission granted for non-profit duplication. *Walk with me . . . I will walk with you, and build the land that God has planned where love shines through . . . .** What a beautiful sentiment! A beloved friend, United Methodist minister John Rice, composed the hymn years ago that includes this refrain, naming the tune GLASER to express his regard. Could there be anything more loving and blessed and holy than to invite someone to walk with you, especially for a lifetime? Yet sadly, the Presbyterian Church must not think so, for it dares now to debate whether ministers should be forbidden to bless gay and lesbian unions. For a long time the church has been content to consider our *sexual acts* sinful. Now some in the church want to go further: condemn our loving covenants. Wouldn't it be better if we commended and celebrated any two people who enter into a covenant before God to love one another? What an accomplishment such commitment is these days! The church formerly celebrated such loving covenants, as Yale University professor John Boswell has undeniably demonstrated in his recent and final book, *Same Sex Unions In Premodern Europe*. Heterosexual marriages were still being performed by civil authorities when the church began blessing same-gender couples in ceremonies that honored their "love without pretense" and their loyalty to one another and to God in rites of spiritual brotherhood and sisterhood. Whether such relationships included sexual acts may be unprovable but is ultimately irrelevant, since the church is about the business of promoting and blessing love and commitment, not specific sexual acts. Now, in the midst of supposed dialogue on homosexuality in our church, there are Presbyterians eager to pass an amendment to the Book of Order forbidding ministers from participating in same-gender ceremonies. Friends who meditate on the Book of Order as diligently as if it were the Bible tell me that this would be the first prohibition placed on Presbyterian ministers in our sacred law. They also point out that the added sentence comes at the end of the discussion on marriage, implying that the purpose of the whole section on marriage is solely to justify this prohibition! Jesus opposed the legalists of his day who believed that their entire religious duty amounted to enacting and submitting to prohibitions. "Thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and your neighbor as yourself" superseded for Jesus the "Thou shalt nots . . . ." Jesus also transformed the golden rule of many cultures, "Do not do unto others what you do not want them to do unto you" into the affirmative, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Ormewood Park Presbyterian Church in Atlanta loves the Lord its God with all of its heart, mind, and soul. You can tell this whether you join them for early Sunday morning contemporary worship or late Sunday morning traditional worship. You can also discern that this congregation loves its neighbors as itself when you are warmly welcomed as a newcomer or attend the monthly meetings of SAND -- South Atlanta Neighborhood Development -- held there. My lover Mark and I never had a doubt of the welcome of this church when we moved to the Ormewood Park neighborhood, from informal chatting over coffee before service to the hugs and kisses of "The Greeting" which is a formal part of the services. We also recognized the sincere faith of its membership, from the dialogue that follows the sermon to the prayers of the people. I must admit that I was tempted by the formality of larger churches and manuscript sermons. But for Mark's re- entry into the church, the low-key liturgy, conversational sermons, gregarious pastor, and friendly parishioners made Jesus Christ more accessible and faith more possible. I found myself laughing in church more, feeling closer to other worshipers, and able to hold Mark's hand during prayer. And so we pledged, then joined, in that order. In between, we had "a ceremony of the heart." Mark and I had long talked of having a ceremony to solemnify our commitment to one another. When we learned our new pastor had led such a service for a lesbian couple in their backyard with the unanimous approval of the Session, we felt encouraged to open conversation with Rev. Peter Denlea about the possibility. Except we wanted to have our service in the sanctuary. I remembered a recent conversation I had had with a member of Southside Presbyterian Church of Tucson, Arizona. (Southside, you'll recall, was investigated years ago by the federal government for its leadership in the Sanctuary movement, harboring and transporting illegal immigrants, and its pastor, Rev. John Fife, was convicted for his prophetic role.) This Southside member proudly informed me that her session had allowed the pastor to lead a ceremony for a lesbian couple, but decided it would be more acceptable to the congregation if it were not held in their sanctuary! I politely expressed approval, but I was stunned by the irony that such a church could not extend its metaphor of sanctuary! So how could Mark and I expect a congregation with a far less radical history to open its sanctuary to our commitment? True, they had for years been quietly welcoming gays and lesbians who lived in the neighborhood. But that's a far cry from a public ceremony! Yet once again there was a unanimous session vote, this time to welcome us to use the sanctuary for the ceremony. We invited the whole congregation to attend, and many came, including a few who afterward told us how changed they were from the experience. For the two women, Peter had written a beautiful "Ceremony of the Heart." I was content to use it until Mark told me that he wanted some of my writings in the service. So we blended Peter's service and one I wrote for a new book of lesbian and