From: Sam Damon <damon@dorsai.dorsai.org>
Date: Sun, 17 Apr 1994 18:24:29 -0400 (edt)

THE 'PHILADELPHIA' SCRIBE FIGHTS BACK
   FILM VIEW / Ron Nyswaner   (The New York Times 1/30/94, Arts & Leisure)
   (Nyswaner, the screenwriter of "Philadelphia," has also written "Mrs.
    Soffel" and "Swing Shift.")

I feel obliged to respond to some of the criticism directed at the motion
picture "Philadelphia," so the world can return its attention to less-pressing
matters, like the civil war in Bosnia.

Where's Antonio Banderas?
   I am in complete agreement with critics who believe our film should have
featured more of Antonio Banderas.  In fact, I believe every film would be
significantly improved by featuring more of Antonio Banderas.
   Preferably naked.  Preferably in a scene in which he makes love, naked, to
a charming, moderately successful, homosexual screenwriter.  Anyone who has
written scenes along these lines may send them to me for input.

What's with this loving, supportive family that surrounds the Tom Hanks
character?
    Mystified as I am by the strong reaction against our presentation of a gay
person's supportive, loving family, I mentioned the issue to my boyfriend's
mother, Gloria.  She was staying with us for the holidays.
   "Do you support my relationship with Alan?" I asked.
   Gloria seemed startled, and replied: "What are you tafking about, support. 
You need money?"
   "Not that kind of support," I continued.  "Doesn't it make you angry that
you son is gay?  Don't you want to throw us out of the house?"
    Gloria turned to my boyfriend: "This is *your* house.  What's he talking
about?"
   Alan answered, "He's been reading reviews."  Then Gloria said something in
Yiddish that is unprintable here.

Why don't Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas kiss?
   Most of the scenes between Tom and Antonio take place during medical crises
in the emergency room of a hospital and in a courtroom during a civil trial. 
I've never had the opportunity to kiss my boyfriend in the emergency room of a
hospital or in a crowded courtroom, although we have made it our New Year's
resolution to kiss in both these locations as soon as possible.

Aren't we worried that, if we fail, we will have made it more difficult for
other gay-themed projects to be made?
   Fortunately, I don't have to answer that question, as our picture is a
commercial success, having been No. 1 at the box office for the last two
weekends.
   In Hollywood, success gives you the right to deflect all questions and
criticism, directing your energy instead toward perfecting the art of gloating.

