Date: Sun, 2 Mar 1997 16:40:48 -0600 (CST) From: Jim Fagelson Subject: Parents' Network 3-2-97 PARENTS' NETWORK March 2, 1997 To SUBSCRIBE, send an e-mail message to glpcinat@ix.netcom.com saying "subscribe Parents' Network", To UNSUBSCRIBE send an e-mail message to glpcinat@ix.netcom.com saying "unsubscribe Parents' Network" and you will be removed from the list. ICELAND BANS ANTI-GAY BIAS - Wockner News Service Six months after becoming the fourth nation to legalize marriage-like gay partnerships, Iceland has banned mistreatment based on sexual orientation. The new law criminalizes any action that humiliates, degrades, slanders or defames an individual or group based on sexual orientation. A second law makes it a crime to deny a service or commercial transaction based on sexual orientation. "Our next priority is a bill regarding a full right for step-parent adoptions [by gay couples] and we hope the Althingi [parliament] will come forward with that bill in the next few months," said Klara Bjartmatz, spokeswoman for Samtoekin 78, the island's gay group. Seventeen couples have married since Iceland's gay-partnership law took effect on June 27 of last year. Partners have all the rights of marriage except access to church weddings, artificial-conception services and adoption. A partner can, however, obtain joint custody of his/her partner's biological children under the current law. THE NETHERLANDS - Wockner News Service Dutch Railways must offer spousal discount fares to the lovers of two unmarried employees, the Utrecht court ruled last month. Any other employees who file similar legal complaints should see the same result, lawyers said. ICELAND'S TAX FORMS OUT-OF-DATE - Wockner News Service Last June, Iceland became the fourth country to allow gays to marry under a registered-partnership law that grants nearly every right of matrimony -- but the nation forgot to update its tax forms. Gay and lesbian couples filing jointly for the first time this year find themselves confronted with fill-in boxes labeled "Male's Name" and "Female's Name." REQUEST FOR MEDIA HELP - Sacramento, CA A Sacramento, California, TV station (Channel 13) is doing a story on lesbian and gay people who have decided to co-parent intentionally with each other. If you are a lesbian who is co-parenting with a gay male, or vice versa, and would like to be interviewed, please contact Lynn Diehl at 1-800-374-8813. Parents who already have children begotten in this manner and are willing to be interviewed in California would be most highly desired. It's a chance to make a difference to others who are trying to do the same thing. "PARENTAL RIGHTS" REJECT IN VIRGINIA - By David Lerman, Daily Press, Newport News, Va. RICHMOND, Va.--Jan. 29--The Virginia Senate rejected a measure that would have given parents a ``fundamental right'' in the constitution to raise and educate their children. Turning aside the pleas of social conservatives, senators voted 21-19 against an amendment that critics said would undermine laws governing the health, safety and welfare of children. The vote, which fell mostly along party lines, capped a highly charged, ideological debate over the proper role of government in the lives of families. For more than 90 minutes, Republicans urged passage of the amendment, saying it would provide a useful safeguard against a government that is growing increasingly intrusive in family matters. But Democrats lined up solidly in opposition. The amendment, they said, could unleash a flood of litigation and force judges to decide whether the state has the right to require children to attend school or receive immunizations, among other things. "It will throw into a tailspin society's reasonable efforts to protect against abuse and neglect,'' said Sen. Gartlan Jr. "We run a serious risk of damaging the health and safety of our children. And that we must not tolerate.'' The push for a so-called parental rights amendment has been sweeping across the country over the last two years, led by the Christian Right and other conservative groups seeking broader rights to challenge state laws affecting children in court. An estimated 28 states have considered the amendment, but none has passed it, according to figures cited by the National Conference of State Legislatures. NEW WEB PAGE FOR EDUVATIONAL RESOURCES Te Queer Educational Resources page