Subject: AIDS terror article
From: [email-masked]
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 1997 07:39:53 -0500 (EST)

Coping With AIDS Terror: A Guide For The Urban Gay
Published in In Style for Men, Jan/Feb 1986
by Michael Shernoff, MSW & Daniel Bloom, MSW
	 1986 Michael Shernoff & Daniel Bloom
	Permission is granted to copy or reproduce this article either in full o=
r in part, without prior written authorization of the authors on the sole=
 condition that the authors are credited and notified of reproduction.
 	"It left just as if someone turned off a light. Joy is gone from my lif=
e."
 	"I don't understand it. All of a sudden, sex makes no sense to me."
 	"I thought I worked out all those fears when I was coming out. But now =
I am beginning to think that being gay is wrong."
Each of these men is terrified of AIDS.  This terror is eroding the core =
of his identity, affecting his perceptions of himself and his world. Fort=
unately, when he acknowledges this fear, and identifies what it is he fea=
rs, he can take active measures to win back whatever terror has eroded,
There have been over 14,000 confirmed cases of AIDS in the United States.=
  But those stricken by the disease are not its only victims.  AIDS is a =
dark cloud casting a pall over the gay community, and those who live in i=
ts shadow, the medically well but scared, have been referred to as "the w=
orried well."
This phrase is catchy but inaccurate because it is much too broad. With t=
he daily newspapers carrying hysterical story after hysterical story abou=
t this disease, everyone is frightened and concerned, however "worried an=
d well." But there are those among the numbers of the worried- well who a=
re so preoccupied that the worry itself becomes a central part of their l=
ives.  And there are those who may not even be worrying but whose behavio=
r and life so show the effects of fear, anxiety or depression that they l=
ead lives vastly and unnecessarily changed from the one they once led, li=
ves now mostly sad, joyless and unsatisfying.
Each of the quotes at the beginning of this article qualifies the speaker=
 as AIDS-terrified.  The following is a list of behaviors or attitudes wh=
ich these or other men could exhibit as "symptoms" of AIDS terror and are=
 offered here as a guide for "self-diagnosis."
 	1. A once sexually active man decided that the only way to be safe from=
 AIDS is to stop having sex; or
 	2. Just isn't as interested in sex any more;
 	3. Suddenly begins to have sexual difficulties, such as erection proble=
ms or inability to ejaculate;
 	4. Withdraws from social contacts that were once satisfying or spends i=
ncreasing time alone-and does not enjoy it;
 	5. Completely withdraws from gay friends and the community out of a fea=
r of contracting AIDS;
 	6. Is depressed, anxious or sad for no apparent reason;
 	7. Constantly worries about his health and refuses to believe his physi=
cian's assurances that he has no medical condition;
 	8. Becomes more self-doubting and self-deprecating, or begins again to =
think that there is something wrong with being gay;
 	9. Experiences increased sleeplessness and nightmares;
 	10. Loses his appetite.
=0D
Several points deserve stressing. To qualify as a "symptom," all should i=
nvolve changes in behavior or attitude and occur more or less simultaneou=
sly with the knowledge of AIDS.  For some this may have been only a few m=
onths ago, for others it may have been as long ago as five years., when A=
IDS was first reported.  For example, a man who always had difficulty sle=
eping should not be concerned if that is his only symptom.  A man for who=
m sex never was an important part of his life need not fit this pattern i=
f he often went a considerable length of time without sexual contacts.
Secondly, these items might occur without conscious thoughts or feelings =
about AIDS. Sometimes, the mental process called "denial" keeps troubling=
 thoughts our of awareness, even though the person behaves and acts as if=
 wracked by worry.  This is as true for a person troubled by AIDS as in a=
ny other emotionally difficult situation.
Clearly, there is a difference between appropriate fear of AIDS and AIDS =
terror.  Today, almost everyone is afraid of AIDS.  This fear is reasonab=
le, concrete and is an emotion signaling danger to be avoided. IT is an e=
motional call to do something to reduce the perceived danger of AIDS. The=
 kind of feeling and behavior to be concerned about are those that do not=
 help solve the problem of the danger and are an irrational, self-defeati=
ng response to AIDS.
Now, once identified as a victim of AIDS terror, what can you do? The har=
