This is the queer fortunes file from YAK.MACC.WISC.EDU converted to ASCII as I
said I would do.  I attempted to re-format it better for 80-columns but could
not because each quote would have to be handled manually.  I have been unable
to secure permission for posting to QRD but the file was offered on GayNet for
general redistribution (the owner never replyed to request).  The source
FORTUNE files were retreived from the following:

/pub/fortune/fortunes.tar.Z
/pub/fortune/fortunes.README

-------
Budget:  A mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.
-- A.A. Latimer

The house of delusions is cheap to build, but drafty to live
in.
-- A.E. Housman

There is no law that vulgarity and literary excellence
cannot coexist. 
-- A. Trevor Hodge

Statistics are like a bikini.  What they reveal is
suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once
they have exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-- Abbie Hoffman

Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real
thoughts. 
-- Abel Stevens

Q: Dear Abby: A pair of gay men is moving in across the street.
   What can we do to improve the neighborhood?
A: You could move.
-- Abigail Van Buren

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog or cat are
not the better for it.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see
themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong
impulse to see it tried on him personally.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Do not be deceived.  Revolutions do not run backwards.
-- Abraham Lincoln

The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my
religion.  I could never give assent to the long, complicated
statements of Christian dogma.
-- Abraham Lincoln

It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak
and remove all doubt. 
-- Abraham Lincoln

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as
a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow

Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses
are not subject to the regulation of conscience.
-- Adam Smith

The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought
to be.  The natural disposition is always to believe.  It is
acquired wisdom and experience only that teach incredulity,
and they very seldom teach it enough.
-- Adam Smith

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that
sometimes he has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson

In America, any boy may become president and I suppose
that's just one of the risks he takes.
-- Adlai Stevenson

What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is,
for the most part, incommunicable.
-- Adlai Stevenson

Making peace is harder than making war.
-- Adlai Stevenson

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson

The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of
struggle must not be just fine words for patriotic holidays,
words we subvert on weekdays, but living, honored rules of
conduct amongst us...I'm glad the American Civil Liberties
Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.
-- Adlai Stevenson

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler

Racism is a universally understood term referring to the
degradation and lack of civil rights of a group of people
from the same cultural background.  Take for example a 5th
generation Jewish person from California and a Jewish person
from Jerusalem.  Both are Jewish but they may have *very*
different upbringings and life experiences that would in any
way distinguish themselves from their common culture.  Any
group of people sharing a commonality can be considered a
race.  I mean, the KKK think of themselves as a race and they
don't include all whites (I am not sure about that one,
could you look it up in your handbook?).
-- Adryenn Ashley

Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they
do large misfortunes.
-- Aesop

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in
anxiety.
-- Aesop

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop

Any excuse will serve a tyrant. 
-- Aesop

They say that one must cast unspeakable things
Into the pit of forgetfulness, into sealed tombs,
That by the written word, evil, raised up again,
Will infect the customs of later generations;
But knowledge is not the mother of evil,
And virtue is not the daughter of ignorance.
-- Agrippa d'Aubigne
   "Tragiques"

I rather like not wanting to refer to "doctors" and "*women*
doctors".  I try to avoid allowing any variable to pretend it
is the ground of being.
-- Ailsa Murphy

From the happy typo collection: Why are you ruinning away
from an argument?
-- Ailsa Murphy

Dad taught me everything I know, but he didn't teach me
everything *he* knows.
-- Al Unser, Jr.

In a recent lecture on dairy physics: "We have on the left a
spherical cow of uniform density, on the right is a
spherical hay stack of uniform density.  The two are
separated by an infinite fence of infinitesimal thickness
delta.  Now, before looking at the governing
relationships...let's make some assumptions."
-- Alain Bouchard

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further
than the crowd.  The man who walks alone is likely to find
himself in places no one has ever been.
-- Alan Ashley-Pitt

[We must] seize control over our own destiny in order to
assure that the changes we experience in the future do not
mirror our past.
-- Alan Dershowitz

The person discriminated against -- whether black or white --
is undoubtedly hurt, but there is a real difference
between the institutional impact and intensity of the hurt
suffered as part of an invidious pattern or racial
*subordination* and as part of a benevolent pattern of
racial *equalization*.  As Oliver Wendell Homes once put it:
"Even a dog understands the difference between being
stumbled over and being kicked."
-- Alan Dershowitz

*Jews* are not to blame for anti-Semitism.  Anti-Semitism is
the problem of the bigots who feel, express, and practice
it.  Nothing *we* do can profoundly affect the twisted mind
of the anti-Semite.  We should never take -- nor refrain
from taking -- any action just because of its anticipated
impact on anti-Semites.
-- Alan Dershowitz

Spare us, please, from the charge that we insist on "special
indulgence." Understand, please, why we do not place our
full trust in the kindness of strangers.  And stop -- in the
name of basic decency and simple equality -- demanding of us
what no one demands of others.
-- Alan Dershowitz

Not all the intended victims were Jews.  But all the Jews
were intended victims.  That reality, made so eloquently by
Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel, is lost on the typical visitor
to Auschwitz.
-- Alan Dershowitz

The great diversity of our nation's population demands that
all students be exposed to the experiences of our varied
population.  White Christian children should learn about the
experiences of Jewish children during the Holocaust, of
black children under slavery, of Japanese-American children
during the World War II detention, of Native American
children during the period when we decimated them, and of
other groups during times of crisis.  Such learning should
take place not in the name of "equal time" for all
religions, but rather in the name of good education.
-- Alan Dershowitz

No group of parents should have the right either to prevent
other people's children from being educated or to require --
as a quid pro quo -- that they be equally exposed to the
religious doctrines of Christian fundamentalism.  It's bad
enough that these parents may be denying their own children
the educational tools necessary to cope with the diverse
society into which they will be graduating.  It is too much
to give them a veto over the education of the rest of our
children.
-- Alan Dershowitz

Anyway, the data clearly refutes those who claim
homosexuality is "not natural" in some sense.  At worst,
they could claim that it is maladaptive, but most human
behavior short of being a dedicated breeding machine is
maladaptive to some degree.
-- Alan Filipski

Happiness can depend on the glance of a stranger, caught and
returned.
-- Alan Hollinghurst

Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of
computing deep enough to make the computational equivalent
of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable.  As in all the
arts, a romance with the material must be well under way.
If we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a
springboard for personal and societal growth, should any
less effort be spent to make computing a part of our lives?
-- Alan Kay
   "Computer Software," Scientific American,

Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have
to experience the world in the way they have been told to.
-- Alan Keightley

To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's
responsibility as a free man.
-- Alan Paton

And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the
words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords.
-- Alan Watts

No one imagines that symphony is supposed to improve as it
goes along, or that the whole object of playing is to reach
the finale.  The point of music is discovered in every
moment of playing and listening to it.  It is the same, I
feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are
unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether
to live them.
-- Alan Watts
   "This Is It"

There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.
-- Albert Camus

You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes
without having asked any clear question.
-- Albert Camus

You cannot create experience.  You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus

Liberty is the right not to lie. 
-- Albert Camus

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the
present.
-- Albert Camus

A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover,
through the detours of art, those two or three great and
simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.
-- Albert Camus

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
-- Albert Camus

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become
what I will be.
-- Albert Einstein

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on
sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is
necessary.  Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be
restrained by fear and punishment and hope of reward after
death.
-- Albert Einstein

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem.
It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an
existing one.
-- Albert Einstein

Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government
and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be
enforced.
-- Albert Einstein
   "Ideas and Opinions," 1954

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not
simpler.
-- Albert Einstein

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are
not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not
refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein

I never think of the future.  It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein

It would seem that men always need some idiotic fiction in
the name of which they can hate one another.  Once it was
religion.  Now it is the State.
-- Albert Einstein

I play with images.
-- Albert Einstein
   when asked where his ideas came from

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to
the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me
than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.
-- Albert Einstein

Only a monomaniac gets what we commonly refer to as results.
-- Albert Einstein

Politics is for the moment.  An equation is for eternity.
-- Albert Einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the
mysterious. 
-- Albert Einstein

The important thing is never to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
from mediocre minds.
-- Albert Einstein

What is inconceivable about the universe is that it is at
all conceivable.
-- Albert Einstein

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it
has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
-- Albert Einstein

The right to search for the truth implies also a duty; one
must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be
the truth.
-- Albert Einstein

Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by
age 18. 
-- Albert Einstein

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but
delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein

We scientists, whose tragic destiny it has been to make the
methods of annihilation ever more gruesome and more
effective, must consider it our solemn and transcendent duty
to do all in our power in preventing these weapons from
being used for the brutal purpose for which they were
invented.
-- Albert Einstein
   September 1948

There is no clear dividing line in sexual behavior between
gay men or lesbians and bisexuals.  People with similar
sexual histories identify differently.  It is important for
us all to recognize this and respect each others choices,
not to project our world-view on someone else.
-- Albert Lunde

Pride is a vice for those who have too much and a virtue
for those who don't have enough.
-- Albert Lunde

When I received the Nobel Prize, the only big lump sum of
money I have ever seen, I had to do something with it.  The
easiest way to drop this hot potato was to invest it, to buy
shares.  I knew that World War II was coming and I was afraid
that if I had shares which rise in case of war, I would wish
for war.  So I asked my agent to buy shares which go down in
the event of war.  This he did.  I lost my money and saved
my soul.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Discovery consists of seeing what everyone else has seen
and thinking what no one else has thought.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Space is an illusion created by objects in juxtaposition.
Ornament is what we put on the objects to make the space
more interesting.
-- Alberto Ricart

We abuse land because we see it as a commodity belonging to
us.
-- Aldo Leopold

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
-- Aldous Huxley

Technological progress has merely provided us with more
efficient means for going backwards.
-- Aldous Huxley
   "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow," 1956

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what he does
with what happens to him.
-- Aldous Huxley

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant
popularity of dogs.
-- Aldous Huxley

Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life.  The
only completely consistent people are the dead.
-- Aldous Huxley

Chastity:  The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
-- Aldous Huxley

The Tao: the result of subtracting the universe from itself.
-- Aleister Crowley

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be
disappointed.
-- Alexander Pope

"Number Seven" opened last night.  It was misnamed by five.
-- Alexander Woollcott

The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in
front of it.
-- Alexander Woollcott

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry
it, sometimes three.
-- Alexandre Dumas

Had I been present at the Creation, I would have given some
useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
-- Alfonso el Sabio
   1221-1284

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up
to them.
-- Alfred Adler

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many
precautions.
-- Alfred Adler

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat.  Cut it.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot
perform.
-- Alfred Kinsey

There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe
everything or to doubt everything.  Both ways save us from
thinking.
-- Alfred Korzybski

Nature gets credit which should in truth be reserved for
ourselves: the rose for its scent, the nightingale for its
song, and the sun for its radiance.  The poets are entirely
mistaken.  They should address their lyrics to themselves and
should turn them into odes of self-congratulation on the
excellence of the human mind.
-- Alfred North Whitehead

The human body is an instrument for the production of art in
the life of the human soul.
-- Alfred North Whitehead

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here
by me.
-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Send us to battle, send us to the front lines/ Point us at
the enemy, lest we forget:/ It's for our protection that we
lay here slaughtered,/ It's for our survival we bury our
dead.
-- Alison Moyet
   "Money Mile"

We do not deceive ourselves that we are engaged in an
activity that is anything but debilitating, dangerous,
euphoric, kinesthetic, expensive, frivolously essential,
economically useless and totally without redeeming social
significance.  One should not probe for deeper meanings.
-- Allen Steck

Mornings are for sleeping during.
-- Amanda Walker

Having to make $100K to afford a nice place to live (without
commuting for an hour or so each way) is obscene.
-- Amanda Walker

We are not *just* baboons.  There is a quality which in
humans takes the gamut of primate behavior and expands it
almost beyond recognition.  That quality is consciousness.
Whether you think of it as an epiphenomenon of the neocortex
and the reticular activation system, a spark of divine fire,
or even both simultaneously :), the fact remains that genus
homo represents a radical departure from the other primates
and the rest of the animal kingdom.

That quality of consciousness allows, and even encourages,
us to do things which no other creature on Earth can do.  It
allows us to plan; to consciously develop specific skills;
to override "instinctual" reactions and reflexes, and
reprogram our behavior patterns.  It allows us to act even
though it hurts, or frightens us, or makes us angry.  It
allows us to go beyond the immediately apparent results of
our actions, and to do things which require being able to
model ourselves and the world around us.  It allows us to
coordinate our efforts on a vast scale.

It is this very effectiveness of action and scale of purpose
that demarcates humans from the the rest of the animals on
this planet.  There can be no baboon Hitler.  There can be
no baboon Christ, or Buddha.  There is no chimpanzee
Aleister Crowley.  The whales do not gather together to
revive barren seascapes.