gay liturgies, *Equal Rites*, to be published by Westminster/John Knox Press this year (Kittredge Cherry and Zalmon Sherwood, editors). We chose Sunday, October 30, 1994 as the date for the ceremony because the National AIDS Skills-Building Conference was being held here in Atlanta that weekend, which meant a number of our friends would already be in town, including the Rev. Howard Warren, whom we asked to co-lead the service. It was truly coincidence -- better, Providence -- that it also happened to be Reformation Sunday. We decided to hold a house blessing immediately following our ceremony to baptize our new home with well- wishing friends and family and a wonderful party. A gay couple who recently had their own ceremony volunteered to prepare the food and the champagne punch. When they asked how many people we expected, we liberally guestimated between 40 and 50, since we are relatively new to Atlanta. Arriving at the empty church before the ceremony, we suddenly thought, "What if nobody comes?" But as we entered the sanctuary later during the prelude played by our friend Michael Morgan, organist at Central Presbyterian, we were astounded to see almost 100 guests! Our joy and our love for one another during the ceremony could hardly be contained. We were beaming, and we wanted to embrace and kiss long before the time for that in the service. Unplanned, we held tightly one another's hand throughout the ceremony. We sang hymns and prayed and read scripture, listened to Howard's homily and Peter's blessings, exchanged vows and rings. The joyful presence of God's Spirit was felt. Something happened within me that I didn't expect. From that day I felt more tenderly toward Mark, more keenly recognizing his sacred worth to God, as well as the sacred nature of our relationship. Certainly it was the equivalent of marriage! God had blessed us! The Atlanta/Journal Constitution would later publish a photo and notice of our commitment ceremony, the only major newspaper that I know to have a policy that provides for such announcements. As a result, the Presbytery of Greater Atlanta received a few calls questioning the church's action. But our opposition was the furthest thing from our minds that day, the day of our ceremony of the heart. The celebration continued as we proceeded to a house blessing and party. During the ritual that our pastor created, friends offered seven symbolic gifts. Appropriately, we invited John Rice to bear the bottle of champagne that represented lightheartedness. He and Brian had driven down from Knoxville and spent Saturday night with us, prompting a spontaneous bachelors' party at a local pub. Yet little more than a week later, that lightheartedness turned to heavyheartedness as we learned that John was killed in a freak traffic accident. Two days after, I spoke at Columbia Theological Seminary and, during the question-and-answer period, a woman asked how she could help her home congregation effectively help a gay member whose partner had died in an accident. Amazed at the coincidence, I asked her where she was from. "Knoxville," she answered. The church she referred to was the church that John and Brian attended together, where many did not know them as a couple. She was asking how she could help not only Brian, but also help the congregation unaware of the greatness of Brian's loss. The contrast struck me. Were something to happen to either Mark or me, our congregation would better know how devastating the other's loss would be. Also, if Mark and I were having difficulties, our congregation would better know of our need for their support. That is the blessing of having our congregation bless us in a ceremony of the heart. Our congregation has chosen to walk with *us*. Just before Christmas, John Boswell, who gave us the historical basis for celebrating same-sex unions, died of complications of AIDS. I believe the Christian church is unaware of the greatness of our loss, the loss to the lesbian and gay Christian movement. John Boswell not only *authenticated* but also *practiced* "a love without pretense" toward God and toward us -- those with whom he chose to walk. If only the church could believe and pray and sing and reverence love without pretense as Jesus taught and as John Rice put into his lyrics: *Walk with me . . . I will walk with you, and build the land that God has planned Where love shines through.* ___________________________ *"Walk With Me," words and music by John S. Rice, all rights reserved. Used by permission. Contact Worship Works: National Worship Resource Network, 10619 Alameda Drive, Knoxville, TN 37932, USA. ___________________________ [Photo Caption] Mark and Chris on their front porch before the ceremony. Photo taken by Harold King, Mark's dad. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Passing Through The Door All Saints Sunday/Janie Spahr Celebration Service Louisville Kentucky, November 6, 1994 by Jim Oxyer My name is Jim Oxyer and I'm queer. I was asked to share some thoughts tonight about coming out. We hear of people who have come out. People talk about others who "need to." But what is it? I can remember as a child being raised in a Baptist church hearing people talk about the day and hour they were "born again" and I wonder sometimes if people keep track of the day and hour they "came out." It's not that simple. Coming out is a process, a journey. It happens on a continuum, and everybody, everybody here, is in a different place on this journey. Whether lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgendered, strait, or queer -- your presence here tells me everyone here is somewhere on the journey of coming out. Coming out is a process of affirming oneself, and revealing oneself to friends, colleagues, co-workers, supervisors, teachers, students, siblings, parents, children, spouses, neighbors, religious