Bisexual conference voices concerns 
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Sunday, February 7, 1999

By JEAN RIMBACH
Staff Writer
The Record (a newspaper published in Bergen New Jersey)

NEW BRUNSWICK -- Misconceptions, health issues, and activism were among
the topics discussed Saturday at a conference on bisexuality that wraps
up today at Rutgers University.

"I think a lot of people of different backgrounds and perspectives are
coming together to discuss different things that affect everybody,"
said Auralie Ramos, a Rutgers alumnus and a conference coordinator.
"It's empowerment through the dialogue."

The Tri-State Regional Bisexual Conference, held at the university's
Douglass campus, opened Friday and has drawn nearly 200 people. Such
forums have been growing in recent years.

On Saturday, the academic and social conference included workshops that
focused on eating disorders, HIV, alternatives to marriage, safe sex,
literature, bias crimes, and building a bisexual movement or support
group.

"A lot of people, especially when they come out, are very lonely and
are looking for commonality and are looking for some community," Tom
Limoncelli, a conference coordinator, said at a talk on forming support
groups.

Limoncelli, like others, noted that phobia toward bisexuality is found
in the gay as well as the straight community.  Some at the conference
noted that those on both ends of the sexual spectrum view bisexuals as
being in transition, in denial, or as liars. Some have been told
they're not bisexual, they're gay.

Bisexuals, too, can be seen simply as promiscuous or oversexed.

"I think it's definitely an issue, this stereotype of being promiscuous
or liking anything that moves," said a 23-year-old woman.

An older man told one group that for years he was told in therapy that
there's no such thing as being bisexual. A woman said some can't
understand why she has veered from a heterosexual lifestyle.

"If you can be with a man, why would I choose to be with a woman?" she
said of the reaction. However, she said, she now feels true to herself
and her feelings.

Ellen Schwartz, a co-president of the Bergen County chapter of the
support group Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays,
called the conference "an affirming situation for bisexual people,"
adding: "It's always good when people can come together."

"We need to learn more about the diversity of gender issues," said the
Teaneck resident. "My own daughter is bisexual -- there's a lot of
pressure for her to be boxed into one place or another. It's a tough
thing for people to understand, that people can perceive of gender in
much more fluid ways, and that this isn't negative."

Misconceptions and pressure to wear one label or the other can have
repercussions. Bill Wedin, executive director of the non-profit
Bisexual Information and Counseling Services, discussed why rates of
HIV infection are higher for bisexual men than other groups.

"Bi-phobia in and of itself is a major factor in terms of leading
people into high-risk behavior," Wedin told one workshop.

Bisexual men, he said, are less likely to go for an HIV test, and when
they do, they are less likely than gay men to return for the results.
Health professionals can be insensitive, and many simply don't ask the
right questions, he said.

Wedin noted that some 80 percent of bisexual men don't use condoms with
their female partners, and 77 percent don't disclose their sexuality to
physicians. Wedin said nothing is being done to help bisexual men open
up to health professionals, and no funds are going into programs that
would benefit bisexuals and their partners.

"It's important we start to think of AIDS/HIV as a bi issue," he said.