We are not separate from the world around us, but we have a
unique place in it, just as everything else does.  The
baboons, gorillas, and chimpanzees are our cousins, and the
rest of creation is our family, but we are not anonymous
among them.  We have the capacity to act (both effectively
and disastrously) on scales and timeframes that no other
creatures can even approach.  To them, we have as much in
common with the forces of nature itself (such as the
weather, forest fires, etc.) as we do with them.
-- Amanda Walker

It's much easier to see barriers than the absence of them.
You don't notice things that aren't there, such as:
. not being felt up during a professional conversation
. not getting wolf whistles when you walk past a construction
  site.
. not being asked why you're looking at the expensive technical
  equipment instead of the "easy to use" stuff.
. not being told "you really wouldn't be interested in math."
. not hearing remarks about "stupid women drivers" when you
  take your car into a body shop.
. not being afraid of getting beaten into a pulp as you walk
  from a gay bar to your car.
. not having your car vandalised because of the rainbow flag
  on your bumper.
. not being offered a job because a manager is too freaked by
  his own misconceptions to be able to even consider working
  with you.
. not being told "nothing personal, but you're making other
  people uncomfortable."
. not being offered a lower salary because "you don't need
  as much."
And so on.  It's hard to see absence of something as an
advantage until you have to deal with its presence.
-- Amanda Walker

The commercial availability of software to check spelling,
grammar, and style does serve quite well as a form of
stupidity tax.
-- Amanda Walker

Each bigotry has its own "feel," but they all boil down to
fear, and anger at being afraid.
-- Amanda Walker

I think of xenophobia as a *symptom* of the root of all
evil, which I think is ignorance.  Willful ignorance is
stupidity, and coercive ignorance is evil.
-- Amanda Walker

Wearing boiled leather, chainmail or plate armor, a helm,
and a broadsword does bring new meaning to the term "butch."
-- Amanda Walker

Politics: strife of interests masquerading as a contest of
principles.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling
you with talk of their own personal affairs, and the good
listen with attention while you expound your own.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Accuracy: The vice of being right.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Conservative: a statesman who is enamored of existing evils,
as distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace them
with others.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they
are, not as they ought to be.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Learning: the kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Optimism: The doctrine or belief that everything is
beautiful, including what is ugly. 
-- Ambrose Bierce

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who
speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be
betrayed.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper,
our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and
good fortune to others.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Duty: That which sternly impels us in the direction of
profit, along the line of desire.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent
with one's own opinion
-- Ambrose Bierce

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already
decided on.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance
to ourselves.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Alliance:  In international politics, the union of two
thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each
other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a
third. 
-- Ambrose Bierce

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a
divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual
need of his neighbor.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Impartial: Unable to perceive any promise of personal
advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine
which side it is buttered on.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse
for failure.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself
than me. 
-- Ambrose Bierce

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is
worth while.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Pig: An animal (Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the
human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite,
which, however, is inferior in scope, for it balks at pig.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Politician: An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the
superstructure of organized society is reared.  When he
wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the
trembling of the edifice.  As compared with the statesman,
he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Saint:  A dead sinner revised and edited.
-- Ambrose Bierce

There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of
old things we don't know yet.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but
absence of body is better.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Breakfast is the most important meal of the afternoon.
-- Amelia T. Smith

The acceptable response to homosexuality is not "It's OK,
it's not your choice," or, even, "It's OK, it *is* your
choice," but rather, "So?"
-- Amy Gorin

A Homosexual Couple.  An openly professed homosexual couple
should be considered a social entity and be invited to
social functions on one invitation.  Their names would be
listed alphabetically on separate lines.
-- Amy Vanderbilt

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
-- Anais Nin

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
-- Anais Nin

The business of the mind is first and foremost the pure joy
of knowing and comprehending, the pure joy of consciousness.
-- Anais Nin

This book is dedicated to sensitive Americans.  May they
create a sensitive America.
-- Anais Nin
   dedication to "The Novel of the Future"

Let us pay each other the compliment of not lying to each
other.
-- Anais Nin

To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on
conjecture.
-- Anatole France

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
-- Anatole France

It is his reasonable conversation which mostly frightens us
in a madman.
-- Anatole France

The good critic is he who narrates the adventures of his
soul among masterpieces.
-- Anatole France

The average man, who does not know what to do with his
life, wants another one which will last forever.
-- Anatole France

The law, in its majestic impartiality, forbids the rich as
well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the
streets, and to steal bread.
-- Anatole France

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who
find it.
-- Andre Gide

It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what
one is not.
-- Andre Gide

I intend to bring you strength, joy, courage, perspicacity,
defiance.
-- Andre Gide

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose
sight of the shore for a very long time.
-- Andre Gide

Without feeling there's no reason to live.
-- Andre Kertesz
   1894-1985

Men love death.  In everything they make, they hollow out a
central place for death, let its rancid smell contaminate
every dimension of whatever still survives.  Men especially
love murder.  In art they celebrate it and in life they
commit it.
-- Andrea Dworkin

When it comes to exploring the sea of love, I prefer buoys.
-- Andrew G. Dehel

The modern concept of "homosexuality," as a general sexual
(and affectional) preference for one's own gender, was
invented last century.  It has been a remarkably successful
invention and has revolutionized the way we consider the
sexual side of our lives.
-- Andrew Gollan

People won't let you live the way you want to, but if you're
strong enough or quick enough, at least you don't have to
live the way they want you to.
-- Andrew H. Vachss
   Burke, from "Flood" 

Is life an illusion?  Or does it just seem that way?
-- Andrew Lawson

Don't ask "why," unless you're not disappointed with answers
like "I don't know."
-- Andrew Walenstein

God was able to create the world in only seven days because
he had no installed base to consider.
-- Andy Finkel
   Commodore-Amiga Inc.

[Of four students at VU Amsterdam who won 2nd Place in the
1991 ACM Programming Contest:] Three cheers for them all:
001, 010, 011!
-- Andy Tanenbaum

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of
them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

The UNIX system has a command, 'nice', which allows a user
to voluntarily reduce the priority of his process, in order
to be nice to other users.  Nobody ever uses it.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the
road.  They get run over. 
-- Aneurin Bevan

If they come for me in the morning, they will come for you
in the night.
-- Angela Davis

Space is (a) something containing nothing;
(b) nothing containing everything.
-- Angelo de Haberdasheri

I have a difficult time dealing with your anger, my friend,
when I have done something to hurt you.  I am afraid to
trust that when your anger is gone you will still love me.
But when I know what I have done I can modify my behavior,
or apologize, or explain.  And, then I hope that we can be
reconciled.  But I am terrified when I am included in your
anger but I cannot pinpoint the cause within myself.  I am
afraid that this anger will be between us forever, and I
feel helpless and vulnerable because I can find nothing to
do about it.
-- Ann Carlson

Family values mean a lot to me, good things, and I don't
like to see the term slandered.
-- Ann Carlson

If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it?
-- Ann Edwards-Duff

The best way to find something you've lost is to buy a
replacement.
-- Ann Landers

We want to create puppets that pull their own strings.
-- Ann Marion

Some say that US military actions under Reagan to protect
the flow of cheaper-than-Texan Mid-East oil don't constitute
an overseas "subsidy."  Well you can put lipstick on a hog,
and call it "Monique," but it's still a pig.
-- Ann Richards
   Governor of Texas

Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of
bad training.
-- Anna Freud

I still believe that people are really good at heart.  I
simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of
confusion, misery and death.
-- Anne Frank

Television: the bland leading the bland. 
-- (Anonymous)

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
-- (Anonymous)

If you see someone standing on top of a mountain, it isn't
because they fell up there.
-- (Anonymous)

There are no ordinary moments.
-- (Anonymous)

To change, I must understand that giving up is not giving
in, nor is it failing.  It is no longer needing to be right.
-- (Anonymous)

Most children grow up to be adults in spite of their
parents, not because of them.
-- (Anonymous)

The biggest mistake you can make is to believe that you are
working for someone else.
-- (Anonymous)

Blood is thicker than water and much tastier.
-- (Anonymous)

The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the
stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.
-- (Anonymous)

Doctors bury their mistakes.  Lawyers hang them.
Journalists put theirs on the front page.
-- (Anonymous)

The mission of a modern newspaper is to comfort the
afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
-- (Anonymous)

Every time history repeats itself, the price goes up.
-- (Anonymous)

When you don't have an education, you've got to use your
brains.
-- (Anonymous)

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
-- (Anonymous)

Things could be worse.  Suppose your errors were counted
and published every day, like those of a baseball player.
-- (Anonymous)

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to
the stupidity of your action.
-- (Anonymous)

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
-- (Anonymous)

A lecture is where the notes of the professor become the
notes of the student without passing through the mind of
either one.
-- (Anonymous)

Aging is bad, but consider the alternative. 
-- (Anonymous)

Inferiority complex: a conviction by a jury of your fears. 
-- (Anonymous)

Neurotic: Self-taut person. 
-- (Anonymous)

Rage is a wind that blows out the candle of reason.
-- (Anonymous)

BASIC silently prevents you from tying your shoelaces
together.  Pascal says, "You can't tie your shoelaces
together." C says, "Hmm, this person wants to tie his
shoelaces together.  Okay."
-- (Anonymous)

Virtue is its own punishment.
-- (Anonymous)

If you wouldn't do it with an HIV+ person, consider not
doing it at all!
-- Anthony Berno

Quite frankly, the reason that I would never release source
code is that it is just too embarrassing!  Letting someone
see source is sort of like letting someone see your
underwear.  No matter how clean it is, it's always going to
seem a bit dirty to the owner.
-- Anthony Berno

A fag is... a big ugly hairy woman with a penis.
-- (unknown nitwit)
Egad!  Call Artimus Page!  I'm heterosexual after all!  I
never wanted men, all I wanted was a big hairy woman with a
penis!!!!  Now that I have shed this terrible homosex
disease, I can live a happy, fulfilling, AIDS-free life with
my hairy penised woman.  We will have sex only in the
missionary position, and go to church every Sunday.  We will
eat Wonder bread and twinkies.  Oh, life is fine indeed when
one is normal.  Perhaps, though, she should change her name.
"John" just isn't a womanly appellation.
-- Anthony Berno

Being oppressed does not make one any more virtuous than one
would be otherwise.  Even knowing the taste of oppression
oneself does not prevent the mechanisms whereby "enemies"
are dehumanized so that the concept of oppression seems to
no longer apply to them.  (To what degree such accusations
of oppression by the oppressed are themselves engineered by
the oppressors is another question, a very complicated one
at that.)
-- Anthony Berno

The formerly and currently oppressed are by far the greatest
driving force behind ending oppression for everyone.  While
racism and sexism are rampant among the gay community, gays
and lesbians are also leaders in the battle against these
same forces.  This is by no means a contradiction, of course;
we all know that the gay community is far from homogeneous,
and we should not expect any group to consist entirely of
saints or villains.
-- Anthony Berno

Might I go so far as to argue that being oppressed often
*leads* to bigotry?  If someone is raised in an environment
of blatant oppression, where there is always a clearly
defined "us" and "them", it becomes very difficult to learn
to be tolerant.  If oppression is all one knows, it can
become the only thing one knows how to do oneself.
-- Anthony Berno

I'm reluctant to give particular examples of this [being
oppressive when oppression is all one knows], because the
examples I can give are, by their very nature, highly
politically charged.  But a few come to mind, like misogyny
in the gay community, misandry among lesbians, gang justice
among black South Africans, the treatment of perceived
counterrevolutionaries among guerillas in El Salvador, etc.
-- Anthony Berno

Why aren't there any gay-nerd-bear bars, anyway?  Ones where
bear programmers network their computers through glory holes
and exchange filthy email?  Now, there's a market!
-- Anthony Berno

The things we value in our lives are not valuable for their
permanence, but for their ability to give us pleasure for
today and experience for tomorrow.
-- Anthony Berno

Every loss has as a necessary prerequisite the possession of
something wonderful.  The possession of something wonderful
has as an inevitable consequence its loss.  If you don't
have loss, you have nothing.
-- Anthony Berno

Courting Catholics is like trying to put out a fire with an
eyedropper.  Sometimes, you have to let the fire burn a
while, even make it worse, while you run up the river to
break the dam.
-- Anthony Berno

Everyone is always in favor of general economy and
particular expenditure.
-- Anthony Eden

Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being
intelligible.
-- Anthony Hope Hawkins

There are many people who believe that this disease is God's
vengeance, but I believe it was sent to teach people how to
love and understand and have compassion.  I have learned
more about love, selflessness and human understanding from
the people I have met in this great adventure in the world
of AIDS than I ever did in the cutthroat, competitive world
in which I spent my life.
-- Anthony Perkins

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking
outward together in the same direction.
-- Antoine de St.-Exupery

One cannot build life from refrigerators, politics, credit
statements and crossword puzzles.  That is impossible.  Nor
can one exist for any length of time without poetry, without
color, without love.
-- Antoine de St.-Exupery

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything
to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.
-- Antoine de St.-Exupery

On ne voit q'avec le coeur, d'essentiel est invisible pour
les yeux.
-- Antoine de St.-Exupery

Any idiot can face a crisis.  It's the day-to-day living
that wears you out.
-- Anton Chekhov

"Truth" never set anyone free.  It is only *doubt* which
will bring mental emancipation.
-- Anton LaVey

If you do not raise your eyes you will think you are the
highest point.
-- Antonio Porchia
   "Voces," 1968

The fox knows many things -- the hedgehog one *big* one.
-- Archilochus

Melancholy men, of all others, are the most witty. 
-- Aristotle

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a
thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a
slow-ripening fruit.
-- Aristotle

Nature does nothing uselessly. 
-- Aristotle

Equality consists in the same treatment of similar persons.
-- Aristotle

Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable
possibilities.
-- Aristotle

Even God cannot change the past.
-- Aristotle
   "Nicomachean Ethics"

What is a friend?  A single soul dwelling in two bodies. 
-- Aristotle

Philosophy's all right, when you have a house to think about
it in.
-- Arlo Guthrie

Lord, that's so simple.  If you hate your job, quit it.  If
your friends are tedious, go out and find new ones.  You are
*queer*, you lucky fool, and that makes you one of life's
buccaneers, free from the clutter of 2,000 years of
Judeo-Christian sermonizing.  Stop feeling sorry for
yourself and start hoisting your sails.  You haven't a
moment to lose.
-- Armistead Maupin
   "Advocate,"  January 8, 1985.