leaders and communities. Every time one of us comes out we challenge somebody else to come out and affirm us, and the ripples in the pond grow wider. I can remember in the late seventies dancing in a small gay bar in Spokane, Washington, where I hung out during my college years. One evening a song was played where Diana Ross proclaimed with much gusto: "I'm coming out." The faster the song climbed on the charts the more the rumors were that Diana Ross was coming out of the closet. Closeted businessmen and cowboys would request the song at the bar over and over so they could enthusiastically scream along with the song as they danced. Most of these men would never have admitted to anyone outside of this group that they had ever been to one of Spokane's gay bars, would never dream of telling their parents, colleagues or spouses that they were gay, and they needed a role model to come out for them. Some of these men would dance themselves into a frenzy of hope that tomorrow, or soon anyway, they would read the headlines that Diana Ross had declared herself a lesbian. They needed someone to vicariously come out for them, since they could never come out to any one else, and many were having problems even affirming themselves. Many never move beyond this stage. Fear keeps a solid lock on that closet door: fear of rejection, fear of losing job or place to live (basic human needs), fear of violence -- and much of their creative energies are wasted safeguarding the key to the lock on the door. I remember the people in college and seminary who, because I was one of the "out" people at college and seminary, would say to me: "I think my friend is gay and I want to let her or him know that I think that's okay. What can I do to help them come out?" When the community around someone is further along in the journey than the one who is not yet "out" the dynamics can be tense. Relationships get strained. We need to affirm those who affirm. And we need to help those who do affirm us affirm themselves. There are parents, who upon being told by their child that they are lesbian, or gay, or bisexual say: "We can accept your lifestyle but don't tell grandma, or Uncle so-and-so, or the pastor, or whomever." There are employers, who when told, say privately: "that's okay with me, just don't let anyone else know -- and don't march in that parade." There are religious leaders who, when told, will privately "affirm" an individual, or couple or parents, but who won't address issues of human sexuality from the pulpit or elsewhere in the congregation for fear of losing their job, and forget about asking about officiating at a holy union or recognizing an anniversary on the flower chart. Coming out is a risky endeavor. I can't promise everyone that there will be community on the other side of the door. It may be even darker on the otherside. At age twelve I was convinced I was the only one who was "this way." At the time I didn't even have a name for it. The people I trusted to start to talk about this were not encouraging: a teacher who told me never to write about that again in class work, a classmate on the farm next to ours half a mile down the road who called me names and then later ran away from home when he himself came out, and a pastor at camp who told me to pray to keep Satan away. I did discover even in the absense of supportive people that there was this "presence" which I felt closest to in the very church which preached damnation for the worst of sinners: homosexuals. I finally had a name for myself and my feelings. It was an odd and confusing process of affirmation and it wasn't until college, when I started being surrounded by a community of affirmation that I began to understand it. I can also still remember vividly the night I watched, with several others, frozen and powerless, as the father and older brother of a 15-year-old boy beat him into a bloody, unconscious, quivering bag of rags in the middle of the street and then drove him away to continue to deal with him at home. The police said it was a family matter and wouldn't do anything. The older brother had been snooping in this teen's room and read his journal where the 15-year-old wondered on the page what his family's response would be if they knew he was gay. He had fled to the house I happened to be visiting that evening because his mother had warned him to get out his house before his father came home. To this day I do not know what happened to this teen whom I didn't even know. He will be one of the many nameless ones in the canon of our struggle. We, as a nation, are outraged tonight at the death of two children by the willful act of their mother, as we should be, but I see little mourning and no outrage at the countless cases of abuse and/or suicide by lesbian and gay youth at the hands of their families. We don't know what's on the other side of the door. The security of the closet is often preferred over the unknown beyond the door. Movement is slow, and frightening. I have to explain to each person along the way that being gay doesn't mean I like wearing dresses, and that I don't want to get into the pants of every man I see, and that it's not because I had a bad experience with a woman, or couldn't find the right woman, and that I'm no different today now that they know than I was yesterday when they didn't know, and that I'm not wanting special treatment, only equal treatment, and that I don't want to recruit their kids, but I would like to model tolerance to their kids, and that my relationship is as valid and unique as theirs, even though I don't have a piece of paper to show it, and that one of us isn't the "man" and the other the "woman" at home and in bed. And I get tired of the same questions and am amazed that somehow even in