fvaughn@cosy.softwords.bc.ca posts to Gaynet: I was browsing through the multitudinous magazine racks at Tower Records in Boston earlier this evening and happened across a publication called _Sister 2 Sister_. It's a somewhat gossip-laden glossy with a lot of very positive articles on people of all shades in various visible and not-so-visible positions within the entertainment world, with a special emphasis on women of color (If you're a true talk-show fanatic, you may have seen the editor, Jamie Foster-Brown, on the gossip segment of the Joan Rivers show from time to time.). Anyway, the June issue had a couple of particularly appealing pieces, esp. one actually written by LA GRANDE DIVA hirself, RuPaul, that I feel should be shared w/those who can't easily get this slammin' magazine in their immediate vicinity (Since my net connection has been unpredictable as of late, any kind soul who could pass this on to soc.culture.african-american and whatever other newsgroups you consider important for this article, please feel free to do so w/my full blessing.) **************Begin Text****************** "She's quite a man!": RuPaul writes about being gay and going home to his family. Dear Jamie, So many times, young African American gays exile themselves or are exi exiled from their families and their families have no idea what their lifestyle is like. But it's just like _their_ lifestyle. People are people. Everybody is really the same, and the truth is, everybody wants to be loved, everybody wants to be respected, and everybody on this planet wants to feel like they belong somewhere. I went to my family reunion this past summer. My manager said, "Ru, they are going to eat you alive." But I said, "No, baby: If they accept my Uncle Warren, they can accept anything. I _have_ to go." It was great. My father has fourteen brothers and sisters. There were 65 people there. They all follow my act through the media, but they haven't seen me perform in person. They had a talent show, so I did my act. I was the talk of the talent show. I did my cousin's make-up and I dragged my daddy up on the stage and I said, "I wanted to come back today for the kids, so they could see that no matter what you do, this is your family and you should be able to come back home." I wanted the kids to know that you can go home anytime. I wanted not only their blessings, but I wanted them to see that I'm just the same Ru that I was. The only thing is, I look different. I felt proud that My folks got to see the real me-I was always the quiet kid. I stood in the corner and nobody paid any attention to me...until I put on a pair of high heels and a _wig_, honey. I wish every person, regardless of why they exiled themselves family, could experience this feeling. When I dragged my daddy up on the stage, it was the most beautiful thing you ever wanted to see. I have a video of it that I want to show on "Arsenio." Was my daddy embarrassed? No. I was gorgeous! You've seen my picture, darling. When I went to my father's hometown in Louisiana, it was so great to see where he came from. I got a sense of where I was coming from-where my gorgeous legs come from, my gorgeous teeth, my sense of humor-it all from these people. My people. I wanted to give it back to them. It's not about hiding. In our African American culture in this country, blacks are pretty conservative. If something is not in their immediate surroundings, they won't care to try to find out about it. And people can be cruel. A lot of times for us gay people, it's easier to just go away. But you have to deal with your family, straight or gay. You immediately have to go back home-and come home to yourself. I travel around a lot and I've become this gay folk hero in my own time. A lot of kids come to me and say, "Well, you know, I have no direction...." I tell them the first thing is, you gotta love yourself. Loving yourself can make such a difference in your life. I don't care if you're six or sixty, it starts with loving yourself. If you don't love yourself, honey, how you gonna love somebody else? Look at yourself as a work in progress. One exercise I do is I look in the mirrorand tell myself, "I love you. You are beautiful, and no matter what those other people said to you, they're wrong." I cry a lot when I see a beautiful landscape or the ocean. I'll say, "That's me. That's how beautiful I am." You have to talk to yourself that way to combat all the negative things you were told as a child, perhaps. I've read a lot of books about the child inside-as everybody has-and it's important to tell that child those things because a lot of us are just 12-year-olds as far as emotions go. And you have to bring that child up to date. You need to tell that child it's wonderful. Love yourself. If you've come out to your parents and they had a bad reaction, your parents will come around. They're doing the best they can. You have to explain to them. Just tell them what love is. When you're attracted to someone, it's the same as when they were attracted to each other. Educate them. Let them know you're not different from what you've always been. It's just that you're attracted to people that are the same sex. I'm very fortunate. I have never been in the closet, ever. I've known since I was a child that I'm gay. My parents have always known. They always knew I was special. I thought it was because I was gay, but as I've moved through the world, I learned it wasn't because I was gay, but because I _am_ special. My parents never made it an issue. They just knew I ws sensitive and a very caring person. My mother got my name out of _Ebony_ magazine-RuPaul Andre Charles. With a name like that, they either wanted me to go into show business or be a hairdresser. You've got to find that strength within yourself. And the thing is, you decide that you're _gonna_ live or you're _gonna_ die. Find strength in life. We are about perpetuating life, and that's what my whole thing is about-life must go on no matter what. Our time is so short. That was my motivation for going to my family reunion. I know what I'm doing is right. I've never been ashamed of myself. In my heart of hearts, no one can tell me what I'm doing is wrong. Tell people to be honest. Don't live with lies. It's up to you, it's up to me to bring this out. I think this is a very interesting time to be alive right now because things are changing at a rapid pace. Gays in the military, people trying to find the child in themselves; how do you feel about women? how do you feel about men?-this is all linked together. I don't know if it's because we are approaching the millenium or what, but things are happening and will happen with or without you. You've got to get _with_ it. I felt it was up to me to bring my family into the new age because I'm about _world _domination_, honey. I've been doing professional drag for about eleven years. I'm 6'5" without heels. But with hair, heels and attitude, as you know, I am through the damn roof. The one thing I do that no one else does better than me is, I communicate somehow. I plug into a frequency that other people understand. When people see me on stage and I'm gorgeous, what they're seeing is a reflection of their own beautiful imagery. When they pick up on my frequency and my rhythm, they go, "Oh I love that. That's me." God loves everybody. People who live outside the main parameters of society see things other people don't see. It's like dogs that can hear things we can't hear. Once you open up your mind, you can see it. When you break down all that stuff, underneath everything, we're all doing drag, honey. This drag phenomenon crosses all lines. It's more than just a wig-it's all attitude. You better work! RUPAUL (signature) **************End of Text***************************** If you were as touched by this piece as I was, let the publishers know! You can contact _Sister 2 Sister_ at... Sister 2 Sister P.O.Box 41148 Washington, DC 20018 Attention: Jamie Foster Brown, Publisher ...and let them know that you are ALL FOR a Black-woman-produced publication being truly inclusive of all segments of our community in its content!!