Speaking of gastronomy, have I ever served you that meal for
40 guests, _Spam in Allium_?
-- Steve Dyer
No.  Tallis about it.
-- Arne Adolfsen

I think it highly unlikely that the sight of Madonna
jiggling around in a parking garage singing "Borderline"
will strike people 50 years hence with the same force that
people are struck with even today when they see Dietrich in
a tuxedo kissing a woman full on the lips in the 62-year old
"Morocco".
-- Arne Adolfsen

You've never seen a slutty outfit until you've seen Jane
Russell's big showgirl outfit in "The French Line." It makes
Madonna's cone-tit outfit look like something from off the
rack in the Cheryl Tiegs boutique at Sears.
-- Arne Adolfsen

Keep in mind that a talent for camp cannot be learned -- you
either have it, or you've had it.
-- Arne Adolfsen

My one question now is: what's HWP?  The phrase turns up in
a lot of the ads.
-- George Reilly
Happy When Porked?  Hot Wax Pig?  Handy With Pliers?
Habitually Whining Princess?
-- Arne Adolfsen

It seems to me that the people who are fighting amongst
themselves to get into position to lick Perot's billion
dollar asshole are the same people who've spent the last 10+
years responding to corporate America's great "we" campaign.
US magazine, USA Today, Newsweek's and Time's and now the NY
Times' "*We* think that X is Y", Good Morning America, Rock
Star Benefits to Feed the Hungry/ Stop Global Warming/Save
Family Farms/End Racism/Whatever, "We Are the World", blah
blah blah blah.  This is not a real "we", which would imply
an individual commitment to, or a self-identification with,
a collective; rather, it's a packaged-commodity "we." Don't
presume to speak for *us* unless you know who *we* are.
-- Arne Adolfsen

Oh yes, the sentimentality for "unborn babies," but apparent
lack of concern for "born babies." What are you once you
*are* born?  Pre-dead?
-- Arne Adolfsen

Should I do something about the way I feel, or just follow
along with everyone else?  I'm a research engineer.
-- Lawrence Clarke
A motsseur who's currently without net access suggested the
perfect solution to your problem: next year, why don't you
march in Omaha's parade with a slide rule pinned to your
sweater?
-- Arne Adolfsen

I think Ketelby gives Delius a run for his money.
-- Arne Adolfsen

I dislike Lillian Hellman because she was a grandstanding,
opportunistic plagiarist and self-mythologizer whose writing
is just barely competent.  I *do* have an aversion to the
kind of thinking that equates popular success with artistic
value.  Lillian Hellman, that old fraud, was terribly
successful in marketing her shabby wares.  That does not
make her an artist.
-- Arne Adolfsen

Are you perhaps under the misapprehension that I intended to
be fair about this?
-- Arne Adolfsen

Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of
hope.
-- Arnold Glasow

Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage,
not a harbor.
-- Arnold Toynbee

Always wear gloves to a restaurant, to the theatre, when you
go to lunch, or to a formal dinner, or to a dance.  Always
take them off when you eat.  The question of length and
color is one of transient fashion and personal taste.
-- Emily Post
Go back and read that sentence; take its lesson to heart.
-- Arnold Zwicky

Labeling something as sarcasm utterly undercuts the effect.
The whole point about sarcasm is that it's risky; it depends
on your hearer getting the literal meaning and then seeing
that you can't mean *that* so you must mean something else
and working out what that other thing must be.  Your hearer
has to do some interpretive work, and that work *is* the
effect.
-- Arnold Zwicky

Epithets like "breeder" and "cocksucker" really aren't
parallel, and can't be.  An epithet like "cocksucker" arises
from the *contempt* of one group for those in a stigmatized
and/or marginalized group; such words are commonly used as
instruments of social control, to warn people away from the
behaviors of the marginalized group (I'm sure that strayt
boyz use "cocksucker" much much more often to one another,
as part of what I think of as "masculinity practice." than
they do to actual cocksuckers like me), as well as to throw
up a wall of fear and hate between themselves and the
(largely unknown and therefore potentially dangerous, deeply
different and therefore contaminated) marginalized group.

"Breeder" doesn't work like that at all.  There is fear in
there -- fear with a real-life, adrenalin-pumping basis --
and as a result some hate, too, but the central emotion is
*rage*, rage like that of a dog directed, after long and
bitter experience, against the person who beats it savagely.
-- Arnold Zwicky

Looks like, if you want a half-decent pun filter you need
one that can do just about everything except wash glitches
and cool the common clod.
-- Arnold Zwicky

Just about all real intellectual activity starts from the
understanding that *there is a problem here*, especially in
things we take for granted.
-- Arnold Zwicky

There is a very big world outside this newsgroup
[soc.motss], and most of it is inimical enough to satisfy
anybody's needs for combat.  In any case, there is
alt.politics.homosexuality, which really truly was created
for (among other things) the airing of opinions about
gayfolk.  (Yes, it's an unpleasant place, but then the
opinions in question are on the whole lamentable, so what do
you expect?  If the outhouse smells, do you then decide to
shit in the kitchen, where it's nicer?)
-- Arnold Zwicky

A real conversation passes back and forth among many
participants, and its course is like the meander of a river.
There is no guiding hand.  People join and leave, as their
lives and their passions allow; the river constantly changes
its course.
-- Arnold Zwicky

[Of insults among friends:]
But I'd do this in e-mail only; no matter how i framed it in
a posting, there would always be some oxygen-breathing
rutabagas who read this group who would take it entirely the
wrong way.
-- Arnold Zwicky

Pat Buchanan as a keynote speaker?  Pat Buchanan??  I guess
the Republicans had to settle for Buchanan because they
couldn't get the speaker they really wanted.  Monday must be
Satan's bowling night.
-- Arsenio Hall

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival
value.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not
wave in a vacuum.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

"Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my
attention?" "To the curious incident of the dog in the
night-time." "The dog did nothing in the night-time." "That
was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.
-- Arthur Conan Doyle

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've
solved it.
-- Arthur Kasspe

The flashlight, seeing light in every direction it looks,
concludes there is light everywhere.
-- Arthur Koestler

The principal mark of genius is not perfection but
originality, the opening of new frontiers.
-- Arthur Koestler

An era can be said to end when its illusions are
exhausted. 
-- Arthur Miller

Data is a lot like humans: It is born.  Matures.  Gets
married to other data, divorced.  Gets old.  One thing that
it doesn't do is die.  It has to be killed.
-- Arthur Miller

Most people ask for happiness on condition.  Happiness can
only be felt if you don't set any conditions.
-- Artur Rubinstein

We create a leader by locating one in the crowd who is
standing up.  We designate this victim as a 'stand-up guy'
by the simple expedient of sitting down around him.
-- Arturo Binewski

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the
problem.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call
whatever you hit the target.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

"The Good Book" -- one of the most remarkable euphemisms
ever coined.
-- Ashley Montagu

It is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence.  And
there are so many silences to be broken.
-- Audre Lorde

Being called a poetess brings out the terroristress in me.
-- Audre Lorde

I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven't
got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg

Universities have created all our miseries.  Universities do
more damage than cluster bombs.
-- Ayatollah Khomeini

An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away.
-- B. Kliban

When told he was making more per year than the President,
Babe Ruth replied, "Well, I had a better year than he did."
-- Babe Ruth

O Son of Man!  Veiled in my immemorial being and in the
ancient eternity of Mine essence, I knew My love for thee;
therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image
and revealed to thee My beauty.
-- Baha'u'llah

I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of
moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal, or knowingly
spread a venereal disease.  Never speed up to hit a
pedestrian or, of course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has
already been hit.  From which it followed, of course, that
one would never, ever -- on pain of deletion from dozens of
Christmas card lists across the country -- vote Republican.
-- Barbara Ehrenreich
   "Automating Politics"

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I do wonder about
people who waste time, in a world needing more love,
worrying about the gender of who it is I happen to love.
And when they act on their beliefs to try and trample our
civil rights ...  religious fervor in the expression of
bigotry is no piety.
-- Barry Archer

If you would preserve peace, then prepare for peace.
-- Barthelemy Enfantin

"The man in the wilderness said to me,/ 'How many
strawberries grow in the sea?'/ I answered him as I thought
good --/ 'As many red herrings as grow in the wood.'"
-- Beatrix Potter

How can I worry about your miserable violin when I am
speaking to my God?
-- Beethoven

Competitions are for horses, not artists.
-- Bela Bartok

Confound these ancestors.  They've stolen our best ideas!
-- Ben Jonson

There has been opposition to every innovation in the
history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-- Benjamin Dana

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no
happiness without action.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with
me.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

Nothing ever perplexes an adversary so much as an appeal to
his honor.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

I must follow the people.  Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli

If you are not very clever you should be conciliatory.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect
generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

All would live long, but none would be old.
-- Benjamin Franklin

There never was a good war, or a bad peace.
-- Benjamin Franklin

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little
temporary safety deserve neither liberty not safety.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will
probably tell you.  Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is
all.
-- Bernard Levin
   "Daily Mail," 1964

I am free, no matter what rules surround me.  If I find them
tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I
break them.  I am free because I know that I alone am
morally responsible for everything I do.
-- Bernardo de la Paz

To be modest is to understand oneself as being capable of
all men's weaknesses.
-- Bernard of Clairvaux

Erst kommt das Fressen, dann die Moral.
-- Bertold Brecht
   "Dreigroschenoper"

It is easier to rob by setting up a bank than by holding up
a bank clerk.
-- Bertold Brecht

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics
are always so sure of themselves but wiser people are full
of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by
education.
-- Bertrand Russell

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for
trivial reasons.
-- Bertrand Russell

What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to
find out, which is the exact opposite.
-- Bertrand Russell

We ought to stand up and look the world frankly in the face.
We ought to make the best we can of the world, and if it is
not so good as we wish, after all it will still be better
than what these others have made it in all these ages.  A
good world needs knowledge, kindliness and courage; it does
not need a regretful hankering after the past, or a
fettering of the free intelligence by the words uttered long
ago by ignorant men.  It needs a fearless outlook and a free
intelligence.  It needs hope for the future, not looking back
all the time towards a past that is dead which we trust will
be far surpassed by the future that our intelligence can
create.
-- Bertrand Russell

One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to
avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything beyond
this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
-- Bertrand Russell

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence
that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the
silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is
more often likely to be foolish than sensible.
-- Bertrand Russell
   "Marriage and Morals" (1929)

It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life
I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
-- Bertrand Russell

As far as I can remember, there is not one word in the
Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a
delight to moralists.
-- Bertrand Russell

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our
intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and
science as our guidelines.
-- Bertrand Russell

Some would sooner die than think.  In fact, they often do. 
-- Bertrand Russell

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is have a
baby in a stable by an unknown father.
-- Bette Midler

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if
you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills

The constant man does not lose his courage in misfortune.  A
torch may point toward the ground, but its flame will soar
upwards.
-- Bhartrihari

The Lord is a man of war. 
-- Bible
   Exodus 15:3

The wise man's eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in
darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event
happeneth to them all.  Then said I in my heart, As it
happeneth to the fool so it happeneth even to me; and why
was I then more wise?  Then I said in my heart, that this is
also vanity.  For there is no remembrance of the wise more
than of the fool for ever; seeing that which now is in the
days to come shall all be forgotten.  And how dieth the wise
man?  As the fool.
-- Bible
   Ecclesiastes 2:14-16