late 1994 I'm the first person who has come out to them. And friends who I thought were on this journey with me will suddenly tell me things like: "I think I'm going to vote for this candidate because he or she is against teaching about sex and condoms in schools . . ." or "is against special rights," or "is running on a platform against gay marriages," and I wonder if its time to emigrate to New Zealand. We come out and then we have to support those who should be supporting us. Friends and families seem to take longer to catch on and we feel like we are spinning our wheels. Then there is that risk-taking parent, or teacher, or clergyperson who is willing to take a step or two out that door to affirm that they support the rights and gifts of lesbian and gay people. It seems to them the right thing to do even in the face of potentially threatening opposition and it doesn't look any better beyond the door for them either. Frequently they are greeted with distrust from gay and lesbian people, because sometimes people who have started to come out aren't ready to be affirmed. I have had the privilege in the past year to have two friends come out to me as bisexual. One was previously self-identified as gay, the other straight. Listening to their struggles as they come out to friends has given me the unique chance to rethink what coming out is all about. Hearing how the gay friends of the previously identified gay man have rejected him, isolating him, even harassed him in public for being "straight" or going back in the closet, have struck me with sadness, rage and irony. Here this friend of mine, and theirs, is fulfilling, I feel, a God- given mandate to integrate sexuality and spirituality and in the process has discovered more of himself, and is being accused of going backwards. Listening to the formerly identified straight man who is told by very gay-affirming friends that he should stop pretending to be "both" and just admit he is gay, has struck me in similar ways. Here are people who have found in themselves a gift of loving and making love to people based on who they are, not defined by gender, yet are rejected once they cross the threshold of that door. Once that door is opened, the voices from under the bed of our childhood send spine-tingling chills up our backs and we want to retreat to the safety under the covers, yet we know we can't. We can't afford to. What we can find, and can help create for ourselves and for others is community, a community of affirming people who are also on this journey. We don't have to be alone any more. Traveling together we can provide the necessary safety and support which we thought that old dusty closet provided, this time in the growing brightness and warmth of the light which guides our way. And, despite what some religious people would want us to believe, when we open that door and cross over the threshold into the unknown, we also find God. Unlike the myth of Ulysses who travels alone to find himself, the metaphor we share in common is the story of a community of people who respond to God's call to freedom and are led through the unknown with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, as the text says, "to lead them along their way . . . so that they might travel by day and by night" (Exodus 13:21-22). On their journey they encounter God's self-revelation, or coming out, to them. The invitation tonight is to affirm wherever you are on your journey. Are you a gay or lesbian or bisexual person who has begun the journey? Maybe you haven't told anyone else but you have admitted to yourself. Maybe you haven't yet done that. Maybe everyone in the world already knows. You are invited to step across the threshold of this door to symbolically affirm where you are on that journey and challenge yourself to continue the journey of self-revelation and affirmation. Maybe you are not lesbian or gay or bisexual. Your journey is affirming your gay or bisexual or lesbian children or parents or parishioners or friends or colleagues or fellow citizens. Wherever you are in that process of coming out, affirming yourself and risking for other people, you are also invited to cross the threshold of this door to symbolically affirm your journey and challenge yourself to continue the journey of affirmation. I have publicly declared myself queer, which is a political statement which anyone of any sexual orientation can claim. In this affirmation I declare that I will not accept, tolerate, or let go unchallenged, expressions of homophobia, heterosexism, or any other form of second-classing people. I have committed to taking the risk to confront and intervene in private or public expressions which devalue other people or which convey images which are destructive. Perhaps you have or are ready to take such a step of coming out. On your way out of the closet, proclaim your name and then go beyond the closet door. Join, or create, a community of affirmation. Travel together. In the process, I invite you to discover that God is on the other side of each door that you encounter, knocking on that door, inviting you out so that God might be revealed. