Subject: Interview with Mel White (long)
From: <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 19 Feb 1996 20:40:36 -0500

an interview with Mel white as published in Open Doors (the Newsletter of 
the Greater Chicago PFLAG Chapters) by Cathy Davis (published with 
permission)Karen Jackson, editor.

OPEN DOORS: WHEN DID YOU FIRST BECOME INVOLVED WITH PFLAG?
Mel White: I don't remember exactly, but everywhere I go there've been 
PFLAG volunteers coming out to help, whether we're marching or fasting or 
in jail--they're always there. When I came back from my 23 days of horror 
in Virginia Beach (where he was jailed for refusing to leave 700 Club 
head quarters until Pat Robertson agreed to see him), there was PFLAG 
with their signs waving, saving "Welcome Home!"...Everywhere we go, it's
PFLAG.
     I dedicated "Stranger at the Gate" to PFLAG because I think it is 
our "bridge across troubled waters." PFLAG is the one hope that gays have 
of walking across to the straight community. PFLAG must succeed.
OPEN DOORS:WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR PFLAG TO DO 
NOW TO BE AS EFFECTIVE AS POSSIBLE?
Mel White: I think you need to recruit. I think that needs to be your 
primary goal. Because when you ask someone to join PFLAG, you ask them to 
make a decision about gay and lesbian people. You force them to face the 
issue when you ask them to join.
OPEN DOORS: ARE YOU SAYING THAT PFLAG SHOULD GO OUT AND RECRUIT OTHERS 
BESIDES PARENTS OF GAYS AN LESBIANS?
Mel White: Yes. Not just parents, but "friends." Maybe there's a United 
Church of Christ in a town that's gay friendly. Every member of that 
church could be a member of PFLAG. before the year is up. I would do a 
church-wide membership. I'd go to every organization in town that's 
gay-freindly and recruit them. We need massive recruiting efforts. 
Because first of all you have a product that's worth selling, and 
secondly, you have a device in the recruitment that is forcing people to 
take a stand. We must force people to come out of the closet who are 
friends and family of lesbians and gays. I think they ought to have a 
million members in a very few years. I think a million members should be 
the goal.
OPEN DOORS: WHAT COULD BE SOME PITFALLS FOR PFLAG? WHAT SHOULD WE BE 
WATCHING OUT FOR GOING INTO THIS BIG "PROJECT OPEN MIND" CAMPAIGN?
Mel White: I'm not sure about pitfalls but if the members of PFLAG can 
keep seeing themselves as the only 911 we, the gay community, have to 
call...as the paramedics of the gay soul...as the last line of 
defense...then whatever internal organizational stuff comes up (and 
internal stuff comes up because we're people), it will not get the best 
of us. As long as PFLAG people can remember how important thy are, they 
will not fall prey to internal stuff. I'm convinced that PFLAG is as 
positive and hopeful a group as there is in the world!
OPEN DOORS: DO YOU THINK THE CHRISTIAN COALITION WILL GO AFTER PFLAG? AND 
DO YOU THINK PFLAG IS PREPARED FOR THEM?
Mel White: When you love as hard as PFLAG people love, nobody can 
dominate you. No angry voices will ever to that. I think PFLAG ought to 
recruit within the Christian Coalition. I think they ought to go right to 
CC meetings and stand up as parents and friends of lesbians and gays and 
say, "We've come because we know you care about children. We want you to 
join with us." They can be both. Christian Coalition isn't the enemy. And 
there are a lot of CC members who love their gay and lesbian children. 
The radical right are friends and family members.
     I would also do petition drives. I think PFLAG ought to have a 
petition that says, "Whatever I think the Bible says about gay and 
lesbian people, they too are Americans and deserve all the right and 
responsibilities of every American." And PFLAG ought to put that down in 
front of every radical right church and have them sign it. If they can't 
sign that, it's a crisis of conscience you are creating. So by taking the 
initiative with a petition like that , you are forcing people to deal 
with the issue positively. I think that the marriage petition that's out 
now from Lambda Legal is a wonderful marriage resolution that PFLAG 
chapters should sign and get every other organization in the city to sign 
to create a peaceful backlash.
OPEN DOORS: HOW HAVE YOUR OWN PARENTS HANDLED YOUR DECISION TO COME OUT?
Mel White: My parents went to the San Francisco PFLAG convention last 
year. They loved the way they were treated. Every parent should go to a 
PFLAG meeting just to see how positive everybody is. That was the 
beginning, I think, of their own journey. Once they saw that there was 
another world, it opened them up to all kinds of possibilities for change.
     Before the PFLAG convention when we were in Florida and the "60 
Minutes" crew came, my parents jumped in the car and drove around until 
the crew left because they didn't want to be interviewed. But when I was 
in jail and Pat Robertson finally came and said (to me and the New York 
Times and other media), "I'm only here because your mother and father are 
grieving over you lifestyle, and I'm only here because they've requested 
it of me," my mother and father demanded an apology, and said, "We never 
wanted a gay son. But once we've got one we find nothing wrong with him. 
We're grateful for what he is, and you've got to take that back." So Pat 
Robertson apologized for misquoting them. And mom and dad said, "If you 
did care about us, why didn't you let him out when we sent you a fax 23 
days ago? We love our gay son and we don't understand this issue, but we 
love him anyway."
      Most of their friends say, "Oh, we're so sorry about your son...and 
how we mourn the loss of your son." So when they went to the PFLAG 
convention and people were saying to them, "You've got the greatest son 
in the world," it created ambivalence. That ambivalence shakes the walls 
and the prejudices.
OPEN DOORS: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN OUT TO YOUR PARENTS?:
Mel White: Over 10 years. One of the reasons they didn't want to talk to 
"60 Minutes" was because when they were interviewed earlier my mom told 
how she felt when she learned I was gay. She said she wanted t jump into 
the bottom of the pool and never come up. And that was embarrassing to 
them when they saw the interview on TV.
     They're still in the process of finding out where they are on the 
issue, but going to the PFLAG convention was a tremendous positive 
influence. One of the PFLAG couples adopted them, and just harassed them 
until they came to the convention. And that's what I like about PFLAG--a 
little harassment until you say, "Okay, okay, I'll join. Just go away!!" 
I mean, if PFLAG doesn't have the same energy that Amway has, where are 
we?...if you don't have the same desire to recruit as you have to sell soap!