As of this date I have not qoated one thing that Perot has
said or done, because I can not back it up yet.  I will,
when I bring up particular issues, qoate my sources so
others may read if they wish.
-- Bil Snodgrass

The experience of programming Windows vs the experience of
programming NeXTStep is like going to the dentist and having
a root canal without anaesthetic vs going to the dentist and
having your gums cleaned with some nitrous oxide thrown in
for the entertainment side of things.
-- Bill Bumgarner

Our families *have* values, but our government doesn't.
-- Bill Clinton
   Democratic National Convention, 1992

Recession: your friend loses his job.  Depression: you lose
your job.  Recovery: Bush loses his job.
-- Bill Davidsen

I don't worry about safely using my hp calculator or yacc,
or the ruler and pencil on my desk.  Why should we *accept*
the attitude that it is ok to *need* to worry about safely
using the rest of our tools.  Today there is a legitimate
saftey issue for computer users that we should all be aware
of.  The answer is not acceptance of a necessary amount of
paranoia.
-- Bill Mangione-Smith

The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the
plate.  Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody
always does.
-- Bill Vaughan

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for
democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national
election.
-- Bill Vaughan

I defy anyone to propose a situation where it would work.
If you could, it would seriously weaken the rationale behind
the ban, but as it is the whole thing is just a shouting
match.
-- Matt Freivald
There is no rationale behind the ban.  One cannot weaken
what never existed in the first place.
-- Billy Green

Now that it is increasingly clear that HIV can be
transmitted to heterosexuals ...  the self-righteous must
find another reason for gay-bashing.
-- Bishop Desmond Tutu

The nearer the Church the further from God.
-- Bishop Lancelot Andrewes
   1555-1626

C makes it easy for you to shoot yourself in the foot.  C++
makes that harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole
leg.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup

The [whites] did not care for each other the way our people
did.  ...  They would take everything from each other they
could.  ...  They had forgotten the earth was their mother.
...  [They] even had the grass penned up.
-- Black Elk

Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong.
-- Blair Houghton

The heart has its reasons which reason does not know.
-- Blaise Pascal

On admiration: No animal admires another animal.
-- Blaise Pascal

Most of the evils of life arise from man's being unable to
sit still in a room. 
-- Blaise Pascal

The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to
put first.
-- Blaise Pascal

Things are always at their best in the beginning.
-- Blaise Pascal

No jesus, know peace.  Know jesus, no peace.
-- Bob Beauchaine

Mapplethorpe is dead and he can still piss off Helms.  That
makes him, like, some kind of hero in my book.
-- Bob Goldthwaite

"I have AIDS.  I could be an African-American woman, a
Latino man, a 10-year-old boy or girl.  AIDS has many faces.
And AIDS knows no class or gender, race or religion, or
sexual orientation.  AIDS does not discriminate.  But George
Bush's White House does."
-- Bob Hattoy
   at the Democratic National Convention, 1992

It all depends on what is more important to you: the right
to act in a bizarre fashion, or political progress & social
acceptance.
-- Bob Sarver
The fallacy of the false dilemma occurs when only two
alternatives of many are presented as choices in an
argument.  Sarver, a hitherto unknown philosophical talent,
has refined the art of false dilemma.  The new and exciting
development he adds to the prior art is the presentation of
*the same thing* as though it were two distinct choices in
an argument.  As yet, no practical use has been found for
this rhetorical device, but certain parties from Houston are
considering the funding of further investigations.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

Many times one is asked to "listen" to the same dusty old
set of lies, factual errors, hate and stupidity that some
fool thinks is an acceptable ethical system.  Why bother?
Believe me, it gets old real fast.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

I write as one who spent far too much energy devoted to
fantasy wish fulfillment scenarios of painful death to my
enemies, and can say for certain that indulging in these
fantasies did no harm to my enemies, and a great deal of
harm to myself.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

There is such a thing as making an argument appropriate for
the intended audience.  Just as one doesn't expect a third
grader to follow Kant, one doesn't bother crafting witty
replies to idiocy.  It's a waste of time, and annoys the
idiot.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

Many topics summarily dismissed as "idiocy" here have been
brought up on a regular basis for far too long by a
seemingly endless succession of half-wits who think their
feculant pearls of wisdom are somehow new, and deserving of
a carefully crafted response.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

Let us spread the idea of tolerance by practicing it
ourselves, even toward bigots.
-- Lee Crocker
They want to defeat us politically as a prelude to
exterminating us.  We need to defeat them politically in
order to survive.  This is why equating our intolerance for
their attitudes with their intolerance of us and our
attitudes is stupid.  They simply do not compare.
-- Bob Lodenkamper

Everybody wants to do the horizontal bop. 
-- Bob Seger

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington

My work is an alternative to the gay liberation movement and
to the gay press.  The gay press has to be sexless because
they are public.  And in order to be publicly gay they have
to be closet homosexuals.  My books are all about
homosexuality rather than gayness.  In other words, gay is
what they are in public, and homosexual is what they are in
private.  My books are all about their private lives.  It has
nothing to do with gay liberation, gay rights, gays in the
military, civil rights, fundraising, political candidates,
and all that stuff.  If you're going to be a lobbyist or
lawyer running a fundraising campaign, you cannot be sexual.
It is a necessity that the whole gay liberation movement had
to give up sex in order to go public as gay.  They had to
give up homosexuality in public, but they still are secretly
homosexual.
-- Boyd McDonald

But I wouldn't try to please the stupid people.  That's what
some homosexuals think we should try to do.  It won't work
because the bigotry comes not from the behavior of the
minority but from the mind of the bigot.  A sexually
inadequate person like Patrick Buchanan has a need within
himself to have this attitude toward homosexuality.  His
attitude is not based on observation of homosexuals.  It
comes from within himself.  It's the same as anti-Semitism.
The _New_York_Times_ is a Jewish paper, and it is extremely
respectful.  But an anti-Semite is going to say, well these
are just rich Park Avenue Jews.  He is not going to draw his
observation based on the behavior of the _Times_; it's going
to come from within himself.  He has a need to be
anti-Semitic.  You can't please these people.
-- Boyd McDonald

Contrary to their reputations, the real hot homosexuals who
have sex in toilets and so forth are simply nicer people and
more concerned, more caring, move loving, more affectionate,
and friendlier than the prudes.  The prudes pretend that
they are the ones who are decent, and the ones in the
toilets are indecent, but it's just the other way around.
Prudes are mean, and they have a huge deficit in their
lives.
-- Boyd McDonald

Unix is like sex.  If you haven't had it yet, you don't
understand what all the fuss is about.  Once you've had it,
it's hard to live without.
-- Brad Morrison

I don't know if one ever fully gets used to or accepts their
sexuality.  Hets smugly think they do, but only because they
haven't ever thought to question it -- but for queers, there
always is a time where one deals with what they are.
-- Brad Shapcott

Communist    (CAHM-ee) n. 1. Member of the Communist Party.
		2. A legendary boogeyman appearing only in
	fundraising letters.  Any actual  resemblance
	between (1) and (2) is purely coincidental.
	See Red.
Pinko        (PINK-oh) n. 1. An all-purpose innuendo used to
	imply that your  opponent may be a homosexual when
	you don't have any actual evidence and don't want
	to be sued for libel, in which case you can maintain
	that, really, pink is just a shade of red, honest.
	See the pyramids along the Nile.
Sympathizer  (CAHM-ee-SIMP) n. 1. Your opponent in any election.
	See Stooge.
Tinkerbell   (TINK-er-bell) n. 1. A cutesy way of calling someone
	homosexual  without sounding too harsh or making your
	meaning clear enough to be sued for libel.  See Nancy
	Boy, limp wristed, mince.
-- Brent Capps

If you want to fight discrimination, you must first make the
injustice visible.
-- Brent Capps

This should not be accomplished by holding the stereotype
homosexuals down, but rather by working with the gray
masses.
-- Baard Kjos
I agree.  We stereotypes shouldn't be held down.  We
should be securely *tied* down.  Gray is quite a nice accent
to black leather, too.
-- Brent Capps

I haven't engaged in any sexual activity with anyone in
over a year.  Am I no longer gay?
-- Arne Adolfsen
No, I'm afraid you've been downgraded to amusing.
-- Brent Capps

I thought leather *was* sort of like church.  I worship it
on my knees...
-- Brent Capps

Male "banana"'s ass is valued high by white gay men.  The
reason for that are two folds.
-- (some bigot on soc.culture.china) 
Hateful diatribe.  *Wonderful* malaprop.
-- Brent Davies

I am SICK--incurably SICK--of listening, listening,
listening to homophobes-- both strayt and *not*, mind you,
since (as we know) closeted 'phobes can be especially
vicious--telling me over and over again in endlessly
inventive ways how *bad* I am, how *unworthy* I am, how
*immoral* I am, how *unsuited* I am, how *unrealistic* I'm
being, how *much* I'm expecting, how *little* I'm giving,
how *disgusting* I am, how *sinful* I am.  And I--yes,
*I*--so sorry to be selfish here--get *nowhere* as far as my
personal rights go.  So I'm through with passive listening
as a sole strategy, it's just that simple.  Sure I'll
listen.  But this time around, the fists are up too;
listening is now something I reserve exclusively for nice
people, and Perot does NOT strike me as one.
-- Brent Davies

So: you act however you want to.  There is no "gay" way to
act.  Don't let the old stereotypes fool you: we're as
diverse as the stars.
-- Brent Davies

The reality is, gay people's behavior is a *continuum* with
an infinite number of varieties, as many as there are gay
people.  Somewhere in that continuum is you.  And only *you*
can say where that is.
-- Brent Davies

You don't look like a fag.
Funny, neither do you.
-- Brett Manz

I look at it this way: there's a whole lot of children out
there without parents.  And a whole lot of gay and lesbian
people/couples who aren't too likely to have children.  This
seems like a marvelous opportunity to empty the orphanages
and fill some lives.
-- Brett Manz

You can't be proud of who you are if you're ashamed of what
you are.
-- Brett Manz

My opinions are my own.  The truth belongs to everyone.
-- Brett Manz

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle
and will piss on your computer.
-- Brian Gollum

An early lesson in life: take control, not shit.
-- Brian Jarvis

When someone mentions "the City" in my presence, I usually
interpret it to mean exciting Charlton, Ontario (pop.  200,
including cows).  Anyone who uses expressions so vague
deserves to be misinterpreted on a biblical scale.
-- Brian Jarvis

It says a lot about the US, when they ban lawn darts but you
can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.
-- Brian Manz

When gay and lesbian workers can't work safely, they can't
work at optimum productivity.  Eliminating homophobia from
the workplace profits everyone.  Educational effort such as
this are critically important first steps.
-- Brian McNaught
   Consultant and Trainer AT&T, Bell Labs

The legitimacy of homosexuality lies not in its loyalty to
orthodox masculinity, but in its violation.
-- Brian Pronger

Sometimes I wish I had a knob to turn up the intelligence on
the Internet.  I have one on my monitor marked brightness,
but it doesn't seem to work very well, does it?
-- Bryan Manske

We do not have an anti-gay policy....  The problems Boy
Scouts are having are with people trying to get in: the gay
community, the homosexuals, the atheists.
-- Burford Hill
   western regional director for the Boy Scouts of America.

Isn't atheism a religion of sorts?  A belief *about* a
supreme being or metaphysical something-or-other.
-- Douglas R Hellmann
Is celibacy a sexual practice?  If so, how does a celibate
know when he's having sex?
-- C.D. Tavares

Some people have said that it was a homophobic
administration.  I think that's a bad word.  Homophobia
has the connotation of being fearful.  This wasn't fear,
it was hatred.
-- C. Everett Koop


One gift of birthdays is that the older we get, the more
younger there are of sizable age.
-- C.F. Borgman
   "River Road"

And now, what will become of us without any barbarians?
Those people were a kind of solution.
-- C.P. Cavafy   

You wouldn't know a good time if it stripped naked, hopped
on your face, and started wiggling!
-- C. Stanley

Acting Gay?  How can one act gay?  We are gay.
-- Cable King

Domini caveat e smilium, diem e smilium, Corpus Christi e
smilium.
-- Caesar
   proposing a ban on the use of smileys on Rome's
   "usenet", ca. 40 A.D.

