Date: Mon, 5 Aug 1996 10:27:35 -0700 From: glaad@glaad.org (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against) Subject: GLAADAlert 08.05.96 GLAADALERT August 5, 1996 The GLAADAlert is the weekly activation tool of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation In order to better meet the deadlines of media outlets that rely on GLAADAlert for timely information, GLAAD will begin distributing GLAADAlert on Fridays instead of Mondays. The next GLAADAlert will therefore be released August 9. LOUGAINIS GETS GOLD MEDAL TREATMENT (SORT OF) A "Centennial Olympic Moment" that aired July 29 during prime-time Olympic coverage began, "It has been eight years since Greg Lougainis won 2 gold medals at the Seoul Olympics. Eight years ago, athletes, especially American heroes, didn't talk about being gay [or] testing positive for HIV." Recounting the dramatic story of Lougainis's 1988 dive when he hit his head and chose not to disclose his HIV status to the doctor who stitched him and then went on to win 2 more gold medals, the feature is unequivocally supportive of Lougainis as an Olympic hero and perhaps "the best diver ever." Ironically, in May NBC Sports passed over Lougainis as a commentator for 1996 Olympic diving despite his screen presence, media talents and expertise. At the time, Alan Klein, Communications Director of GLAAD said, "It's a blatent case of NBC pandering to the lowest common denominator. They reacted with fear and bigotry, and are clearly in the wrong." To date, NBC has made no comment. Let NBC Sports know that the "Centennial Olympic Moment" is an excellent short piece, and that inclusion of lesbian, gay and HIV-positive athletes in their programming serves as a springboard to overcome homophobia and AIDS-phobia in sports media. However, ask them why they did not utilize Greg Lougainis in a more active way as Olympic diving commentator, a position so obviously suited to him. Contact: Ed Markey, Vice President of Sports Information, NBC/Sports Press, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, Room 1470 E, New York, New York 10112. GAY GAMES FOUNDER GETS THE LAST WORD The July 30 San Francisco Examiner tells the story of author Dick Schaap's Gay Olympian: The Life and Death of Dr. Tom Waddell and, in the midst of Olympic fever, reminds its readers that the Olympics have had a checkered past when it comes to lesbian and gay recognition. When Dr. Tom Waddell, an Olympic decathelete who competed at the 1968 Games, founded the Gay Games and dubbed them the "Gay Olympics," the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) sued him to prevent the event from using the word "Olympics," even as he was dying from AIDS complications. The USOC demanded $96,000 in attorneys fees and nearly caused Waddell to lose his home. But the Gay Games have flourished in Waddell's spirit, and the new book is a testimony to his efforts. As Examiner staff writer Cynthia Robins notes, "During these Olympic Games, it's tempting to wish that Tom Waddell had lived long enough to see publication of the book which bears his name and his story." Thank the San Francisco Examiner for an appropriate dedication to a man who understood the real meaning of Olympic champion when the USOC would not. Contact: Phil Bronstein, Editor, San Francisco Examiner, 110 5th Street, San Francisco, California 94111, fax: 415.512.1264, e-mail: sfexaminer@examiner.com GUNDERSON IS GOOD PEOPLE On the eve of the Republican National Convention, People magazine has chosen to feature the family life of a prominent Republican -- openly gay Congressman Steve Gunderson from Wisconsin. Recounting Gunderson's relationship with "his longtime love and live-in partner" Rob Morris, the article, "Changing Course," explains the challenges the two have faced from homophobic Representative Robert Dornan (R-CA) "outing" Gunderson on the House floor in 1994 to the more mundane issues of balancing career and family. Additionally, the article acknowledges the struggle Gunderson faces as a gay Republican, with vocal condemnation both from his own party and the gay community; many feel, as Rep. Barney Frank is quoted, that "he's helping people who are very anti-gay appear a little less nasty." But the central message, that Gunderson and Morris are a family, is driven home with the accompanying photo of the couple fishing with two of Gunderson's young nephews. Please write People and tell them you like to see affirming, responsible features of gay people and families in its pages and encourage them to so again. Contact: Norman Pearlstine, Editor-in-Chief, People magazine, Time & Life Building, Rockefeller Center, New York, New York 10020, fax: 212-552-0794, e-mail: 74774.1513@compuserve.com. ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE ARIZONAN CRIES WOLF Arizona Republic columnist Marianna Moody Jennings feels she has been the "victim" of harassment due to a May 26 essay in which she attacked same-sex marriage. In her July 28 column, Jennings, a conservative ethics professor at Arizona State University, complains that the force with which the gay community and heterosexual people who support same-sex marriage have responded has left her making wild claims of fearing personal harm and harm to her family, the potential loss of employment and damage to her property. The first essay, a simplistic anti-gay tract, claims that "natural law" opposes same-sex marriage, and goes on to state that "same-sex marriage cannot further the societal goal of ensuring that there is a next generation [because] that union cannot contribute another human being to carry on its name, its traits or its values." One wonders how the estimated 10 million children with lesbian and gay parents in the United States would feel about her total exclusion of them. Letters in opposition to her small-minded views poured in, some of which demanded ASU fire her, she says in her second essay. She goes so far as to state that she "needs constitutional protections more than" one gay man whose words were particularly critical (her proof is that the man's letter used the word "homophobe"17 times). Though no letter Jennings mentions threatens physical violence of any kind, she seems to verge on paranoia as she claims a world that censors her:"I mourned for a world that once respected others' values....The world has silenced me on the issue of same-sex marriages." Let Ms. Jennings know that there is a difference between having one's rights repressed and having a group of people oppose one's views, including placing pressure on a public university paid for by taxpayers to dismiss a bigoted professor Contact: Pam Johnson, Managing Editor, Arizona Republic, P.O. Box 2244, Phoenix, Arizona 85002, fax: 602.271.8933, e-mail: opinions@aol.com. TWO TALES OF TWO CITIES Both The New York Times and Knight-Ridder news service published excellent articles last week about same-sex couples living their lives: a gay male couple in Honolulu and a lesbian family in Ypsilanti, Michigan. The July 28 Times article, headlined "For Couple who Stirred Issue of Gay Marriage, Surprise Mixes with Dismay," recounts in detail the strange and frustrating journey Joseph Melillo and Patrick Lagon have embarked on since they first walked into government offices to apply for a marriage license in 1990. As Melillo recalls, "We were just two guys in love who wanted to get married." The article chronicles how same-sex marriage became a presidential election year wedge issue, yet remains focused on the couple, who throughout the process are going about their daily lives as partners in love and business. Knight-Ridder newspapers around the country recently treated readers to a story by Susan Ager about Beth Reibel Bashert, Lisa Marshall Bashert, their daughter and pets who have created a married life for themselves, legal or not. The article follows the family through the everyday process of waking up, feeding the cats and dogs, getting their teenage daughter out of bed, planning a monthly budget and paying bills. It tells the story of their courtship, their extended families, and the ceremony where they wedded, taking on the family name of Bashert. Both articles put human faces on a political debate full of homophobic stereotypes, misinformation and anti-gay rhetoric, giving context to the current struggle by reminding readers of the Times and Knight-Ridder papers that lesbian and gay couples and families have existed before and will exist long after this election year is over. Contact: Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., Publisher, The New York Times, 229 W. 43rd Street, New York, New York 10036, fax: 212.556.3622, e-mail: letters@nytimes.com. Jane Scholz, Editor, Knight-Ridder/Tribune Information Services, 790 National Press Building, Washington, D.C. 20045, fax: 202.393.2460. USA TODAY SAYS GAY COUPLES GET SHORT-CHANGED USA Today's July 21 Money section included "Unmarried Couples Face =46inancial Planning Obstacles," an article which details the challenges unmarried couples -- and specifically lesbian and gay couples -- face trying to protect themselves in a legal system that does not recognize them. Without the safeguards of legal marriage, same-sex couples have to go through many additional hoops to preserve the right to inherit one another's property, visit one another in the hospital, make decisions about burial and uphold child