has been established. Go to http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/2048/index.htm and follow the Queer Classroom link, either in the features section or at the bottom of the page. Currently fairly basic, containing "Gay and Lesbain Issues in Education" a course at the University of Saskatchewan, some useful Gay and Lesbian Teachers networks, Gay/Straight Alliances, School Board Policies, Youth Suicide Studies, and the like. A form on the page sends feedback to Brian Berezowski, who designed the site. RESOURCE LIST FOR TRANSGENDER PARENTS by Loree Cook-Daniels LOCAL SUPPORT GROUPS Sources: Information on most of the following support groups comes from the Transgender Community Forum on America Online, which in turn uses a list provided by the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) augmented by "member input." We have not independently verified this information and therefore can't vouch for its accuracy. These listings are identified with an (tcf) at the end. Other listings were developed by Loree Cook-Daniels from various contacts and leads and are identified with an (lcd) at the end. Comprehensiveness: In addition, this list is only a start. To make it onto this list, the group had to explicitly welcome partners, significant others, family members, and/or other interested persons of FTMs. If you're looking for a local support group, we suggest you try these first. If none of these is close, check to see if there are any FTM groups near you or check with IFGE (see listing below) or AOL's keyword TCF to find other groups (only North Dakota, South Dakota, and South Carolina lack ANY local support groups for transgendered persons; literally hundreds of them exist). Then call them and ask; they may well serve FTMs and/or family members and/or be able to refer you to someone near you who does. Alaska Alaskan T-People c/o Bobbie Wendy Tucey P.O. Box 670349 Chugiak AK 99567-0349 Strictly social, not political in any way. Social activities for the whole family: fishing parties, outings, whatever. (tcf) Arizona Evolvere Transgender Foundation 1830 E. Broadway #124-269 Tucson, AZ 85719 (520) 884-0541 Provides counselling, gender education, appearance, group support, and grants for SRS. The group is open to CDs, TVs, and TS (both MtF and FtM) and friends thereof. (tcf) California SOFFAs are welcome to attend the FTM International bimonthly "open" meetings in San Francisco. On alternating months, SOFFAs hold a SOFFAs-only meeting at the same time FTM holds an FTM-only meeting. For information on SOFFA meetings, contact: Michiko Bailey, (510) 893-6330 (lcd) Alternative Family Project in San Francisco runs a facilitated support group for transgendered (both FTM and MTF) parents and partners. Time commitment required; sliding fee scale; childcare provided. (415) 566-5683. (lcd) Genderqueer Boyzzz Southern California support/social (and more???) group for people assigned female at birth and raised girl-to-woman who have masculine self-identifications some or all of the time. This is a place where difference is treasured. Meetings are open: Everyone is always welcome. E-Mail: Phone: 213-665-1130 (Jacob Hale) (lcd) Loved Ones Of Transsexuals Monthly support group for family, friends of transsexuals and interested medical professionals facilitated by Jeanee Ebner, a mother of a post-op TS. Meets the second Thursday of each month. (714) 786-6891 (tcf) MCC TS Support Group c/o Metropolitan Community Church South 7th Street San Jose, CA. For TSs (MTF and FTM) and SOs and family members. Meets 6:30 PM third Saturdays (pot luck dinner followed by meeting) at the MCC on South 7th Street between East Santa Clara Street and the San Jose State campus. (tcf/lcd) Minority Aids Project 5149 W. Jefferson Blvd. Los Angeles CA 90016 Discussion and rap groups conducted by the Project's TS/TG program for TG/TS persons and their SOs. HIV/AIDS information, hormone treatment, support groups and more. (213) 936-9338 (tcf) Colorado Teenage Kids Of TS: TAKOTS c/o Laurie Ciccotello 1740 S. Buckley Road #6-178 Aurora CO 80017 Support group for children of T-persons. (tcf) Connecticut ConnecticuTView P.O. Box 2281 Devon, CT 06460 Open social and support group for straight, bi, gay, male or female, CD/TV/TS, their S.O.s, wives, and friends. Everyone is welcome! Yearly dues $16./year. A Renaissance affiliate club. 60 members from CT and surrounding states. 