dest task may be over. Recognizing the effects of AIDS terror is the diff=
icult part of this process.  In fact, this in itself may establish the mo=
mentum that will make the rest seem easy by comparison.  The next strateg=
y is twofold. Firs the person should consider the following active sugges=
tions:
 	1. Since anxiety thrives where there is ignorance, combat you worry wit=
h information. Get a complete medical check up.
 	2. Reduce your risk of contracting AIDS. Practice safe sex and know wha=
t practices are low risk.  Healthy sex guidelines are available through t=
he local AIDS community service organizations.  Familiarize yourself with=
 them and enjoy sex.  Since abstinence itself could be stress inducing, r=
=82sum=82 your sex life, safely and intelligently.
 	3. Reduce your risk of contracting AIDS. This suggestion is so obviousl=
y important that it its repeated.  If you use intravenous drugs, be sure =
to use clean needles and do not share them or other drug preparation para=
phernalia; e.g. cookers.
 	4. Recognize that there are other threats to your life that have even p=
redated AIDS educe your alcohol, drug and tobacco intake.  Evaluate your =
diet.
 	5. Medical treatment for AIDS can be catastrophically expensive. If you=
 are worried about medical bills, or even if you are not, get medical ins=
urance and disability income insurance. If you are presently insured, hav=
e your policies reviewed by an insurance professional.
 	6. Identify and reduce the stresses in your home and work life.
 	7. Assess your emotional supports, friends, family and community and do=
 whatever is necessary to increase these supports.
 	8. Increase what is joyful and life affirming to you.
 	9. Give yourself permission to be afraid.  AIDS is a horror, and not to=
 fear it is cause for worry in itself!
 	10. Learn to relax. Simple breathing exercises, meditation and visualiz=
ations are all simple to learn and may themselves bring you calm amid the=
 turbulence of AIDS terror.
The second aspect of this suggested strategy is more subjective.  Each of=
 you should look closely at your life, what you do that is enjoyable and =
is not enjoyable.  What is satisfying and what is taxing.  Try making a l=
ist with two columns and label the joyful side "healthy" and the taxing s=
ide "unhealthy." The criterion for the list is however you define what is=
 "healthy" and "unhealthy" for yourself.  Next, compare the "healthy" and=
 "unhealthy" columns.  Which column has the most items? The task then is =
for you to do whatever is necessary to be sure that this inventory is wei=
ghted in favor of the healthy column.  The inventory should be evaluated =
and updated weekly.
IF these suggestions seem difficult to follow, if they are even difficult=
 to consider, or if they have been tried and have not helped your "sympto=
ms," then another approach may be needed.  Though sometimes isolated, AID=
S terrified people are still part of the gay community and they can use t=
he community as a resource.  Throughout the country numerous AIDS service=
 community organizations have been formed in response to this health emer=
gency.  Many of them, as well as other gay community social service organ=
izations and private practitioners, offer groups to help the worried well=
=2E Merely being with other men in similar situation and talking about al=
l the issues and concerns, may make it easier to deal with these feelings=
=2E
Terror of AIDS, AIDS induced anxiety and AIDS itself may stir deeper rumb=
lings than this article has dealt with.  Sometimes, stress induced by a p=
resent situation reawakens old demons that need to be looked at with more=
 attention.  If that seems to be the case you can always call for a consu=
ltation with a well trained psychotherapist who has experience working wi=
th gay men.
These suggestions should not be considered as easy as these cookbook like=
 steps may suggest. In fact, they may involve real struggle and efforts a=
t increased self-awareness.  If  this struggle is too difficult, then it =
might be the time to consult a mental health professional.  Especially du=
ring this health emergency, no one should be self conscious in asking for=
 a psychotherapist's help. Local AIDS service and gay community social se=
rvice organizations should be helpful in finding a psychotherapist famili=
ar with this problem.  We are all in this war together and no one need su=
ffer it alone.
=0D

Key Words: gay men, gay men, gay men, gay men, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, me=
ntal health, mental health, mental health, mental health=

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