The chain that can be yanked is not the cosmic chain.
-- Cal Keegan

All esoteric teachings seek to apprehend the unseen
happenings in the psyche, and all claim supreme authority
for themselves.
-- Carl Jung

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
-- Carl Jung

The only thing we have to fear on this planet is man.
-- Carl Jung

Erotica is stuff that's meant to be read with one hand.
-- Carl Manz

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first
create the universe.
-- Carl Sagan

All of the books in the world contain no more information
than is broadcast as video in a single large American city
in a single year.  Not all bits have equal value.
-- Carl Sagan

The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
-- Carl Sandburg

I like having a machine called 'elvis' on the network
because that way, I can say 'ping elvis' and have it come
back with 'elvis is alive'.
-- Carl Shipley

The world is made up of *too many* insensitive, malicious
people unworthy of my attention who by their every word and
action declare themselves an enemy of who and what I
am...and these people make decisions that affect my life.
Fortunately, I have developed the self-confidence and
strength to withstand these things or I wouldn't be here
today...but I'm *still pissed*, and I have every *right* to
that anger.
-- Carleton Cornish

For an instant I think I *saw*.  I *saw* the loneliness of
man as a gigantic wave which had been frozen in front of me,
held back by the invisible wall of a metaphor.
-- Carlos Casteneda

Those who do not remember history are doomed to sound silly.
-- Carole Ashmore

What's the use of playing roles unless there's excess
involved?
-- Carter Wilson

People who use jumper cables are condoning the use of tit
clamps in Contra Costa County.
-- Carter Wilson

In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than
violence.
-- Cesar Chavez

To know the world one must construct it.
-- Cesare Pavese

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get
yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is
to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding
fathers used in the struggle for independence.
-- Charles A. Beard

Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing
oneself. 
-- Charles Baudelaire

Unable to abolish love, the Church has decided at least to
disinfect it, and has invented marriage.
-- Charles Baudelaire

Before you kill something make sure you have something
better to replace it with; something better than political
opportunist slamming hate horseshit in the public park.
-- Charles Bukowski
   "Notes of a Dirty Old Man," 1969

That's what friendship means: sharing the prejudice of
experience.
-- Charles Bukowski

The present time has one advantage over every other -- it is
our own.
-- Charles Caleb Colton

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the
servant.
-- Charles De Gaulle

It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually
at human nature and affect to despise it, are among its
worst and least pleasant examples.
-- Charles Dickens

Where there is an open mind, there will always be a
frontier.
-- Charles F. Kettering

Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.
-- Charles G. Dawes

Democracy is the power of equal votes for unequal minds.
-- Charles I of England

Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
-- Charles McCabe

If you think this is weird, just look at yourselves.
-- Charles Mingus

He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth
makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.
-- Charles Peguy

What do I put behind my ears to attract men?  My Legs!
-- Charles Pierce

No one should be getting special privileges, not white
heterosexual Protestant males and not any other specific
group.  Everyone should be *equal*.
-- Steven J. Sobol
It's just that white heterosexual Protestant males are more
equal than the rest of us.  It's been that way since the
Founding Fathers established this country.  Women,
minorities, gay/lesbian/bisexual people, and other oppressed
groups have been working to be included for the past couple
of centuries.
-- Charles S. Collins

Linus: I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about
   tomorrow.  Maybe we should think only about today.
Charlie Brown: No, that's giving up.  I'm still hoping
   that yesterday will get better.
-- Charles Schultz

Special Rights: Aspiration towards any social status higher
than marginalized clown; this being the very highest level
that even the most progressive strains of heterosexual
society will ever grudgingly grant the male homosexual.
Most social duties and responsibilities in the heterosexual
context are "special rights" in the homosexual context.
-- Charlie Fulton

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited
over nothing ...  and then they marry him.
-- Cher

It is futile to try to force your will on people who can
tune you out with the press of a key.
-- Chip Salzenberg

No part of this message may reproduce, store itself in a
retrieval system, or transmit disease, in any form, without
the permissiveness of the author.
-- Chris Shaw

It's spring and the idiots are in bloom.
-- Chris Stephenson

If stupidity was a crime, honey, you'd get a life sentence.
-- Chris Stephenson

May your future be limited only by your dreams.
-- Christa McAuliffe

There is still no known reason for lesbianism.

Oh, c'mon.  What about Susan Sarandon?  She's a great reason
for lesbianism.  Also Jamie Lee Curtis -- yum!  And of
course, let's not forget Warren Beatty, a stunningly good
reason for lesbianism.
-- Christina Black

When I ever become concerned with whether or not I'm an
embarrassment to the majority of people [gay or otherwise] I
think I'll have long since lost sight of the reason for
action in the first place.
-- Christopher B. DeVault

Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the
slaves that can be sold.
-- Christopher Columbus

There is only one success -- to be able to spend your life
in your own way.
-- Christopher Morley

Accept me for what I am and I'll accept you for what you're
accepted as.
-- Christopher Nolan

Laws were made to be broken.
-- Christopher North

Lao-Tan asked Confucius: "What do you mean by benevolence
and righteousness?" Confucius said: "To be in one's inmost
heart in kindly sympathy with all things; to love all men
and allow no selfish thoughts: this is the nature of
benevolence and righteousness."
-- Chuang Tsu

I think their experience with us may have helped their
contemptuousness; the ignorance they come by naturally.
-- Chuck McManis

Verbosity says it all.
-- Ciaran McHale

Being able to ask is the only way to learn.
-- Chris Bazzie
Not true.  One can also go into a bookshop or library,
obtain a good book and read it.
-- Ciaran McHale

I was talking with a friend last night and I found out that
a photo of Blair and me dancing naked in the 1990 gay pride
parade is one of the prominent photos in the gay studies
department of City College here in San Francisco.
-- Jeff Dauber
Maybe Andy Warhol was wrong about the 15 minutes of fame.
Perhaps he meant 15 cm. 
-- Ciaran McHale

What is dignity without honesty? 
-- Cicero

Salus populi suprema est lex.  (The good of the people is
the greatest law.)
-- Cicero

Cedant arma togae, concedant laurea laudi.  (Let war yield
to peace, laurels to paeans.)
-- Cicero

Nervos belli, pecuniam infinitam.  (The sinews of war,
unlimited money.)
-- Cicero

Silent enim leges inter arma.  (Laws are inoperative in
war.)
-- Cicero

Nihil tam absurde dici potest, quod non dicatur ab aliquo
pilosophorum.  (Nothing so absurd can be said, that some
philosopher has not said it.)
-- Cicero

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike
charity, it should end there.
-- Clare Boothe Luce

There are no hopeless situations, only hopeless people.
-- Clare Boothe Luce

History repeats itself.  That's one of the things wrong with
history.
-- Clarence Darrow

I don't believe in god because I don't believe in Mother
Goose.
-- Clarence Darrow

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward
our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the
same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our
common doom.
-- Clarence Darrow

Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom,
Justice is what comes out of a courtroom.
-- Clarence Darrow

The true worth of a researcher lies in pursuing what he did
not seek in his experiment as well as what he sought.
-- Claude Bernard

The experimenter who does not know what he is looking for
will not understand what he finds. 
-- Claude Bernard

The world began without man, and it will complete itself
without him.
-- Claude Levi-Strauss
   "Tristes Tropiques," 1955

Were we the ones who called the shots, there would be no
institutional discrimination against us.
-- Clay Bond

Stupidity is evil waiting to happen.
-- Clay Bond

I got up April Fools' Day, stumbled into the kitchen to make
coffee, and stepped on Mr.  Wasp.  He objected to being
stepped on; I objected to his objection.  I shared my
feelings about this with Mr.  Wasp, nurturingly of course,
and I'm sure he was quite in touch with his Inner Larva as I
squished him into pate de wasp noir on the kitchen floor.  I
think I woke the whole neighborhood as I shared ...
-- Clay Bond

When ducks are too stupid to realize that they are ducks,
they will insist that you are "mud-slinging" or making
"cheap shots" if you call them ducks.
-- Clay Bond

"Power of expression" and "creativity" are luxuries
available only to those who can write.  You cannot make
Poulet a la Vallee d'Auge if you do not know how to use the
stove.
-- Clay Bond

What you said was perfectly clear -- but not to you.
-- Clay Bond

There is an important distinction between prejudice and
bigotry which we often gloss over.  Prejudice results from
misinformation and lack of exposure, and can be eradicated
by education; bigotry is obstinate, having begun as
prejudice, but now blind and irrational.  The bigot cannot
be educated, because he/she actively refuses to give up
his/her blindness, even in the face of information.
-- Clay Bond

Do you think the Klan will let the [Gay Big Apple] Corps
dress up in skirts and cheer for them the next time they
have a rally?
-- Clay Bond

You give yourself too much credit.  One must first be
sentient to be wrong.
-- Clay Bond

If we promise to miss you will you leave, or are we going to
have to get out the salt?
-- Clay Bond

"What's the difference between grammar and orthography?"

Dear heart,

Pull out your nearest dictionary and look up the word
"pedantic." Assume a lotus position, breathe deeply, and
instead of contemplating the Allness of the Oneness of
Your Navelness, meditate on this:

  "What might be intriguing about someone who prides
  themselves on their gramatical [sic] perfectionism?"

Then take a pill.
-- Clay Bond

There is an important distinction between prejudice and
bigotry which we often gloss over.  Prejudice results from
misinformation and lack of exposure, and can be eradicated
by education; bigotry is obstinate, having begun as
prejudice, but now blind and irrational.  The bigot cannot
be educated, because he/she actively refuses to give up
his/her blindness, even in the face of information.
-- Clay Bond

A very useful distinction, which I quote in case anyone
missed it the first time around.
-- David Christopher Rogers

Useful only so long as we remember that faggots and dykes
are no less fond of their own hateful ignorances, and no
less prone to hug the security blanket of their own
bigotries. 
-- Clay Bond

If you were arrested, would you get down on your knees and
gratefully thank the cop for not beating you to death as
well?
-- Clay Bond

I pity you if you feel that the "support" of such
fair-weather "friends" is more important than self-respect.
Such "friends" offer no support, but rather slavery in a
different cell: that of their approval.
-- Clay Bond

Anyone whose grasp of reality is so tenuous that they are
scared away by phosphors on a screen is seriously neurotic
and needs to be seeing a psychiatrist.
-- Clay Bond

You must be able to grasp a point before you can make one.
-- Clay Bond

Let me write that down and have it embossed on my garbage
can.
-- Clay Bond

It is much less painful to take the rosy glasses off
yourself than it is to have them knocked off by a fist.
-- Clay Bond

Rosa von Praunheim should get a job which would better
utilize his magnificent talent -- bagging groceries, for
example.
-- Clay Bond

She did not say that water is wet; she only happened to use
it as an example of a fluid.
-- Clay Bond

When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than
you did before.  You see more in you than there was before.
-- Clifton Fadiman
   "Any Number Can Play," 1957

I still comb my hair the same, still wear the same cologne,
And I still drive that pickup truck that the same old bank
still owns.  Since you left, everybody says I'm not the guy
they've known, The lights are on, but nobody's home.
-- Clint Black
   "Nobody's Home"

There is no delight the equal of dread. 
-- Clive Barker

Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the
first culture available to everybody and entirely governed
by what the people want.  The most terrifying thing is what
people do want.
-- Clive Barnes
   "New York Times," 1969

I invented my life by taking for granted that everything
that I did not like would have an opposite, which I would
like.
-- Coco Chanel

What little I have read of these two [the New Republic's
Morton Kondracke and Fred Barnes] is sufficient to grieve
the trees that had to be sacrificed for the paper to print
their cant.
-- Colbrun Eigen

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely
to grasp the world, but to change it.
-- Colin Wilson

L'amour vient de l'aveuglement, l'amitie de la connaissance.
(Love comes from blindness, friendship from knowledge.)
-- Comte de Bussy-Rabutin
   "Histoire Amoureuse des Gaules"

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
-- Confucius

What I am saying is that gay is good because it is, not
because we can't help it.  Love is good because it's love,
not because we can't choose to love in any other fashion.
-- Cory Kerens

It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all
with it.
-- Courteline

Slums may well be breeding grounds of crime, but middle
class suburbs are incubators of apathy and delirium.
-- Cyril Connolly
   "The Unquiet Grave" 1945

Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first call promising.
-- Cyril Connolly

The chief product of an automated society is a widespread
and deepening sense of boredom.
-- Cyril Parkinson

Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion
moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot.
-- D.H. Lawrence

To preserve the silence within -- amid all the noise.  To
remain open and quiet no matter how many tramp across the
parade ground in whirling dust under an arid sky.
-- Dag Hammarskjold

"C579676@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu -- not *just* another number."
At the University of Iowa, you aren't just a another number.
You're a just another number with a dollar sign in front of it.
-- Dan R Sydnes

[Regarding the BSA:] It's now somehow not the politically
correct thing to, God forbid, have an organization that's
still dedicated to instilling pre-teen and teenage boys with
proper religious and moral values.
-- Stan Krieger
Yup, it's a darned shame they ever had to let in the Jews
and Negroes, too.  What's all this namby-pamby toleration
crap they're trying to brainwash our kids with?  Do they
want them to think for themselves or something?  Are they
crazy?
-- Dan Sissman

You can make all the rational points you want about it, but
jealousy has nothing to do with rational thinking.
-- Dana Bergen

