Date: Thu, 16 May 1996 16:45:36 -0700 From: glaad@glaad.org (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Subject: Special: The Press For Tolerance of Gay Clergy The following is a feature story in the May/June issue of Images, the GLAAD Newsletter of Images and Representations in the Media. We invite you to read the entire issue of Images at the GLAAD Web Site at http://www.glaad.org. The May/June issue is at http://www.glaad.org/glaad/news/9606/index.html. THE PRESS FOR TOLERANCE OF GAY CLERGY By Reverend Barry L. Stopfel Being exhibit A in a heresy trial of an Episcopal Bishop or, as some detractors have observed, exhibit A in the moral decline of the church, my spouse, Will Leckie, and I had become accustomed to living in a fishbowl. An out gay priest and his spouse who were willing to offer a glimpse into their lives was an irresistible temptation for journalists and television newscasters. Upon arriving in Wilmington, Delaware, the night before the pre-trial hearings to determine whether or not Bishop Walter Righter would be tried for heresy for ordaining me, we were greeted with a banner headline in the city's major daily newspaper - "When Love is Viewed as Heresy." Though the heresy charge was about my sexual intimacy with Will, the journalist wanted to portray the breadth of our relationship. The author was interested in a portrait of love and intimacy, and of the dignity of everyday life of two gay men in a relationship. She did not, as is so often the case with some journalists, turn the whole meaning of our gay lives into an act of sexual intimacy. This was one among many discoveries that suggest that we are making some progress in the balance and quality of reporting on lesbian and gay lives. We discovered that many newspaper and television journalists are starved for opportunities to portray a picture of the lives of two gay men in the church where there is no fear of being out. For too long the Church's homophobia, which encourages and maintains deeply closeted priests along with its institutionalized fear of the erotic, keeps many of the lies about our lives in place and prevents many mainstream Americans from witnessing the healthy lives of gay and lesbian clergy. Both Will and I believed that if we made a deliberate decision to be hospitable to those who wanted to report about us it would shift the media impression from an abstract debate about a "practicing homosexual" to a representation of human beings with hearts and blood and flesh and whose hearts are often broken, and whose lives are often ruined by homophobia. When we could, we insisted on photos which included both of us - touching in some simple way. We wanted to present an embodied image which reminded others that we too had a right to simple acts of affection which are business as usual for straight folks. We were encouraged by a February interview in the New York Times Magazine with Congressman Barney Frank, D-Mass. Frank, who is openly-gay, insisted that a photo of he and his partner Herb Moses illustrate the interview. When asked why, he replied, "because I think the fact of gay couples is important. There are so few stories in print of gay people that aren't tragedies, scandals, or disasters." Will and I believed that a picture of the simple quality of our lives would further expose those who brought the charges against Bishop Righter as ecclesiastical gay bashers. By- and-large, the strategy succeeded. In every major city from New York, to London, to Sydney, Dallas, and Houston reporting was balanced and generally without stereotyping. It seemed to be the case even in small cities and towns. On the whole, the contrasting media images of the scapegoating bullies, with the honest, compassionate grandfatherly Bishop and with two gay men whose lives exhibited dignity and grace under fire, brought into clear relief the truly hateful nature of the religious right's jihad against the dignity of lesbian and gay lives. Our experience was that newspaper and television media helped all of us make some inroads in the cultural war that GLAAD's Donna Red Wing has so often spoken of. We have replaced some lies, some stereotypes, and misinformation about the reality of our extraordinary lives. We've won some hearts and minds by telling the truth about who we are. Many of us, gay and straight, will be richer for it and those who continue to traffic in hate stand publicly condemned. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) glaad@glaad.org VISIT THE GLAAD WEB SITE AT http://www.glaad.org! GLAAD promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "GLAAD" and "Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation" are trademarks of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Inc.