8-10pg newsletter 10x/year and Membership Directory of ads/addresses/ photos. Newsletter publicizes local events and businesses that welcome TVs. Write to the above address or e-mail MASON D@AOL.com; AOL Keyword: Renaissance; World Wide Web: http://www.ren.org (tcf) Delaware See American Boyz under Maryland. D.C. Transgender Educational Association Of Greater Washington (TGEA) PO Box 16036 Arlington VA 22215 (formerly DCEA) For transgendered persons of all sexual preferences and genetic origins, and their significant others. Meetings the first Saturday of month September through June. Affiliated with couples' group and MAGA (TS support). Outreach to professionals and to the larger Gay and Lesbian community. (301) 949-3822 Publishes: The Pinnacle, Bi-monthly (tcf) See also American Boyz under Maryland. Illinois Chicago SOFFA support group. C/o Ellie Altman at . (lcd) Champaign/Urbana SOFFA support group. Meets third Tuesday of every month at 7p.m. Contact Star Straf at (lcd) FORGE: For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression c/o C. Michael Munson P.O. Box 1272 Milwaukee, WI 53201 Aimed at FTM. (Also advertises that SOFFAs are welcome -- lcd) Meets monthly, almost exclusively in Chicago. (414) 278-6031 email: (tcf) Maryland American Boyz, mid-Atlantic region For gender variant people of the f2m continuum, plus all SOFFAs. Has free monthly newsletter, online forum, dinner and social meetings, and sponsors other services. Also makes many articles available for $1 cash or stamps. For information, contact Gary at American Boyz, POB 1118, Elkton, MD, 21922-1118 or . (lcd) Couples' support group/potluck (for couples where one or both are transgendered) meets second Saturday of the month at 3:00 p.m. Contact Gloria or Diane at (301) 791-6012 or (lcd) Massachusetts Enterprise Boston area support group exclusively for Female-to-Male transsexuals and intersexes at any stage of transition. Weekly meetings. Monthly open meetings, usually of a social nature. Friends, lovers, spouses, and family are welcome. (617) 441-5165 (tcf) Boston Boyz Welcomes SOFFAs at their meetings (and sometimes has separate SOFFA meetings). Contact Darius at (lcd) The Tiffany Club of New England P.O. Box 2283 Woburn, MA 01888-0483 (617) 891-9325 Fax: (617) 899-5294 I understand they offer "some degree of SOFFA support" and have "significant" FTM and SO members. (lcd) Michigan Michigan FtM (broad spectrum definition) support group welcomes SOFFAs. Meets alternate Sundays at 1 p.m. in Room 441 of the MSU Student Union. For information, contact Kevin O'Malley at (517) 267-7659, or at (lcd) Transgendered support group at Michigan State University includes SOFFAs and meets alternate Tuesdays and Sundays. Call Lisa Lees at (517) 333-9641, or Kevin O'Malley at (517) 267-7659. Web site: (lcd) Nevada Silver Rose Gender Association open to all CD's, TV's, M-F TS's, F-M TS's, and all associated family and friends. Meets the 2nd Saturday of every month at 2850 Wrondel Way, Reno, Nv. at 8:00 p.m. Contact: Lynda Cheney P.O. Box 1334, Carson City, Nv., 89702 or e-mail address (tcf) Transsexuals Support Group For both F-M and M-F. Meetings the second and fourth Saturdays of the month at the Community Counseling Center, 1120 Almond Tree Lane, Las Vegas, Nevada, at 6:00 pm. Non-threatening environment for spouses, significant others, and family members. For more information page Tammy at (702) 222-7814 (tcf) New Jersey See American Boyz under Maryland. New York A NYC SOFFA group is being started by lourdes d. follins. Contact her at (718) 655-2384, or at (lcd) Ohio Crystal Club (Columbus Area) P.O. Box 287 Reynoldsburg OH 43068-0287 An open support group providing a non-threatening environment for TV, TS, TG, FI, MTF, FTM, spouses and SO's. Meetings the 4th Saturday of each month at 7:00 p.m. Peer support. Publishes: The Crystal Chronicle (614) 231-1368. The phone will be answered by Luann or Carol or a machine and all messages will be returned. E-Mail: (tcf) Cleveland support group for significant others, MTFs and FTMs, family and friends. Meets 1st Thursday of the month for potluck (usually) in members' homes. Call Karen at (216) 382-7373. (lcd) Pennsylvania Philadelphia T*FAM is a support/discussion group for families and friends of T*s. (Also includes some T*s.) Currently meets 3rd Sunday of each