If anyone could be considered to be tagging along, it is the
white-middle-class-conventional-conservative-monogamous-
gay-men now benefitting from the past and present efforts of
those with less to lose.
-- Dana Bergen

Why on earth would you assume that insulting someone by
comparing them to a radish is in anyway insulting to
radishes?
-- Dana Bergen

Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs
from your own.  You may both be wrong.
-- Dandemis

Heterosexuals do not, in general, enumerate reasons they
aren't coming out.
-- Daniel A. Murphy

We tend to see our own experiences as the normal process, so
we are often amazed that anyone could have taken a different
path.  But when we do meet up, it's always fascinating to
compare notes about the different ways to get there.
-- Daniel Gilly

Falwell is a real asshole.  
-- John Allen Phebus
I, on the other hand, think he's revolting.
-- Daniel Gilly

We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses,
but from our illusions.  We are haunted, not by reality, but
by those images we have put in place of reality.
-- Daniel J. Boorstin

Well, I suppose if the bible said jump off a ten story
building you would do that to.  Why don't you pray for
intelligence.
-- Daniel Joseph Burns

The only thing that separates us from the animals is
superstition and mindless rituals.
-- Daniel Klein

Do you remember "Buck Rogers in the 25th [or whatever it
was] Century?"  It was almost totally unmemorable except for:
.  [whoever it was]'s muscular and handsome torso swaggering
   around the screen for two hours, and
.  an advanced computer in the shape of a canteen called
   "Doctor Theo" who *definitely* had had his PROMs burned
   in a hair salon!
-- Daniel MacKay

Dare to be meek. 
-- Daniel MacKay

We, the lesbian and gay community, are beginning to live
with AIDS instead of dying of AIDS.  We've been through a
hell of a ten years.  Coming out of this is going to be the
most beautiful thing our queer nation has ever seen.
-- Daniel MacKay

The Infinite Goodness has such wide arms that it takes
whatever turns to it.
-- Dante Alighieri

I'll tell you who is to blame, the Japanese are to blame.
If they hadn't invented the camcorder, none of this would
have happened.
-- Darryl Gates

June 14 -- Eight concerned parents in rural Georgia sue the
local school district for teaching their children the
alphabet, which can be used to form dirty words.
-- Dave Barry

Why did people respond to the Bakkers this way?  How could
such a grasping, shallow and flagrantly self-absorbed couple
manage to acquire such a large and fervent following?  One
widely accepted answer, of course, is that the followers had
the same average intelligence as margarine.
-- Dave Barry

Helms being fucked with a BIG dildo, upon which are scriven
the words: "National Endowment for the Arts."
-- Dave Kerlick

Always be nice to hets -- they're god's way of making more
queers.
-- Dave Rindos

I think an embryo/fetus/baby becomes a "person" when it is
smarter than a non-primate like a dog.  By those standards,
chimpanzees and gorillas are persons (although somewhat
cognitively impaired -- kind of like Fundamentalist
Christians), but human newborns are not.
-- Dave Touretzsky

When male bashing is causing men to be self-flagellating to
this degree, then yes I feel it's an issue.
-- David Ash

The United States has entered an anti-intellectual phase in
its history, perhaps most clearly seen in our virtually
thought-free political life.
-- David Baltimore

We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it
from our children.
-- David Brower

People look ridiculous when they're in ecstasy.
-- David Byrne

Schools are for training people how to listen to other
people.
-- David Byrne

Crime is a job.  Sex is a job.  Growing up is a job.  School
is a job.  Going to parties is a job.  Religion is a job.
Being creative is a job.
-- David Byrne

Sexuality does not "turn on" at puberty and "turn off"
at menopause.  It is not a thing external, no matter how
hard our culture teaches us to push it away.  It is every
bit as integral and fundamental the day you're born as it
is the day you die. 
-- David Casti

So, why stopping the fun when it is for free?
-- Alberto Pinkas
It's not free, it's not fun, and there's no stopping it.
Blech.
-- David Christopher Rogers

If I may be so bold as to suggest another project for
heterosexuals, try wearing a "gay-sloganed" button, or
better yet, T-shirt to work, around shopping, etc.  I find
the reactions I get when I wear a T-shirt which says
"LEAGUE--Lesbian and Gay United Employees of AT&T" are
markedly different than when I wear one that says (for
example) "Boston."
-- Evelyn Leeper
Depending on your state, the reaction may be as minimal as a
delayed promotion, or as catastrophic as being fired.  I
recommend avoiding these dangerous phrases and sticking to
speech with more constitutional protections, such as burning
crosses on your co-worker's lawns.
-- David Christopher Rogers

Currently, we have true equality: both gay people and
straight people can be fired because they're gay.
-- David Christopher Rogers

The direct use of physical force is so poor a solution to
the problem of limited resources that it is commonly
employed only by small children and great nations.
-- David Friedman

The disarmament of fear, in ourselves and those that oppose,
propels us.  Every step forward brings the possibility of
backlash.  But forward we go.
-- David G. Welton

If stubborn persistence were one of the scout laws, the Boy
Scouts of America would be living by their credo.  Lately it
seems that BSA has spent more time and money in court trying
to protect its discriminatory policies than doing the
obligatory "good turn daily."
-- David G. Welton

Back of tranquility lies conquered unhappiness.
-- David Grayson

Reason is and ought to be the slave of the passions and can
never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey
them.
-- David Hume

As to whether it's ethical or not is another matter
entirely.  Since I have nothing to hide, I've nothing to
complain about.  -- [common remark]
The "I have nothing to hide ..." mentality is precisely the
kind of attitude which has allowed repressive political
systems to rise to power throughout history.  That is a
*very dangerous attitude*.  I don't remember who said it,
but "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance".
-- David K. Taylor

"Frottage," or "the Princeton rub," named after Princeton
University.
-- Jack Hamilton
Having gone there, I know it is only a real Princeton rub
if: (1) It is usually done between a student and a teacher;
(2) It is preceded by an earnest conversation about F.
Scott Fitzgerald; (3) Neither partner removes his trousers.
-- David Kerlick

You can be a professional without being constipated about
it.
-- David Keyser

We've learned what a valuable contribution gay men and
lesbians make to the daily life and business of New York.
It's time for private companies to learn this message and
profit from it too.  This conference is the right start.
-- David N. Dinkins
   Mayor, New York City

Given the choice between civil liberties and the votes of
the rabid religious right, I suspect that Our Darling
President [Bush] would happily march us into the ovens and
start the gas with his own hands.
-- David Parsons

Darrell Roy Hougen writes: ['phobic shit]
Please go away, we have chainsaws.
-- David Parsons

Hold your nose and vote for Bill!
-- Howard Solomon
Well, I'd rather have a democrat fucking a bimbo than a
republican fucking the country!
-- David Preston

Death is death, if the brain no longer exists, obviously you
can't think.
-- Lawrence Foard
But you can still post...
-- David Preston

Nana is now 99, in a nursing home, healthy, and still as
sharp as a tack (not the best situation when you're
surrounded by the demented, but she makes do).
-- Steve Dyer
Ah, then she'd have no problem relating to Usenet...
-- David Preston

Unfortunately, as Usenet gets out to the masses it will
become diluted.
-- Nelson Minar
*Again*!?!? 
-- David Preston

So, by extension, people with open relationships would not
fall under this restriction; on the contrary, they show a
precedent of being open and above-board even in sensitive
areas.  How do you think good old Ross feels about that?
-- Roger Klorese
He'd probably try to get his term reduced to two years so he
could avoid the godlessness and immorality.
-- David Preston

I'm a *fabulous* cook.  You'll forget you ever wanted to eat
meat (grin), but you gotta like kids & cats.
-- Ailsa Murphy
I've heard of ovo-lacto-vegetarian, but paedo-felinus-vegetarian?
-- David Preston

When they broadcast this footage, they proceeded it with
something like "KRON has learned that a group of paedophiles
has been meeting in a public library." They implied over and
over again that these people, whose faces they were showing
on TV, were criminals.  Hell, maybe half of them are, but
the other half have been slandered and had their reputations
ruined.  It's supposed to be innocent until proven guilty,
not innocent until caught in the wrong place on a slow news
day.
-- David Preston

Good ol' Merriam-Webster knows that you can't take 'u' out
of masturbation.
-- David Preston

On behalf of all on the net, thank you for the "Fuck Off",
it will look lovely over the crapper.
-- James F. Gray
Well, at least you'll have something to look at while you
post.
-- David Preston

Or perhaps alt.sex.bondage is intermixing with your uucp
binaries; use the -preference and -orientation options on
the ls command to find out more.
-- David Schachter

It [ads showing two women who might be a couple] reminds me
of the "lesbian" scenes in Playboy magazine: women getting
it on for men's enjoyment.  I started calling this stuff
"Lesploitation" because that's basically what it is.
-- David Speakman

It was a dark day for education here when the Administration
of the University (a "top-ten" institution, totally
committed to Continuing Improvement, formerly known as Total
Quality Management) began referring to students as
"products."
-- J.N. Shaumeyer
Yes, but they have to start some place.  The next step, of
course, is to refer to them as "by-products," an
intermediate term before calling them what they really are:
effluvia.
-- David Stevenson

Living alone means that the dishes will still be sitting in
the same place tomorrow morning!
-- Gary Klein
Not in earthquake country.
-- David Stevenson

People who use radishes to insult other people are demeaning
the entire vegetable kingdom.  But I guess that's the type
of behavior we've come to expect from omnivores.
-- David Stevenson

Perhaps the best thing about the future is that it only
comes one day at a time.
-- Dean Acheson

It was an education to hear that Americans thought all Brits
(men, at least) were gay.  This is because straight America
mistakes culture for effeminacy.
-- Mick Washbrook
And then mistakes effeminacy for gayness.
-- Debby Swayne

Is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
-- Depeche Mode

Silence is the door between Love and Fear; and on Fear's
side there is no latch.
-- Diane Duane
   "The Door into Fire"

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially
profitable to dispense it.
-- Dick Cavett
   "Playboy," 1971

Looking toward the next century, Pulitzer prize winner David
Halberstamm observed, "The advantages will be held by the
society which uses its resources, natural and human, more
skillfully." To me this means extending opportunities to
everyone focusing on the values and goals we share rather
than the ways we are different.  I believe the companies and
individuals who succeed will be those who embrace human
diversity.
-- Dick McCormick
   President and CEO, U.S. West Inc.

Success can corrupt; usefulness can only exalt.
-- Dimitri Mitropoulos

What people do behind their closed doors is certainly not my
concern unless I'm behind there with 'em and wanting to do
whatever.
-- Dolly Parton

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have merely
quit in disgust.
-- Don Herold

We're not talking about the same thing," he said.  "For you
the world is weird because if you're not bored with it
you're at odds with it.  For me the world is weird because
it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my
interest has been to convince you that you must accept
responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in
this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time.  I wanted to
convince you that you must learn to make every act count,
since you are going to be here for only a short while, in
fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.
-- Don Juan

Honesty is a good thing but it is not profitable to its
possessor unless it is kept under control.
-- Don Marquis

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and
are willing to go through hell to get it.
-- Don Marquis

My great-great-great-grandfather, Samuel McIlvaine, fought
as a member of the 10th Indiana Volunteer Infantry.  He died
during the [Civil] war.
-- Clayton Cramer
All the good it does me.  He's dead and you're alive.
-- Donald Agarrat

Sometimes I catch myself thinking about my father and I
wonder what I did.  I do so many things just like him, and I
look just like him.  I look in the mirror and my face morphs
into his.  Neglect and abandonment justified from the pulpit
and the Oval Office don't belong in the life of a child.  It
still hurts.
-- Donald Agarrat

Knowing you are right is a small consolation as you hear the
jackboots coming to attempt your collection for the camps.
-- Donn Pedro

Is fighting violence WITH violence the answer? -- (whoever)
   If you want to survive.  A dead pacifist is a useless
thing.  A short statement only made once.
   A prepared pacifist, one willing and able to fight if
need be, makes a statement every time they act.
   Warriors don't exist just to decimate populations under
the "leadership" of countries.
-- Donn Pedro

Never confuse the unwillingness to do a thing with the
inability to do a thing.
-- Donn Pedro

Acknowledge your ignorance and do something about it.  Learn
something new every day.  Make it your goal to depend less
upon the generosity and charity of others by acquiring a
wide variety of skills and experiences.  There is nothing
wrong with being good at many things, master of none.  A
specialist, while valuable, can be a fish out of water when
removed from the realm of their experience.
-- Donn Pedro

Acknowledge your ignorance and do something about it.  Along
the way you will make some amazing blunders.  You will be
dumbfounded at the monumentally stupid things inexperience
can bring you to.  You will risk looking the fool to
experts.
-- Donn Pedro

