From: ATHONK@delphi.com Date: Fri, 13 Oct 1995 19:24:07 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Essay available for reprint ESSAY/COLUMN FOLLOWS. For reprint rights, contact the free-lance writer, Kenneth Athon, P O Box 60716, Nashville, TN 37206, ph. 615/228-6923 (after Nov. 1: 294 N. Washburn Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55405; 612/381-0169), email: ATHONK@delphi.com No apology for National Coming Out Day by Kenneth Athon Many callers to talk radio shows on National Coming Out Day insisted that sexual orientation is a personal thing that should not be discussed. This leads to a very logical conclusion: these people should all support decriminalization of consensual, same- sex acts between adults. Yes, sexual activities between adults should be a private matter, except for the fact that state and society have made it a condition upon which persons can be legally imprisoned, and denied employment and housing. National Coming Out Day is a reminder to both gays and to the public--which seems often to forget--that freedom, equal job opportunity and housing are three most basic needs which can be legally denied to homosexuals. If this was not the situation then, yes, discussion of sexual orientation would be moot. Until then, the discussion is not prurient, but prudent and necessary. "If gays would just keep quiet, things would be all right," seems to be a prevailing attitude. That sentiment is very similar to "Our Negroes are satisfied," espoused during the 1950s-60s; the often-unspoken attitude was actually "Our Negroes know their place." Today, some suggest that gays just need to go on and quit trying to improve their situation. Translation: "Gays need to know their place." National Coming Out Day gives gays and lesbians_who are no longer satisfied with their place as second-clas s citizens subject to legalized discrimination_a support system to acknowledge their sexual orientation to family and friends. Yes, homosexuals can hide. They can pretend that they are straight, while African-Americans cannot deny their skin color. The very fact that homosexuals can be invisible is part of the problem. If people knew they were enacting laws or engaging in person al behavior that hurt 1 in 10 (or even 1 in 20) of their family members and acquaintances, they might quickly end both the stigma and the discrimination. It is easy to even unintentionally disparage African-Americans, Jews, Catholics or any other minori ty when you've never known any. Unfortunately, many people don't realize how many gay and lesbian persons are in our midst. To me, as a gay male, it appears that people who simply don't want to discuss sexual orientation are satisfied with the status quo. And, many people who don't want to discuss it are generally persons who_on many other issues of personal freedom and civi l rights today_are "moderate." The moderates are desperately needed to balance the phobia that radical right-wingers have about societal acceptance of gays and lesbians. National Coming Out Day is not only for metropolitan cities, but also for towns like Jamestown, Tennessee (population 2,400). Former Tennessee state legislator and now talk show panelist Tommy Burnett said his hometown wasn't even aware it was Wednesday, much less Coming Out Day. The realities are that there are gays in Jamestown, whether most residents know it or admit it, and that the effects of discrimination in a small town are disproportionately greater than in a large city; there are fewer job ope nings, fewer housing opportunities, fewer potential friends if a gay person loses his/her current job, his/her present apartment and friends. It's sad that so many people are uncomfortable discussing sexual orientation. But hundreds of thousands gays and lesbians remain more than uncomfortable as these issues are swept under the rug. Kenneth Athon is founder of XENOGENY, a les-bi-gay weekly newspaper in Nashville, Tennessee.