[glstn.coming.out.for.teachers] Provided by: GLSTN 122 West 26th Street, Suite 1100 New York, NY 10001 USA Tel: (212) 727-0135 Email: glstn@glstn.org Web: http://www.glstn.org/freedom/ COMING OUT SUGGESTIONS FOR TEACHERS BY KEVIN JENNINGS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, GLSTN Coming out is one of the most difficult decision-making processes one can ever undergo. To do so in a workplace is doubly so. When that workplace is a school, the complicating factors become infinite. Nevertheless, there are some simple lessons to keep in mind if you are thinking about coming out at school. They include: 1. DON'T LET THE ISSUE GET PERSONALIZED Before coming out, you need to think your motivations through carefully. You need to be clear in your own mind about how your being out will make you more effective as a teacher and how it will better the educational climate for students. You have to make sure that homophobia is the issue under discussion at all times. Others will undoubtedly chastise you for bringing your "personal life" into the work place. You need to be prepared to show how what you are doing is something which heterosexuals do routinely. You need to make it clear that you aren't pushing a "personal agenda" but rather one which will benefit students. You are not the issue here--homophobia is. Don't let them make you into one. 2. USE THE SCHOOL'S RHETORIC IN EXPLAINING YOUR DECISION Every school has a mission statement or common buzzwords it uses to explain its values. You need to review these carefully and understand how your decision to come out relates to them. You must then continually return to these values when explaining your decision. Wrap yourself in their language when explaining your thinking: they cannot attack their own values! Make it clear that your decision is an educational one, and stick to this line of reasoning, no matter what side issues they try to bring up. If you cannot defend what you are doing as educational in nature, then you can't prove it is appropriate in a school setting. 3. BUILD ALLIANCES It is important to have colleagues who understand your reasoning and are prepared to support you if things get tough. The best way to develop allies like this is to involve them early on in your planning and thinking so that they will feel a sense of investment in your decision. Allies can play a vital role in advocating for gay/lesbian issues so that it doesn't become only your issue. Making sure some of your allies are straight is imperative as well for keeping the issue from getting personalized. They also will be invaluable in helping you keep your sanity, in providing "reality checks," and in alleviating isolation. It is helpful to have some allies from outside your school as well. Other gay/lesbian teachers, especially ones who are already out, can be invaluable resources. You need a place to vent, so that you don't do it in the principal's office or the faculty room and thereby undermine yourself. Do it with friends or allies. Colleagues at other schools can provide this outlet. Keep in touch with them regularly. 4. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING Every meeting with an administrator should be documented, in both your personal notes (which should exhaustively review what happened there) and in a confirmatory letter to the administrator thanking him/her for the meeting while recounting what happened there as well as any agreements you have made. This makes sure that communication is clear and that there is a record to go back to later should the ground shift beneath you. If a legal situation arises, it can also be important evidence for you. Most importantly, it helps to keep the institution honest. In conclusion, these steps are simply some ideas to give you some direction. It is important to realize that the vast majority of GLSTN members who have decided to come out have been very happy with the results. It's not guaranteed to be the result for you, but don't let your fears stop you. ***** ***** ***** This document is part of THE GLSTN TOOLBOX, an online resource of practical information and tools, for educators, students, parents and community organizers, to help fight homophobia in K-12 schools. Founded in 1990 as a regional volunteer organization in Boston, The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Teachers Network (GLSTN) today has over 20 chapters around the country and is the largest organization of teachers and community members dedicated to ensuring that all students are valued and respected, regardless of sexual orientation. GLSTN's work includes community organizing, providing programming to schools, and developing materials that teachers can use to raise awareness among their colleagues and students. Membership is open to all who are committed to ending homophobia in schools, regardless of sexual orientation or occupation. The GLSTN TOOLBOX is available from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Teachers Network World Wide Web Site: http://www.glstn.org/freedom/ In the interest of sharing this information with others, you may copy and redistribute this document provided that all notices remain intact. You may not charge or make a profit from the redistribution of this material. If you have writing which you would like to contribute to The GLSTN TOOLBOX, please contact us by phone at (212) 727-0135 or by e-mail at glstn@glstn.org.