Independence and freedom are only possible when you can
truly survive, maybe thrive, under a wide variety of
situations and environments.  Situations and environments
that can defeat, and even kill, the happily ignorant.
-- Donn Pedro

Kill them.  Kill them all.
I doubt that we could find enough places to dispose of
   the bodies.
You could put them in the local library.  No one ever
   goes there. 
-- Donn Pedro

Homosexuals do build relationships and families; we are no
more able nor inclined to stop doing that than heterosexuals
are.  Negative pressures from society don't prevent us from
falling in love; they just make us suffer for it when we do.
My partner and my child and I are in fact a family.  The
question is whether or not society tries to undermine the
functioning of my family at every opportunity.  You are
entitled to choose to participate in that undermining, of
course, but you should not be surprised to be labeled a
homophobe if you do.  It is more than sex that is the issue
for most homosexuals; it is our lives and our families.
-- Doretta Schrock

I may believe that Buddhism is wrong and that all Buddhists
will inevitably burn in hell.  I may believe that black
people are inferior to white people.  I may hold those
beliefs quite strongly.  I may believe that any other
position is absolutely immoral and a majority of the
populace may well agree with me.  But the extent to which we
succeed in encoding those beliefs into our legal and social
structure is the extent to which we are not a free society.
-- Doretta Schrock

The morality advocated by those you call "gay liberation's
true believers" is indeed a radical one.  It is rooted in
such tenets as "all men are created equal" and that everyone
is entitled to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of
happiness." It is based on a strong belief in freedom of
association, freedom of religion, the free exercise of
individual rights and responsibilities, freedom of speech.
All very radical ideas -- still.
-- Doretta Schrock

You, along with other heterosexuals, clearly have the power
to ensure that my child be taught by her teachers that
homosexuality is wrong or to pretend that we don't exist.
You, collectively, have the power to deny her the protection
of her stepmother's health insurance should I become unable
to work.  You have the power to make sure that my pension
benefits are unavailable to my partner.  You have the power
to ensure that in order to protect my family I must pretend
in public that my partner and I do not have the deeply
committed relationship that we do in fact share.  You have
the power to send my child the message that her family is
not real and her parents are bad people.  I do not believe
that it is in your best interest to do these things.  More
importantly, I will never, ever, acquiesce in them.  I
cannot.
-- Doretta Schrock

Your "reasonable middle ground" offers me the right to
freedom from arrest for "homosexual acts" and the right to
sue employers or landlords who discriminate against me.  In
exchange, I must deny the truth and meekly help in the
pretense that all the stable, healthy families in Oregon are
heterosexual.  I must give up the hope that, ultimately,
truth does prevail.  Is there such a thing as "half a loaf
of liberty?" I think not.
-- Doretta Schrock

Auntie Em --  Hate you.  Hate Kansas.  Taking the dog.
-- Dorothy

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
-- Dorothy Parker

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should
be thrown with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker

If, with the literate, I am/ Impelled to try an epigram,/ I
never seek to claim the credit:/ We all assume that Oscar
said it.
-- Dorothy Parker

It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty
is exercised that ultimately determines whether liberty
itself survives...  When liberty is taken away by force it
can be restored by force.  When it is relinquished
voluntarily by default it can never be recovered.
-- Dorothy Thompson
   American journalist (1894-1961)

You're damn right we need a rational code of morality and
ethics.  But not much progress can be made in that direction
while we've still got a majority ranting about gods, devils,
souls, and absolute morality, and using an ancient book
written by ignorant nomads as a guide.
-- Doug Graham

You should be banished to the hell of TCP/IP lovers (it is
hot here, but we have *great* net connectivity!).
-- Doug Humphrey 

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would
give away a perfectly good kitten.
-- Doug Larson

Family Values: the sexist, racist, homophobic, classist,
"Christian" values of the 50s.
-- Doug Sewell

I love deadlines.  I like the whooshing sound they make as
they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more
bizarre and inexplicable.  There is another theory which
states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams
   "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

It is an important and popular fact that things are not
always what they seem.  For instance, on the planet Earth,
man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than
dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New
York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever
done was muck about in the water having a good time.  But
conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were
far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same
reasons.
-- Douglas Adams
   "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President
should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams
   "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

In the beginning the Universe was created.  This has made a
lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad
move.
-- Douglas Adams
   "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the
ground and miss.
-- Douglas Adams
   "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

This idea (of not noticing the identity of certain
repetitive events) is interesting when we apply it to
ourselves.  Are there highly repetitive events which occur in
our lives time and time again, and which we handle in the
identical stupid way each time, because we don't have enough
of an overview to perceive their sameness?
-- Douglas Hofstadter

Dogmatism is puppyism come to its full growth.
-- Douglas Jerrold

The characteristic property of hallucinogens, to suspend the
boundaries between the experiencing self and the outer world
in an ecstatic, emotional experience, makes it possible with
their help, and after suitable internal and external
preparation...to evoke a mystical experience according to
plan, so to speak...  I see the true importance of LSD in
the possibility of providing material aid to meditation
aimed at the mystical experience of a deeper, comprehensive
reality.  Such a use accords entirely with the essence and
working character of LSD as a sacred drug.
-- Dr. Albert Hoffman
   discoverer of LSD

The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as
unreal as a list of the hundred best books.
-- Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish
sometimes.
-- Dr. Who

I'm not interested in gay rights, I'm interested in queer
liberation.
-- Drew Lewis

One must be willing to go outside the system when the system
is not responding.
-- Drew Lewis

Silence is the voice of complicity.
-- Drew Lewis

A people that values its privileges above its principles
soon loses both.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to
do more to promote peace than our governments.  Indeed, I
think that people want peace so much that one of these days
governments had better get out of the way and let them have
it.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket
fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who
hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not
clothed.  This world in arms is not spending money alone.  It
is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its
scientists, the hopes of its children.  This is not a way of
life at all in any true sense.  Under the clouds of war, it
is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
   April 16, 1953

Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be
surprised if its opponents blame it for the draught.
-- Dwight Morrow

When a man's education is finished, he is finished.
-- E.A. Filene

There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on
account of one thing always leading to another.
-- E.B. White

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of
the people are right more than half of the time.
-- E.B. White

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the
world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard
to plan the day.
-- E.B. White

The emotions may be endless.  The more we express them, the
more we may have to express.
-- E.M. Forster

A thief believes everybody steals. 
-- E.W. Howe

If traditional values of vagueness and inaccuracy were good
enough for our parents they should be good enough for us.
-- Eamonn McManus

During a recent three-hour train journey in a carriage full
of bawling kiddies, it struck me that it is odd that
railways and airlines separate smokers from non-smokers, but
not children from people.
-- Eamonn McManus

Who dares gets a mouthful of earwigs.
Plus ca change, plus c'est un cafard dans la gueule.
A louse in the pooter is worth two in the mouth.
Quis custodiet ipsos pedes?
All's well that poots well.
Look before you suck.
-- Eamonn McManus

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments.
-- Earl Wilson

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting
for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Phillpots

Immortality -- a fate worse than death.
-- Edgar A. Shoaff

I place my faith in fools.  Self confidence, my friends call
it.
-- Edgar Allen Poe

Everyone has talent at twenty-five.  The difficulty is to
have it at fifty.
-- Edgar Degas

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little
better.
-- Edgar W. Howe

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good
persons to do nothing.
-- Edmund Burke

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another -- 
it's one damn thing over and over.
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

The effort of using machines to mimic the human mind has
always struck me as rather silly.  I would rather use them
to mimic something better.
-- Edsger Dijkstra

The question of whether a computer can think is no more
interesting than the question of whether a submarine can
swim.
-- Edsger Dijkstra 

All that is human must retrograde, if it do not advance.
-- Edward Gibbon

The scientists most esteemed by their colleagues are those
who are both very original and committed to the abstract
ideal of truth in the midst of clamoring demands of ego and
ideology.  They pass the acid test of promoting new knowledge
even at the expense of losing credit for it.
-- Edward O. Wilson
   "Biophilia"

The unique operations of the (human) brain are the result of
natural selection operating through the filter of culture.
They have suspended us between the two antipodal ideals of
nature and machine, forest and city, the natural and the
artifactual, relentlessly seeking, in the words of
geographer Yi-Fu Tuan, an equilibrium not of this world.
-- Edward O. Wilson
   "Biophilia"

The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes
longer.
-- Edward R. Murrow

Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the
situation.
-- Edward R. Murrow

Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for
solutions.
-- Edward R. Murrow

How about, the "citizens" have votes, which they can
make on subjects which affect them, and in practice the
results of the votes are obeyed?
-- Ken Arromdee
Votes are for weenies.  Post early and often.
-- Edward Vielmetti

Fear not your enemies, for they can only kill you; fear not
your friends, for they can only betray you.  Fear only the
indifferent, who permit the killers and betrayers to walk
safely on the earth.
-- Edward Yashinsky

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not
completely unhappen.
-- Edward de Bono

If we find nothing of interest where we are, we are likely
to find little of lasting interest where we wish to go.
-- Edwin Way Teale

After awareness and understanding comes action, I think.  I
believe that we who are involved in this "valuing diversity"
kind of work need to not just increase awareness, but also
encourage people to act on that awareness to make things
better.
-- Elaine May

Tell you what.  When the vast majority of straight folks in
this country learn how to have a private life privately,
learn how to "just be themselves without telling it to
everybody", why then I'll try to learn from them how to do
the same.
-- Elaine May

That was when I found out he harbored the misconception that
gay men are attracted to all other males.
-- Harry Foster
They all seem to think this.  Is this information part of
the early-on programming for heterosexuals or something?
-- Henry Mensch
It's an ego thing.  They think the whole world wants them.
It's a projection thing.  They want to fuck every woman who
walks the earth, therefore a gay man wants to fuck every man
who walks the earth.  It's a phobe thing.  They fear what
they do not understand.
-- Elaine Richards

You ever notice how the ones against abortion are for
capital punishment?  Typical fisherman's attitude: throw 'em
back in when they're small and kill them when they're
bigger.
-- Elayne Boosler

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus
handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard

The free mind must have one policeman: irony.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept
alive.  One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on
life.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of
Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of
education or of government by any one particular religious
faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

I can't stand people who say "Bisexuality is the only way to
be." Straights, gays, lesbians, bisexuals ...  we're all
just people.  If you never have a homosexual encounter from
birth to death ...  if you never have a heterosexual
encounter ...  so be it!
-- Elf Sternberg

But more frustrating are the ones who say "I could never/ I
would never." Let's be honest -- you don't know.  You don't
know if you'll ever win a lottery, you don't know if you'll
ever be in the position where you'll have to kill someone,
you don't know if you'll ever fall in love with someone,
*anyone*, regardless of gender.
-- Elf Sternberg

Equal rights are not special rights.  There is no such thing
as a "homosexual" cause above and beyond obtaining equal
rights and regards without concern for a person's sexual
orientation.  Thinking otherwise is sheer homophobia.
-- Elf Sternberg

One thing I've learned from being part of the gay/les/bi
movement, it's the ones who are afraid who die fastest.
It's the ones who are too scared to keep books in their
home, it's the ones who are too nervous to go into a good
gay/les bookstore, who don't learn about safe sex.  The
straight world isn't doing anything for them in that
respect, and they're not going to learn if they don't come
out.
-- Elf Sternberg

Confused the Hell out of my postman today.  I got my copies
of Playboy and Advocate on the same day!
-- Elf Sternberg

That's what being alive is all about.  No deity, no higher
goal exists than to bring joy to another person.
-- Elf Sternberg

Whoso loves believes the impossible.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally
you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty
annoying virtues.
-- Elizabeth Taylor

Those Macintoshes aren't the cute little boxes you think
they are.
-- Elizabeth Zwicky

Big Brother is hallucinating. 
-- Elizabeth Zwicky

Traditionally, emotional and social problems have been
judged as the moral shortcomings of an individual.  Someone
suffering from a psychiatric illness or an addiction is
rarely viewed as a person who has a disorder or who is taxed
by overwhelming circumstances.  Instead the affliction is
becomes a metaphor for a host of evils; it serves a
testimony of the individual's unworthiness, a cause for
condemnation.
-- Ellen L. Bassuk
   "Scientific American," December 1991

The cure for boredom is curiosity.  There is no cure for
curiosity.
-- Ellen Parr

What has Barbara Bush done to hurt you? 
-- Thomas Farrell
What do those who cheer at KKK rallies do to hurt us?
-- Ellen Seebacher

Don't fault Barbara Bush for loving and supporting her
husband.  She's doing what she thinks is right, no matter if
you agree with it or not.
-- Thomas Farrell
Don't fault those women who went around plugging "Kinder,
Kirche, Kueche." They were just going with what they thought
was right.  Just because they yelled "Heil" with the men
doesn't mean we should think they were bad or anything.
-- Ellen Seebacher

It wasn't lies.  It was just bullshit, that's all.
-- Elwood Blues

"Hope" is the thing with feathers --
That perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without the words --
And never stops -- at all --
-- Emily Dickinson

Capacity to terminate 
Is a specific grace ...
-- Emily Dickinson

Household pets should never be allowed at the dining table
unless they can hold their own in conversation.
-- Emily Post

Before I came here I was confused about this subject.
Having listened to your lecture I am still confused, but on
a higher level.
-- Enrico Fermi

It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one
already knows.
-- Epictetus

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice
as much as we speak.
-- Epictetus

The means by which certain pleasures are gained bring pains
many times greater than the pleasures.
-- Epicurus

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the
means he uses to frighten you.
-- Eric Hoffer
   "The Faber Book of Aphorisms," 1964

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty
life.
-- Eric Hoffer

Given the choice, I'd have been outta there faster than you
can click your heels together.  Dorothy and Toto were full
of shit.
-- Eric Holeman

The pink triangle is a strong symbol; stronger, I'm sure,
than the Nazis realized.  They chose it intending the pink
to mean shame.  Little did they know that we would hijack
it; never could they have thought that pink would become a
symbol of pride a thousand times stronger than the shame
they tried to force on us.
-- Eric Holeman

"Faggot" and "homo" have joined "queer" in my handbag of
reclaimed words.  By the time I'm done, the bigots, unable
to get a rise out of me with queer or fag or homo or
cocksucker, will be reduced to screaming "You fan of show
tunes, you!"
-- Eric Holeman

My apologies to all concerned.  I shall endeavor to be more
careful with cross posting.  However, as long as I'm posting
...  