custody, among other things. Additionally, many tax breaks and other marriage benefits are simply impossible for same-sex couples to access. At the end of the story are a number of legal and financial resources and strategies for unmarried couples. The article also quotes financial planners from a number of companies, including American Express, discussing the ways in which the business and financial community is way ahead of the government in recognizing same-sex couples and their financial and legal needs. Pointing out that roughly one-in-four families in the U.S. resemble the so-called traditional nuclear family, financial planning companies realized they had to recognize the reality of changing demographics and respond to those needs. As American Express financial planner Sherry Bierman points out, "They're the same products that everyone needs -- life insurance, annuities, mutual funds, savings certificates....It's not a moral issue. It's a practical issue." Please let USA Today know that you appreciate such thoughtful, helpful reportage. Also mention that by recognizing the legal difficulties for lesbian and gay families she highlights the importance serving the real needs of these people instead of just trying to pretend that we do not exist. Contact: USA Today, 1000 Wilson Boulevard, Arlington, Virginia 22229, fax: 703.247.3108, e-mail: editor@usatoday.com. ANN LANDERS FINDS A BEDFELLOW IN OHIO Allying herself with advice columnist Ann Landers, who recently said that while she supports lesbian and gay rights, opposes same-sex marriage as "flying in the face of cultural and traditional family life as we have known it for centuries," Akron Beacon Journal columnist Regina Brett admitted in her July 25 column that she's not ready for gay marriages. She then extrapolates from her own discomfort that the rest of America isn't ready for it, either. She frames her discussion around a letter she received from a lesbian who wants to marry her partner, but cannot legally do so. Brett felt so moved as to call the woman - but not to call her a "lesbian," which Brett says she "never liked. It always seemed derogatory." In the ensuing conversation, Brett found out that while this woman was out to her family, pastor, friends and coworkers, the woman's partner was not out to her parents. From this fact, she then makes an astounding conclusion: "Gay couples like Karen and Beth aren't ready for [same-sex marriage] either. If a couple cannot break the news of their relationship to their parents, how can they expect the rest of the world to understand?" While she has gay best friends, and finds it "sweet to see them hold hands in the dark," Brett says the thought of seeing them "kiss passionately on a street corner" would "jar" her. And despite her support for same-sex marriages "on an intellectual level," she just can't quite muster up her support, and so instead chooses to condemn a lesbian for remaining in the closet. Please let Regina Brett know that it is the society that feels "squeamish" about lesbians, gay men and bisexuals which creates the closet and that if same-sex marriage were legal and harassment on the basis of sexual orientation illegal, perhaps some of the stigma surrounding this couple of "gay women" would be lifted. Finally, remind her that a nasty case of the "icks" should not be the basis for denying a group of people equal access to the benefits of marriage in a democratic society. Contact: Regina Brett, Akron Beacon Journal, 44 E. Exchange Street, Akron, Ohio 44328, fax: 330.996.3520. ANN'S SISTER AND MISS MANNERS GIVE SAGE ADVICE Abigail Van Buren ("Dear Abby") and Judith Martin ("Miss Manners") both gave nods to lesbians and gays this week. In her July 29 column, Abby condemns homophobia and "masculine" vs. "feminine" gender-typing, while on July 28 Miss Manners gave tacit approval to same-sex marriage. Several months ago, a woman wrote into Abby using the name of Michael Deibele, a practical joking male friend who wanted to come out as a devoted baton twirler. Abby's advice at the time had been to ignore the taunts and keep on twirling. Since then, however, Michael (who is straight) has received numerous homophobic crank calls and the attention of the national media for his "hobby," so the woman wrote back to clear up a joke that went awry. Abby's response is articulate and precise: Not all people who engage in activities thought to be cross-gender are lesbian or gay, and she condemns the "outdated public perception that certain activities are 'masculine' or 'feminine.'" She continues by saying "homosexuals are represented in every profession, sport and hobby, whether they choose to disclose it or not." In short, homophobia and gender stereotyping go hand-in-hand, and both not only effect people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered, but also those who society perceives to be. Such bigotry helps no one and hurts many people. In Miss Manners, a gay man complained about the difficulty in finding an appropriate label for the man he "had chosen to spend his life with....'Lover' seems to imply that the basis for our relationship is sex.' 