month at 2111 Sansom Street. For more information, contact Pat Millikin at or Maggie Heineman at . (lcd) TransFamily is a Western Pennsylvania SOFFA support group. Contact Janet Flecher at or Deni Scott at or call (412) 758-1508. (lcd) Transgender Health Action Coalition addresses a full spectrum of transhealth issues, including a needs assessment survey, networking, care provider contacts and educational programming. High percentage of SOFFA membership. THAC, Washington West Offices, 1201 Locust Street, 3rd Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19107. (215) 545-7295. (lcd) See also American Boyz under Maryland. Texas Significant Other Support (SOS) c/o ReCast P.O. Box 224001 Dallas TX 75222-4001 Support and information for partners, families and friends of Female-to-Male transgendered or transsexual persons. Group works through a quarterly column in several F2M newsletters. Call or write Rebecca at (214) 641-4842 (tcf) Virginia See American Boyz under Maryland. Washington FTM SOFFA support group facilitated by Carol Miranda Patton, wife of an FTM. Meets 4th Tuesday of the month at Ingersoll Gender Center, 1812 East Madison, Seattle, WA Cost is $5.00/session. (lcd) Wisconsin See FORGE under Illinois. E-MAIL SUPPORT GROUPS FTMSOLINK Currently about 50 partners of FTMs -- straight/lesbian/no- labels; parenting and childless; long-term and newly partnered - - participate in this active e-mail list. For information or to sign up, contact Meridith at . tgs-pflag This is a self-described "warm and fuzzy" support group on-line for parents, spouses, family members, and friends of anyone who defines hirself as transgendered. In addition, there are many transgendered (FTM/MTF/CD/"other") persons on the list. For information, write Emily Rizzo c/o Brooklyn PFLAG, 360 Atlantic Avenue #179, Brooklyn, NY 11217, or e-mail her at . Kids of Gays Despite its name, this group, sponsored by COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) explicitly welcomes children of transgendered persons. They have an e-mail list, a Web site, and an office in San Francisco. To reach them by e-mail, write . T*Significant Other The T*Signficant Other Support List is "for wives, husbands, girlfriends & boyfriends (even ex-) of TGs, TVs, CDs and others." Both FTM and MTF SOs subscribe to this list. For more information, contact . American Boyz SOFFA The SOFFA list of American Boyz. Has been somewhat inactive lately. To be added to the list, e-mail your request to . "Genderweb" This is "a mailing list for the support of TSs' SOs (so it is mostly spouse/partners but includes siblings and parents, too)." It is run by an MTF and her fiance (a genetic woman). For more information, contact or . NEWSLETTER At the San Francisco FTM conference, the SOFFAs were so ecstatic at meeting each other that we began a newsletter. About three editions were sent out before its publisher decided to drop out. Negotiations are currently underway with a new publisher. For more information, contact: Juli Rose, 6842 N. Missouri Avenue, Portland, OR 97217. INTERNET/WORLD WIDE WEB RESOURCES PFLAG-talk/tgs-pflag website has many resources for family members and partners of transgendered persons, divided into categories like "support," "education," "advocacy," "PFLAG Acts," etc.. COLAGE is Children of Lesbians and Gay Men Everywhere. Despite their name, all of their materials explicitly invite children of transgendered persons. TransWorld maintains message boards for FTMs, MTFs, significant others, etc. and holds an IRC chat every Sunday night from 9-10p.m. ET and Thursday nights from 10-11p.m. ET. Because I don't understand IRC chats, I'm sending you to one of the organizers, Alena, to get the details! E-mail her at . #Transparents is a Dalnet channel for "parents who are TS or have TS kids." Because I don't understand Dalnet either, I'm sending you to the organizer, Angel, to get the details. E-mail her at . Cath's Corner Cafe may or may not be operating at this time. It's billed as "a chat site for spouses, friends and family of the Transgendered community." Users must pre-register and access is granted within 24 hours. . Shangri-La, a site for transgendered persons, has a "Tavern" for SOs only. Users must pre-register for access by writing . . TG Magazine's site includes resources -- both groups and professionals -- by state. These resources