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * More Than Salt And Light by Paul Slaikeu PLGC worship service, Twin Cities, Minnesota (Text: Matthew 5:13-16) My live-in gardener and life partner, Mark Hartman, raises vegetables. This year we had tomatoes, peppers (bell and hot), onions, and herbs (including cilantro). With a little garlic and some fresh lemon, this provides everything needed for some really good salsa. I am the salsa making person of the house, and my particular variety tends to be heavy on the garlic and cilantro with medium pepper heat. We truly enjoy our salsa. Some people dip tortilla chips in salsa, but we use our chips more as carriers for our salsa. I mention this because it figures into the second text I have chosen for our meditation this evening. We turn to the Gospel according to Mark Hartman chapter 10 verses 12-15. We just read the parallel verses in Matthew's gospel. I, however, prefer Hartman's rendering of these lessons. I prefer Hartman because of the people to whom he was writing. Saint Hartman of Minapolis, like Paul the Apostate of East Vadnais, Minnesota [todays preacher! -- JDA], wrote to the body of believers at Inclusivus in Presbyterus, which in biblical times was located well to the left of General Assemblus in Witchatarsus. Hear these words from Mark. *"You are the salsa of the earth. If your salsa has no spice, it is useless; no chips will be dipped therein.* *"You are part of the rainbow spectrum of humanity. A rainbow spanning the sky cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it in a closet, but rather on a lampstand so that it gives More Light to all. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to God in heaven."* I've heard quite a few "salt and light" sermons in my day, so I decided the best way to spice up this message would be to take a bit of license with the text. However, I believe my fictitious passage is, in fact, a reasonable modernization. Salsa may be a better metaphor for us than salt. When we say salt, we usually think of something that comes in a blue cardboard cylinder, with an image of an umbrella toting girl on the label that bears the words, "when it rains, it pours." However, the salt Jesus spoke of was quite different from our modern salt. There are two major differences. First, our salt is uniform, consistent, and white; its basically 99+% sodium chloride. Their "salt" was not just sodium chloride, it would have contained many other ionic compounds (other salts), as well as insoluble materials, chiefly sand. Think how water can vary in flavor depending on where you draw it from and whether it is filtered. Their salt would have varied likewise, even more so. Secondly, as our salt is just sodium chloride, it cannot lose its flavor. But theirs could. If their "salt" got wet, it would leach out the ionic materials, the real salt, and leave behind the insoluble sand. It might look the same, but it would lose all flavor. The one constant with salt then and now is that it is an essential, basic ingredient or seasoning. Since salsa tends to vary, depending on who makes it, since its flavor can diminish with storage, and since it is a common seasoning in our diets, I believe it would do us good to think along salsa lines when reading this salt passage. Let us now consider light. As with salt, some folks think there is only one kind of light. Even in Jesus' time, was all light the same? There is lamplight, sunlight, moonlight, and so on. Even when it comes to lamplight, are all lamps the same? Do all cast the same amount or quality of light? And we now know that white light is a rich and diverse blending of all colors. In fact, to have white light, all colors must be present, all the way from red to violet. So why am I so opposed to notions of simple salt and light? Salt and light are good images after all. But we are more than salt and light. We are far too diverse a creation to be characterized as simple salt. Salsa, with all the possible variations, may not even be a rich enough image for us. But our modern day salt is, in my mind, definitely too narrow. As lavender Christians, sometimes we hear from other Christians who feel compelled to tell us what flavor we should be. If you were at our last Presbytery meeting, you would have heard ministers and lay leaders on both sides of our ordination issue talk with one another, and with us. Those who oppose ordination of folks like me seem to have it firmly in their minds that they know that homosexuality is a sin, plain and simple, as simple as knowing that salt is salt and tastes salty. Just as simply, in years past, ran the debates on such things as slavery, marriage between races, and the ordination of women. I have had some people tell me that we need to be more quiet on this issue. Too much spice, they say, and no one will eat it. But I say, a little seasoning, not enough to burn but enough to be noticed, is always in order. I have been reading a book that Mark bought a while ago entitled "Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters' First 100 Years." These two sisters, each over 100 years old, recount their lives from the late 1800s to the present. A most interesting portion is the section entitled "Jim Crow Days." Sadie and Bessie were considered "colored," being a mix of white, African American, and American Indian. Their story sounds amazingly similar to many of our own: *"You see, a lot of this Jim Crow mess was about sex, [sound familiar?] about keeping the races separate, so they wouldn't interbreed. Ironically, there were very few white people in those days, especially in the South, who did not have some nigger blood. All these white folks who thought they were above Negroes, well, many of them were not pure white! [sound terribly familiar?] Some knew it, some didn't."* Having a mother who was 7/8ths white, and a pure white grandfather, Sadie and Bessie knew so well how ridiculous the Jim Crow laws were. So, being true to her spiciness, Sadie recounts the following: *"There was a shoe store in Raleigh called Heller's. The owner was a Jewish man, very nice. If you were colored, you had to go in the back to try on shoes, and the white people sat in the front. It wasn't Mr. Heller's fault; this was the Jim Crow law. I would go in there and say 'Good morning, Mr. Heller, I would like to try on those shoes in the window.' And he would say, 'That's fine, Miss Delany, go on and sit in the back.' and I would say, 'Where, Mr. Heller?' And he would gesture to the back and say, 'Back there.' And I would say, 'Back where?'