'Friend' doesn't work; we are more than just friends. 'Partner' draws puzzled looks. 'Significant other,' nobody seems to like. 'Domestic partner' sounds like 'roommate,' which we are not." He mentions that when gay marriages are legal, they plan to wed. Miss Manners eloquently replies by acknowledging the traditional stage of the couple's relationship, saying, "Oh, so you're engaged. Whew." She adds that "there is a standard term - 'fianc=E9' -for people who plan to marry, whether or not they eventually succeed." In doing so, Miss Manners politely suggests that same-sex couples should enjoy the same cultural standards that cogendered couples do, including engagement and marriage. Please thank both Abby and Miss Manners for their sage advice. Both provide clarity in a world of advice columns clouded with mixed messages. Contact: Dear Abby, Universal Press Syndicate, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Miss Manners can be reached care of United Features Syndicate, 200 Madison Avenue, 4th Floor, New York, New York 10016. GIANT PITCHER, TINY BRAIN During the third annual "Until There's a Cure" day , an event hosted by the San Francisco Giants to raise money for and increase awareness of the fight against AIDS, Giants pitcher Mark Dewey disappointed and enraged many fans and viewers with a series of antics. Dewey, a fundamentalist Christian who strongly believes that homosexuality and safe sex "fly directly in the face of Scripture," refused to walk on the field with his teammates to show solidarity with the fight against AIDS and during the game wore his red AIDS awareness ribbon sideways, which made the looped ribbon resemble the Christian fish symbol. Additionally, on souvenir pennants players were signing for the San Francisco Food Bank, Dewey included a biblical verse next to his name. While Dewey is entitled to his beliefs, he chose an entirely inappropriate forum in which to express them. In making a spectacle of his own beliefs about homosexuality, he detracted from the overall message of the event - that AIDS is an epidemic that touches all communities, regardless of sexual orientation. A day of education and awareness in the face of a devastating disease became a personal soapbox for his own anti-gay views, and in doing so, cast a pallor over the day. The Giants organization did nothing to stop him and has remained silent in the ensuing controversy. Let the Giants organization know that even though Dewey is free to believe whatever he wants, he should be publicly reprimanded for wholly inappropriate behavior on this special day. And let the Giants know that while Until There's a Cure day should serve as a model for sports organizations around the country, their unwillingness to now formally apologize and take a stand against Dewey's intolerance is nothing short of cowardice. Contact: Peter Magowan, General Manager, San Francisco Giants, 3 Com Park at Candlestick Point, San Francisco, California 94124, phone: 415.468.3700. The GLAADAlert is the weekly activation tool of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. GLAAD is the lesbian and gay news bureau and the only national lesbian and gay multimedia watchdog organization. GLAAD promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging all forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. Copies of articles referred to in the GLAADAlert are available to our members by contacting GLAAD. Contact GLAAD by e-mail at glaad@glaad.org or by phone at 213.658.6775 (Los Angeles), 212.807.1700 (New York), 413.586.8928 (Northampton), 503.224.5285 (Portland, Oregon), 202.986.1360 (Washington, DC) or 415.861.2244(San =46rancisco). Visit GLAAD's Web Site at http://www.glaad.org "GLAADAlert," "GLAAD" and "Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation" are trademarks of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Inc. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~ Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) glaad@glaad.org VISIT THE GLAAD WEB SITE AT http://www.glaad.org! GLAAD promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~ "GLAAD" and "Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation" are trademarks of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Inc.