do not specify whether they cater to MTFs and/or FTMs (and FTM International was not listed), but they do specify whether someone caters to "family." Also offers an online chat. . FTM International has a Web site that may be of interest to SOFFAs who are looking for bibliographies or information on hormones, surgery, or medical professionals, or who want to trace FTM links. . GLPCI (Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International) sometimes includes transgendered parents in their literature. They have local chapters, some of which are transgender-friendly. For more information, contact their Web site: AOL has a wonderful resource for its members in the Transgender Community Forums . TCF conducts chats, includes extensive local resources, has many "folders" on various issues, and includes a calendar of upcoming events. Personal web pages sometimes contain items of interest. Here are some I've checked out: o is owned by an FTM. He includes listings of calls for submissions, conferences, and partners' support groups (all listed above), as well as interesting links. o includes dozens of links to national transgender sites as well as local resources around the Pittsburgh area. o is owned by the wife of an MTF. It contains a few essays of interest as well as resource lists and links. o focuses on resources in the Champaign/Urbana area. OTHER RESOURCES American Boyz P.O. Box 1118 Elkton, MD 21922-1118 For gender variant people of the f2m continuum, plus all SOFFAs. Free monthly newsletter, online forums (including one for SOFFAs), dinner and social meetings, other services. Many articles available for $1 cash or stamps. True Spirit Conference sponsor. (lcd) COLAGE Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere 2300 Market Street #165 San Francisco, CA 94114 (415) 861-5437 (voice) (415) 255-8345 (fax) e-mail: Newsletter, annual conference, pen-pal service, and support groups (particularly in the SF Bay Area.) Explicitly welcomes children of transgendered parents. (lcd) Female-To-Male International (FTM) 5337 College Avenue #142 Oakland CA 94618 Monthly support group exclusively for female-to-male crossdressers, TSs, and their significant others. Quarterly FTM newsletter $15.00/yr ($20 Inter.), FTM Resource Guide $5.00. e-mail: FTM International on AOL: Keyword: FTM Intl; Web site: (tcf) GLPCI Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International P.O. Box 50360 Washington, D.C. 20091 e-mail: GLPCI has a newsletter and many affiliated chapters throughout the U.S. and sponsors an annual conference. Sometimes their publications and literature explicitly welcomes transgendered parents. Local chapters' are sometimes supportiveness. Particularly valuable resource if you're parenting in a relationship that looks like it has two parents of the same gender. (lcd) IFGE International Foundation For Gender Education Box 229 Waltham MA 02154-0229 Educational and service organization designed to serve as a communications medium, outreach device, and networking facility for the entire TV/TS Community and those affected by that Community. Publisher of materials relevant to the TV/TS theme. Sponsors annual convention. An international information and referral clearinghouse, speakers' bureau, "drop-in bookstore" for emergency peer counselling and on-going volunteer work. (617) 894-8340, FAX (617) 899-5703 Publishes: Transgender Tapestry magazine E-mail: IFGE Home Page: IFGE on AOL: Keyword: IFGE (tcf) PFLAG Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays 1101 14th Street, N.W., Suite 1030 Washington, D.C. 20005 (202) 638-1101 (phone) (202) 638-0243 (fax) Has more than 450 chapters across the country. Some include family members of transgendered persons or at least would welcome such family members. A few chapters include members of the Transgender Support Special Outreach Network. To contact the Transgender Support Special Outreach Network, contact Emily Rizzo c/o Brooklyn PFLAG, 360 Atlantic Avenue, #179, Brooklyn, NY 11217 (718) 769- 1421 or . END NOTE: This list was compiled and annotated by Loree Cook-Daniels in February 1997. Unfortunately, I was not able to double-check with everyone who is listed here, although many checks were made. If you find an error or have an addition, please e-mail me or write me at 1025 N. Regatta Drive, Vallejo, CA 94591, or fax me at (707) 648-2455.