* *"Well I'd just worry that man to death. Finally, he'd say, 'Just sit anywhere, Miss Delany!' And so I would sit myself down in the white section, and smile.* *"Now, Bessie thinks that I shouldn't play dumb like that. She says he must've thought I was the dumbest nigger alive. But I don't care. I got to sit in the white section."* Now that's the salsa of the earth. This is an example of a person who does not hide their unique flavor. Sadie is not exactly overpowering, and that is the great thing about being the salsa you are. Some salsa is mild but flavorful, some is tangy, some is down right hot. Jesus, in Matthew, does not tell us exactly what our seasoning should be, and you can guess that I am not about to make any such statement. Instead I would say that each of us must be the spice that God made us. We are more than salt, we are the salsa of the earth, and of our church. We must resist those within or outside our churches that try to impose uniform saltiness, whatever the excuse. Whether it be in the guise of the PUP (the peace unity and purity) of the church, or some high minded ideals of what sin is and isn't, we must protest. We are not refined salt, WE ARE SALSA! GOD MADE US SPICY AND JESUS COMMANDS US TO STAY SPICY. I have to be very careful here. I know that there are people who might hear this message and think I am calling everyone to be totally out of the closet. But I am not. I pray for the day when there will be no need for closets for anything other than clothes, but I recognize all too well the dangers and risks for certain people to be out. But you can still be salsa even if you are not publicly out as a gay man, lesbian, bisexual, transgender person or friend of any or all of the above. You can still challenge thinking, state your honest views as you are led, and work to help bring about a more tolerant church and world. I cannot tell anyone what God would have them do, any more than I can say that we are all uniform salt. It is upon each of us to search our hearts, to seek the Spirit's guidance, and to pray for the strength to do what God would have us do. I want us to consider one last item before I close. In our church, it seems to me that we lavender Christians might be a bit spicier than our non-lavender counterparts. Why do you suppose this is? I would suggest to you that it is merely because we represent the very real possibility of change within our church. Change, by its very nature, is an exciting, spicy thing. I know well how exciting the prospect of change can be. I was in San Francisco two weeks ago to talk with a company that has expressed an interest in my professional background. The prospect of leaving the only area of the country I have ever lived in is, quite honestly, terrifying. The thought of leaving behind friends and family and a way of life that I understand so well is almost overwhelming. But it is also thrilling. Thinking of the possibility of setting out, to boldly go where no Slaikeu has gone before, has made me feel more alive than I've felt in a while. Whether I go or not, I truly thank God for the opportunity to consider change. So it is, I believe, for the Christian believers at Inclusivus in Presbyterus. We represent the possibility of change, we are spicy salsas, we are unique lights to our churches. **We are the salsa of the earth.** Let us live our faith lives sharing the richness of our seasoning and the splendor of our colors. Amen. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * God Is Teaching God's People a New Thing A Letter from Parents to PLGC leadership: After reading the October issue of *More Light Update*, I want to write to assure you of our support and thank you for your leadership in our denomination in clarifying the issues that need to be faced by our church. And I want to let you know how the Holy Spirit is working like leaven in our lives and in one Presbyterian congregation here in the conservative Midwest. Eight years ago my husband and I would have avoided speaking, even thinking, about the issues or confronting any of the rejection and injustice that lesbians and gays are subjected to in the church. Then our youngest son came out to us at age 28, and we began a slow journey to openness and a deeper understanding of our faith. We are deeply sorry for our own part in permitting homophobia to reign in our society. Four years ago three families in leadership positions in our church "found" each other when we learned that each of us had an adult child who was dear to us, and who was gay or lesbian, and who did not feel they could be welcomed into the fellowship of our congregation if people really knew them. It sure helped when we could talk about this with each other, share our pain, support each other, and eventually determine that we would work to be sure future generations of our youth would not have to spend their years of self-discovery in a dark and lonely closet, or leave their church family to find a loving and accepting community. During the early months of 1993 we suggested to the Issues and Options Committee of Session that our congregation should study the Human Sexuality Report, and a series of five Sunday morning classes drew a large number of interested adults. At the time of the 1993 General Assembly our pastor made a statement supporting the existing official position of the Presbyterian Church, which did not reflect much understanding. So we talked to him (he had known all three families were dealing with this issue personally long before we found each other). We gained his agreement for holding meetings of a support group for parents and friends of gays and lesbians which meets at our church once a month. It is announced in the bulletin and monthly