From: Heather Wright Subject: PFLAG News: Support During the Holidays Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 10:45:28 -0500 * * * PFLAG News Release * * * For Immediate Release: November 22, 1999 Contact: Eric Ferrero, 202-638-4200 x212 Giving Thanks for Their Loved Ones' Honesty and Openness, PFLAG Families Gear Up to Provide Support During Holidays For many families, Thanksgiving is a time to gather together and give thanks for the year's blessings. Nowhere is this more poignant than in the hundreds of thousands of households nationwide where families will rejoice for the blessings their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered loved ones have brought into their lives. "Unless you've been through the pain of family secrets and strained relationships, it is impossible to know how thankful we are for our family today," said Marge Candler, who has two gay sons and a lesbian daughter. "I am so grateful that when our family comes together for the holidays, there are no secrets and no resentments - there's just unconditional love and gratitude for complete honesty." Twenty years ago this week - the day after Thanksgiving, 1979 - Marge and Larry Candler learned that their then-15-year-old son was gay. Mrs. Candler had gone shopping on what is traditionally the biggest shopping day of the year. She returned home to hide presents she had bought for her children - only to find a note hidden in the house. "Our son wrote us a note, figuring we wouldn't find it until after he was 18 and out of the house," Mrs. Candler recalls. The Candlers, who live in South Carolina, were devout Southern Baptists. "When we found that note, we didn't know what to do, really. We were devastated." The Candlers tried to change their son's sexual orientation, and eventually he ran away. After they finally found their son, the Candlers began the slow process of educating themselves about sexual orientation. In the ensuing years, their other son and their daughter also came out to them. Today, the Candlers frequently remark that they are "thrice-blessed" by the richness and fullness that their three children have brought into their lives. They are active in PFLAG Greenville, South Carolina. In addition, they serve as PFLAG's South-Atlantic Regional Directors, helping start and nurture PFLAG chapters in North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and Kentucky. Mr. Candler serves on PFLAG's National Board of Directors. "We were once ignorant ourselves, and now we feel obligated to help others find the information and support that helped us come to not just accept - but to fully embrace and celebrate - our children," Mrs. Candler said. "That support is especially important now, around the holidays." Many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (g/l/b/t) people come out to immediate family members or extended family during the holidays, when entire families are often together. Some families find themselves needing support because a g/l/b/t loved one is bringing a partner home for the first time. When a family continues to reject loved ones based on sexual orientation or gender identity, the holidays can be an extremely painful time for all involved. "Whatever the case," Mrs. Candler said, "PFLAG is there to help." People can call 202-638-4200 to find local PFLAG chapters who can listen and offer support in more than 430 communities nationwide. Local chapters are also listed on PFLAG's web site (www.pflag.org), which beginning today, features a special section on the holidays, including tips for g/l/b/t people and their families. # # # Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families & friends through support, education, and advocacy. Serving nearly 77,000 members & supporters, PFLAG affiliates are located in 425+ communities in the U.S. 1101 14th St. NW, Suite 1030, Washington, DC 20005 . phone: 202-638-4200 fax: 202-638-0243 Email info@pflag.org Web http://www.pflag.org ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To unsubscribe from PFLAG's Email Alert, send an email, subject line "unsubscribe" to info@pflag.org ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~