Uh-oh.  Shoulda quit while you were only slightly behind,
dear.
-- Eric Holeman

Do homosexuals deserve different rights than heterosexuals?
Of course not.  (unknown idiot)

Very well.  Have it your way, then, and write to your
congressperson and tell him/her that all the "different
rights" for heteros, like marriage, or being able to enlist
in the military, are absolutely unacceptable to you.  Or do
the opposite, and urge him/her to allow us to enjoy the
rights that you do.

But until that happens, do stop blathering about how it
doesn't matter if you're gay.  It only makes you look
stupid.
-- Eric Holeman

How dare I get angry, simply because one straight male
getting AIDS is bigger news than all the thousands of homos
who are already dead.  Thilly moi.
-- Eric Holeman

Like most, I'm sorry that Magic has contracted this deadly
disease.  His family and wife have to be going through Hell.
But also like most, I have to say he brought this on
himself.
-- Kevin L. Wright

I've always wondered about people like this.  I wonder if,
for fun, they might visit the funeral of someone who died of
a heart attack, and offer comforting words like, "Well, I'm
sorry Irving died, but you know he brought it on himself
with all those steaks he used to eat." Or maybe something
like, "It's just too bad about Linda, but you know, she was
asking for it, smoking those two packs a day." Or even, "I'm
so sorry, but I did tell him he should have moved out of
that neighborhood before someone blew his brains out."
-- Eric Holeman

Diversity via exclusion, as it were.  I'll have to file that
one away with fucking for virginity.
-- Eric Holeman

Either you have power or you don't.  Either you drool or you
don't.  If you beg even a little, it's still begging.
-- Eric Holeman

Don't tell me that you're doing something valuable for me
when you're quietly climbing your way to the top of the
straight ladder.
-- Eric Holeman 

For every Leonard Matlovich, there are ten thousand Pete
Williamses.
-- Eric Holeman

You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for
throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.
-- Eric Holeman

If that's not clear enough, perhaps we should produce an
instructional coloring book for you.
-- Eric Holeman

Most straight people out there hate your guts.  You or any
other faggot could drop dead tomorrow, and it wouldn't
bother the straight people of the world one bit.
-- Eric Holeman

I really pity the homo who thinks the issue of his own
survival is just another debatable opinion.
-- Eric Holeman

I, for one, have no desire to convince Middle America that
liking homos will give their mouths sex appeal.
-- Eric Holeman

I gave a considerable amount of thought to the "Support the
Troops" thing, and came to the conclusion that what Frank
Sinatra sang about love and marriage is equally true about
war and soldiers: Ya can't have one without the other.
-- Eric Holeman

Insofar as possible, I surround myself with pleasant,
tolerant, intelligent people.  Life's too short to spend it
with people who don't like what you are.
-- Eric Holeman

So what are you whining for?  I've never understood that
about Republicans.  Even when they win, they manage to come
off sounding like an oppressed minority.
-- Eric Holeman

This may come as a surprise, but dishing is a
constitutionally protected right.
-- Eric Holeman

The right to be inoffensive to the hetero community is
something y'all can keep for yourselves.
-- Eric Holeman

Hell hath no fury like the drooling of a Republican in
anticipation of an electable Quayle replacement.
-- Eric Holeman

This approach only reinforces stereotypes of drug users as
losers who aren't people until they give up the stuff.
Better by far to take a lesson from the queers and make no
apologies for who you are or what you do.
-- Eric Holeman

[Re Lorraine Day, anti-AIDS bigot] The main question to ask
is why is an orthopaedic surgeon talking about something
that they have not got the specialty training for?
-- G. Wolfe Woodbury
For the same reason that most of the PhDs who speak out for
creationism seem to have PhDs in engineering and for the
same reason that most of the statements on AIDS coming out
of the Reagan administration seemed to come from the
Secretary of Education, not the Surgeon General.  Closed
minds seem to flourish better with lack of information.
-- Eric Nedervold

"Grand ennui" sounds so much nicer than "annoyance."
-- Eric P. Scott

[Disk] quotas are evil; they discourage users from learning
how their greed impacts others.  We're not here to parent
users, we just provide a model electronic ecosystem.  If
they deplete their resources, they become extinct.  A very
simple concept.
-- Eric P. Scott

Our most important 2.1 system has over 86 days continuous
uptime -- and it's only that little because of a power
outage.  But, of course, I'm not the kind of person who goes
around telling people how long I can keep it up for.
-- Eric P. Scott

UNIX is a scrawny kid from New Jersey who became something
of a local hero, but is now middle-aged with a beer gut.
Mach tries to turn modern UNIX into RoboCop; POSIX is an
attempt to make UNIX more attractive to corporate America
with silicone implants and Tammy Fay Bakker's double-parked
Maybelline truck.
-- Eric P. Scott

Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect; but it's a lot
better than what we have now.
-- Eric Sheppard

Precisely what common sense is for, to be jarred into
uncommon sense.
-- Eric Temple Bell

And remember, rebooting your brain can be tricky.
-- Eric Townsend

To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only
at the price of a total detachment, which excludes the
ability to experience happiness.
-- Erich Fromm

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much
destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy
or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-- Erich Fromm

Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a
problem which he has to solve.
-- Erich Fromm

A desire for power over another is due to a perceived lack
of power over oneself.
-- Erich Rickheit

X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays
that way.
-- Erik Fair

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing
two men holding guns than holding hands?
-- Ernest Gaines III

Every man's life ends the same way.  It is only the details
of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man
from another.
-- Ernest Hemingway
   "Sunday Times," 1966

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark
Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
-- Ernest Hemingway

The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in
the "social sciences" is: some do, some don't.
-- Ernest Rutherford

They call television a medium.  That is because it is
neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs

For an actress to be a success she must have the face of
Venus, the brains of Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the
memory of Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a
rhinoceros.
-- Ethel Barrymore

Education begins with self-realization.
-- Etienne Navarre

All serious daring starts from within.
-- Eudora Welty

When great changes occur in history, when great principles
are involves, as a rule the majority are wrong.
-- Eugene Debs

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have
to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough
to think it's important.
-- Eugene McCarthy

I think the problem isn't the amount of knowledge we have to
assimilate in our world, but the rate at which we can
assimilate it.  Science, engineering, and technology do not
yield the "whys" of truth, only the "hows." In fact, they
are not truths, but opinions from the current reigning
theories of how we think the physical world works.
-- Eugene Miya

Science is about skepticism. 
-- Eugene Miya

The best of seers is he who guesses well. 
-- Euripides

To persevere, trusting in what hopes one has, is courage.
The coward despairs.
-- Euripides

Vanilla Ice is a few cubes short of a full tray.
-- Evan Leibovitch

On "outing": Anyone who says, in effect, that *your* private
life is *their* business, had damned well better be prepared
to accept that *their* private life is *your* business.
-- Evelyn Leeper

For practical purposes we have agreed that sanity
consists in sharing the hallucinations of our neighbors.
-- Evelyn Underhill

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us,
but for ours to amuse them.
-- Evelyn Waugh

If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump to
safety, but if you put that same frog in a pot of cold water
and turn on the heat, it will stay and be scalded to death.
-- Everett Dirksen

A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up
to real money.
-- Everett Dirksen

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to
assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel
moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.
-- Ewald Nyquist

Real education must be limited to men who *insist* on
knowing.  The rest is mere sheep-herding.
-- Ezra Pound

It looks like I'm about to start going steady with someone
whose body metal weighs more than he does.
-- Roger Phillips
You've started dating a mouse on a leash?
-- FJ van Wingerde

[Of Miss Joan Crawford:] What I noticed was that she looked
so _totally_ _terrified_.  She was using every technique she
had to keep calm and project togetherness, but the way she
stared into the camera...like a bunny in a headlight seconds
before being run over.
-- FJ van Wingerde

What kind of software solutions does the Devil- mountain
provide, anyway?  Object-oriented Cobol?"
-- FJ van Wingerde

To me home is not rooms and places.  It is the people I want
to be with.
-- FJ van Wingerde

Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to
investigate.
-- F.M. Knowles

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to
recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-- F.P. Jones

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist, but in
the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but
she did it backwards and in high heels.
-- Faith Whittlesey

Bless you my children. Go and sin lots more.
-- Father Amelia

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to
others.
-- Fedor Dostoevsky

[Of an unknown problem] Will try anything, from burning
the hairs of a frog in a stone soup to drying an ice
cube with a hot towel ... if you just tell me that might
work.
-- Fernando Cabral

And the Lord God said unto Moses -- and correctly, I believe
...
-- Field Marshal Montgomery
   opening a chapel service

The writer should never be ashamed of staring.
-- Flannery O'Connor

There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by
a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor

I'm always highly irritated by people who imply that writing
fiction is an escape from reality.  It is a plunge into
reality and it's very shocking to the system.
-- Flannery O'Connor

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few
nickels in the machine.
-- Flip Wilson

If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
-- Florynce Kennedy

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he
is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
-- Francis Bacon

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when
they can see nothing but sea.
-- Francis Bacon

Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men
shall pass for wise.
-- Francis Bacon

All rising to great place is by winding stair.
-- Francis Bacon

There is a superstition in avoiding superstition.
-- Francis Bacon

All colors agree in the dark. 
-- Francis Bacon

For what a man would like to to be true, that he more
readily believes.
-- Francis Bacon

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
-- Francis Bacon

If something goes wrong, it is more important to talk about
who is going to fix it, than who is to blame.
-- Francis J. Gable

Old people like to give good advice, as solace for no longer
being able to provide bad examples.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
   "Maxims" 1665

The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you
realize it is your move.
-- Frank Crane

I'm sorry that your gay friends were shallow.  Yet, if your
conversations are anything like your posts, its no wonder
that more thoughtful people won't spend time with you.  I'm
not encouraged that any of this will change your mind.
Perhaps your ignorance is invincible.
-- Frank Elliott

Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of
Christianity.
-- Frank Harris

I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the
little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my
fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And
when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its
path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I
will remain.
-- Frank Herbert
   "Dune," 1965

TV is chewing gum for the eyes. 
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

As I used to tell my Shakespeare classes, the task before us
is not to make Shakespeare relevant to us, but rather to
make ourselves relevant to Shakespeare.
-- Frank Maloney

He dumped me when I came out to him, and not on to him, I
hasten to add, although in retrospect that might have the
reason.  He's the only friend who's ever openly rejected me
because I'm queer, and I have no intention of ever getting
over it.
-- Frank Maloney

I have recently heard it posited that the cold father and
warm mother (which describes my family rather well) are not
so much the cause of a homosexual child as the *result*
thereof.  That is, the parents can sense somehow the
differentness of the child and respond in those ways.
-- Jeff Putnam
Gee, no wonder you're queer.  My parents were pretty much
always the same temperature, as far as I could tell.
-- Frank Maloney

I just had a vision of the scene at Seattle-Tacoma
International Airport as plane-load after plane-load of
bath-crazed females crowd into the concourses and espresso
bars, their overnight bags, panniers, rucksacks, and fanny
packs rubbing and scrapping, creating a harsh continuo in
counterpoint the higher-pitched murmurings, laughter, and
occasional shrieks as would-be bathers compete for taxis and
creme rinse.  Finally, amidst the confused jostlings, a new
sense of purpose, of unity, of solidarity begins to ignite
this batho-phrenetic con