newsletter, and is listed as one of the components of our fledgling small group ministry. We have had 16 meetings to date and see slow but positive results like: * The pastor continues to support our right to meet even when church members object to "those people" using the facilities. * Session members have come to meetings to learn and support. * Members have referred several people from outside our congregation who were dealing with issues personally. * A librarian in the congregation brings us helpful articles appearing in the local alternative publications. * The person who orders helpful pamphlets to display in the narthex shared one by Carenotes, "When Someone you Love is Gay," for our comment and it is now displayed regularly with the other resources. During this past summer three members of the congregation have come to us to talk about homosexual experiences of siblings or more distant relatives. One of these came to our support group and the other two went with us to a PFLAG meeting. Two of us mothers who are in a weekly prayer/bible study group are "out" and others in the group have been supportive and are beginning to be aware of the pain and injustice that are out there for homosexuals. My husband has come out to a group of men (including one who is active in the Presbyterian Lay Committee) who meet weekly at church for breakfast, bible study, and prayer. We find that when our friends put the face of someone they know and respect on the faceless label of "homosexual," their thinking begins to slowly change. I hope this account will be encouraging to you. The changes that are taking place are small, but other people are beginning to have their eyes "opened" and to recognize that much of what our culture teaches about homosexuality is not true. It is a slow process, but "coming out" at the right time is a powerful force and begins to change people's hearts. That is what really counts. It is true that we haven't always found much of a climate for personal growth in our own church. We attend worship once a month with our son in another congregation and share our tithe with that group. It was a high point when we heard Jane Spahr speak here in our town and had an opportunity to meet her. We are active in a local PFLAG chapter, have marched in the last 3 local gay pride marches, attended the concerts of the Gay Men's Chorus. We look forward to some involvement at the Presbytery level, and hope to see you all at General Assembly in Cincinnati. God is teaching his people a new thing. It is no small thing for you to be at the forefront of a revolution that will forever change the world -- in God's time, not ours. Please don't give up! We thank God for you. And we need you to be spokespersons for the gay/lesbian/bisexual community, and to share with us your feelings and pain so we can understand. Sincerely, Patty and Earl Todt, Columbus, Ohio * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I Was in Prison and You Came to Me -- *Matthew 25:36* PLGC's Ministry of Correspondence by David A. Kurtz *The United States has one of the largest populations of incarcerated persons, per capita, in the world. Many incarcerated persons are gay or lesbian; many are HIV positive. For many years, under the leadership of our coordinator for prison ministries Doug Elliott, members of PLGC have befriended incarcerated persons across the country through correspondence. One of the most active participants in this ministry is David Kurtz. He offers us some insights into this ministry. -- JDA* As a gay man who is an ordained minister, I can identify aspects of my life among those we serve -- as a Person with AIDS (PWA), addict/alcoholic, prostitute, and one of the 27% (based on national averages) who live in the wholeness of rehabilitation. I got to this point in my life through a lot of work and a lot of love. The love was offered to me by individuals who took the time out of their lives on the outside to write to me. It began a hope inside of me that some things do change. I began to turn myself around as people continued writing to me, without answers, but wrote only with unconditional love. My hope grew as other people noticed willingness and offered their time. It started with a letter, and I would like to take the time in my celebration of thankfulness to extend an opportunity and invitation to others to write a letter. Over the past 5 years, as I have written to incarcerated individuals who have written to PLGC, more has been brought to me than my encouragements to others could ever match. If you can spare the time and invest 32 cents for a stamp, please give prayerful consideration to writing to someone who is reaching out. (You can get names and address from Doug Elliot or Jim Anderson, both listed on the back of the Update.) To those that make this decision, let me outline a simple list of dos and don'ts: DO what is comfortable, remembering that your letters are the same as if you were writing anyone. If you are uncomfortable using your own address, ask your church for permission to use theirs, or use PLGC's national address, c/o Jim Anderson. DON'T set up an us/them situation (I have never used the word "inmate" and never will). DO extend encouragements in a non-condescending manner. DON'T give your phone number, and DON'T accept collect calls. DO be honest, and DON'T pretend that you know what it's like because you had a friend that got arrested for jaywalking. DO offer an unconditional love. Above all, DON'T ever be involved in *any* financial matters. DO write and DON'T let your fear stop you. Fear is "False Evidence Appearing Real"! