Subject: Vermont and the New Marriage Strategy
From: [email-masked]
Date: Thu, 24 Jul 1997 18:20:43 -0400 (EDT)

Dear members of the community:

     We are greatly heartened that some organizations which previously
opposed ALL marriage cases are now working with couples in Vermont who have
brought a lawsuit there.  

     Despite assertions to the contrary, this does indeed represent a
fundamental change in the previous strategy--long questioned by FORM and many
others--to file and/or precipitate absolutely no other cases until Baehr was
finally resolved.  

     We would have quietly and graciously accepted this very welcome change
in policy, except for the fact that in announcing this new strategy, some
have gratuitously attacked those who had already filed other post-Baehr cases
in two other states; Alaska and New York.  These people also knew what they
were doing, particularly in Alaska, which had been named years ago by a group
of gay legal experts as an ideal state to bring a case.  Also relevant to the
Alaska case is that this couple was actually ready to go way back in 1987,
and were thwarted only by the collapse of the gay legal organization that was
to represent them.          

     Although it has often caused some consternation to do so, we must again
point out the central fact here:  ALL major gay rights groups opposed
fighting for marriage prior to the May, 1993 initial win in Hawaii.  This was
a mistake.  It is of course possible to overlook and forgive this, but that
it made extremely difficult in an environment where others--often those who
have supported marriage all along--are attacked for expressing views
different from those of a very small number of key players.  In a very
personal way, I can only feel that if I had been so terribly wrong about a
particular issue in the past, I would not, in the present, feel free to
dictate to all others the way that issue should be conducted.  

     As always, it is extremely difficult to do the best thing for marriage
and for the gay community, trying to balance not creating unnecessary strife,
with a sense that certain words and behaviors are so harmful that they must
be called to account.  It is fearful to contemplate what responses even this
message may bring, but I would ask people to recall how all of this began,
both in the short and very long-term.  

     One thing that was said that is incontrovertibly true is that these
debates about strategy and tactics are not nearly as important as gay people
and those who support us doing ALL we can in our daily lives to make marriage
a reality.  FORM would of course invite people to work with us, as many other
organizations will invite you to work with them.  For our part, though, we
must also say outright that the main thing is to get involved.  WE WOULD
RATHER HAVE YOU GET INVOLVED WITH ORGANIZATIONS AND INDIVIDUALS WHO WE
BELIEVE HAVE ACTED WRONGLY, RATHER THAN HAVE YOU NOT GET INVOLVED AT ALL.  We
invite other organizations to join us in making this statement publicly and
openly.  We owe marriage, and ourselves, no less.      

Jeffrey Nickel, President
The Forum on the Right to Marriage (FORM)
Box 8033 JFK Station
Boston, MA 02114
(617) 868-FORM
[email-masked]
HTTP://www.calico-company.com/formboston
America Online:  Keyword:  Marriage onQ  -OR- 
GLCF Library:  New Files -or- Legal Issues -or- Organizations

Materials available:
Arguments/Letters to the Editor
Flier (new) *
General Quotations
Hawaii Primer 
How You Can Help
Ithaca Primer
Law Chart
Law Review Summary
Legal History 
Legal Summary
Marriage Primer     
Press Kit *
Resources
Timeline   
Wedding Announcements  

*available soon

##############################
FORM is a national grassroots organization primarily
engaged in education and outreach concerning the issue of
same-sex marriage.

FORM provides resources and training to similar locally
based groups throughout country.

FORM exists as well to facilitate and support the efforts 
of individuals, whether legal or legislative, that advance
the cause of same-sex marriage in the United States.

When feasible, FORM will work in concert with gay and
lesbian political groups to optimize organized efforts to
attain same-sex marriage rights.
##########################################
--------(Please print out, cut here, and mailback)-----------

Please help us to begin building the framework for legalizing same-sex
marriage.  Membership and contributions to FORM go solely towards the goal of
obtaining legal marriage rights for gay couples.   

_ Yes, I want to be a member of FORM.  Please
enter my membership at the following level:

    _ Individual ($20.)
    _ Household ($30.) 
    _ Student/Low-income ($10.)

    _ I want to make an additional contribution in the amount of:

       $ _____  
   
 (Please make checks payable to: Forum on the Right to Marriage (FORM), Inc.)

 _ Add me to your mailing list:     
 __________________________________
 __________________________________
 __________________________________

 _ I'm interested in becoming a FORM organizer/starting a chapter in my area.

We hope that you will become involved in FORM.  But the most important thing,
in whatever aspect of gay rights we may be involved in, is that we as gay
people share with those around us the truth of our lives.  FORM's activities
can serve only as an adjunct to individual gay men, women, and young people
willing to reach out and change the hearts and minds of the American people.
Thanks for your interest and your continued assistance in helping to make
marriage a reality for the gay community.  

Please mail to:

The Forum on the Right to Marriage (FORM)
Box 8033 JFK Station
Boston, MA 02114
***********************************

Contributions to FORM go solely toward our efforts to obtain full marriage
rights for same-sex couples.