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Silver Spring Declares More Light As a result of a Dec. 14 action of its Session, Silver Spring Presbyterian Church (SSPC), 580 University Blvd. E., Silver Spring, Maryland, enters 1995 as a "More Light" congregation. SSPC, a Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) congregation of approximately 275 members, is often known as the "roundtable church" because of its uniquely-built sanctuary "in the round", which the congregation considers to be symbolic of its welcome to all people regardless of color, economic background, marital status, gender, sexual orientation, age, or theological position. Session Resolution Believing wholeheartedly "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39), the Session of Silver Spring Presbyterian Church, National Capital Presbytery, hereby declares this Roundtable Church to be a "More Light" congregation. In so doing, we declare that we have welcomed, and will continue to welcome, all who profess faith in Jesus Christ and wish to join this congregation, into full membership in its life and worship. The Session also affirms, as it has in past actions, its fundamental right, responsibility, and intention to ordain qualified persons to ministry, and otherwise to extend the full responsibilities and benefits of membership without regard to sexual orientation, gender, race, nationality, ethnicity, age, station, or other human condition. By these actions, the Session affirms the common pilgrimhood of all people; the equality of all in Christ; and our common responsibility as Christians to love our neighbors as ourselves, without judgment or condemnation. As Presbyterians, we hereby take special heed of those pillars of our faith that declare that God alone is the lord of the conscience; that through God's grace in Jesus Christ, all are saved; that the Church Reformed is always reforming; and that, in our search for order and as people of God, we are to be eternal friends of justice and implacable foes of injustice. Accordingly, we declare our intention to seek continually more of God's light of truth, particularly in places of disharmony, fear, and brokenness. We further declare our conviction that guidances and rulings of the General Assembly that affect the ordination and status of gay and lesbian people so as to exclude these people from the full responsibilities and benefits of fellowship in the Church, are not consonant with our belief in God's immanence in and the common humanity of all people. Finally, we affirm our intention to work in love and humility toward a denomination which honors God's great gift of diversity by welcoming all people unreservedly in Christ's name. In our experience and belief, discrimination in any of its manifestations necessarily embodies idolatry and tyranny, and engenders chaos and despair; whereas embracing the other in love, humility, and trust -- after the example that Christ has set for us -- engenders greater love, liberty, grace, and Shalom. *For more information, contact Elders Kim Baker (301-949-2716), Billie Ahrens (301-434-9564), Jim Putnam (301-5939010); Interim Pastor Kent Winters-Hazelton, (301-439-4646 church or 202-544- 3312 home; Stan Bliss, a gay clergyperson and a parish associate (202-829-1002); and Sidney Oliver (301-681-4127), who with her partner, Catherine Meschter, attends Silver Spring Presbyterian Church.* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Church Unfurls Rainbow Flag On Sunday, January 29, 1995, Jan Hus Presbyterian Church members will unfurl and dedicate a new rainbow flag at their 11:00 worship service. The 6' x 10' flag will hang outside the church at 351 E. 74th Street, near First Avenue in New York City to welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, and to proclaim the church's inclusive ministry. Jan Hus Presbyterian Church has been a More Light Church since April 26, 1990. More Light Churches have declared that they welcome gay, lesbian and bisexual persons to full participation and leadership, including ordination of elders and deacons. This is in contradiction to the national Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) which has ruled that "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals" may not be ordained. The Jan Hus Presbyterian Church has ordained 19 openly gay, lesbian or bisexual elders and deacons to the church's ministry. Currently several of these serve on the session (the church's ruling board) and the board of deacons (the church's service and ministry board). Funds for the flag were provided by a grant from the Paul Rapoport Foundation. -- Rev. Jan Orr-Harter and Bill Burgin, Jan Hus Presbyterian Church, 351 E. 74th St., New York, NY 10021, 212/288-6743. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dialogue Catch-22 The Permanent Judicial Commission of the Synod of Lakes and Prairies has ruled that the "Covenant for Dialogue in a Protective Environment," adopted by the Presbytery of Des Moines, is "contrary to the constitutional position of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)." In response to the 1993 General Assembly action calling for a three-year churchwide study of sexuality, the presbytery adopted this covenant for the period of the sexuality study, in order "to assure a climate for dialogue which is open and non-incriminating and in order to assure that no testimony given by any person will result in jeopardizing the reputation or standing of any partner in the dialogue." The session of First church, Centerville, Iowa, filed a complaint against the presbytery May 29, alleging an irregularity. Addressing the issue of whether the presbytery's policy "is contrary to the current constitutional position of the PC(USA)," the synod PJC ruled the covenant to be "of no force and effect" inasmuch as it is "in contravention to the Rules of Discipline, D-7.0400." -- Hans Cornelder, *Presbyterian Outlook*, November 7, 1994, p. 3. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *